lost-in-facades??

2009-09-02T17:32:00.001+08:00

It’s been a long time since I last blogged…

Let’s see..what have I been up to….

Actually time really flies its already week 6 into the internship and tho its really tiring but I try to make the most out of it....especially the weekends…

Internship can be quite a bore and interesting at the same time..i definitely learn things there but because of its long hours and the nature that it is compulsory for us to attend it in full, so it makes it slightly less fun.

Well there are many things that u can learn from working in the hospital, you see many different patients, with different illnesses, with different ways of expression, different upbringing, different language, different symptoms and so on and so forth. I think I will share about the many things I learned and witnessed at the hospital.

Hospital hours are supposedly, 730 to 5 pm and depends on the dept u are in, u might need to OT on the weekends or work late.I suppose I can say that I am lucky that I need not OT so far but that is partially because I haven’t been the very high demanding dept yet in the rotation of 23 dept in the hospital in a year.

Weekend before the onset of the internship a group of 10 of us went clubbing and I must say that it was quite a fun time out and it was a different kind of fun. Back in Singapore when I go clubbing w a couple of gal friends, it usually means drinking till there is a little feel and then dancing and it can be quite fun but this was a different fun. Yes we drink, but it was very little only. There was a portion on them who were not drinkers and were just there for the fun of it and some dancing and just hanging out with friends. Then I was like playing mother hen.

The first weekend, I went out with mei xiu and bf(zheng wen) to nan luo gu xiang and boy did we spend a lot of money…..on paper products mainly. Discovered that zheng wen was one who shares some what a common interest in paper produstc like nice looking notebooks etc. then we ate at an Indian restaurant that was supposedly highly recommended on the internet’s traveler’s guide kind of thing and the food was not bad but not that terrific la….It was a pity that all of us forgot to bring camera…sigh…then we finally ended the night at the raffles city shopping centre which has recently opened at the dong zhi men mrt. It had more slightly above average kind of shops and the toilets were also nice…well, being in the shopping centre makes u think of Singapore.

The second weekend, I went to Da Xing city (Liao Ning) / Qin Huang Dao (Hu Bei) for the weekend with some of my akido friends. We got there by a rented coach so the whole trip was quite fun except the fact that the long hours in the coach that we rented cause my butt to be flattened by the sit.

The third week was NDP at the Singapore embassy in Beijing on Sunday. So after church a few of us hanged out at Solana shopping centre near the church and was there till its time for ethe embassy and of course we bought clothes and other stuff. The NDP was fun. I think nearly al the Singaporeans in the class turned up except for a couple and the classed hyped it till a level that it was the highlight of the week and the must do event on the list. There was a wide spread selection of free food, buffet style, hainanese chicken rice, laksa, sushi, dessert, ba ku tei and a lot of other stuff and just taking a little of everything was beyond filling already. We weren’t really focused on the parade till the later half and were mostly busy taking photos, eating and mingling among ourselves mainly. We did make some acquaintances of important people who were all very nice to us, probably cause we are all Singaporeans and to them, we are just youngsters who can help add more life to the night and sure did we do just that. We took the pledge at 8.22 and were all high after the parade was over…high on oxygen?? As a whole big gang we were all singing the familiar national songs over and over again and in that moment, there seem as if there was no end to it. I do like singing some of the older national day songs but I think i never felt so happy and excited singing the national day songs and I think I might not be the only one. Well, it was really a night to remember, not knowing if we will ever be in an embassy for national day, much less to mention the Beijing embassy in particular. Another precious memory added to the the first year in Beijing.

The 4th week’s sat, mei xiu and I went to the pearl market as she hasn’t been there yet and I bought a fake phone that looked quite real. The real phone was 4000+. The fake one was either 800 or 700 but I bargain till 370 which included a screen protector and a hp cover. Then I got the sales person to help me stick the protector on for free (sometimes they charge a fee for sticking service) and as she was not very good at sticking it, she stick the first one wrongly and had to waste anther screen protector for me….hehehe.

The 5th weekend’s sat, Saturday was gone to helping a friend do a photo shoot which took up the whole day and left me exhausted and running on reserves. Then on Sunday, we went to a Singaporean’s house, a lady the class befriended at the Singapore embassy and we were at her place on sun afternoon to discuss how to shoot a Ch U programe which will feature how Singaporeans settle their food in Beijing and the shoot was for the following week. After the discussion the lady brought us to Lao Ba Sat ( Old Market) which was actually a restaurant that have a little reminder of Singapore old coffee shop settings and other Singapore photos hanging on the wall and was opened by a Singaporean selling singpaore food. So we order like a little of everything, mee siam, curry chicken, laksa, hokkien mee, small bowl noodle, curry puff, teh-c etc etc, passing the bowls around and every one taking a little of everything and we were still all very full. Then we walked slightly further down to the newly opened swensens for ice cream. The durian ice cream was terrific and it had real durian inside. I also ardered my favourite cloit-tower, I always have a thing for swensens and it reminds me of home and family so much. A week later, we found out that the food at swensens was less than satisfactory and was glad we only at ice cream there that night. The swensens also served other Singaporean local dishes.

The 6th weekend was distinguished by the shoot on Saturday morning . some of us got there by 8 to go to the market at san yuan bridge or other places near by to buy the ingredients and stuff and then everyone came back to the lady’s house to squeeze in the kitchen to cook. Well, the nice side which I think was on the top of the list for some of them was to be seen on TV but I wasn’t really there for that. Well, at least I have been on TV and radio stations before so it was more like, there will big quite a no. of classmates who will be engage in the activity that’s why I joined them and then just help here and there. I was suppose to do yu sheng but the TV crew brought it from Singapore already, so I just helped with the second main, which was bee hoon. It was reall a geast, there was bee hoon, kueh sala, hainanese chicken rice, sphagettie, sushi, thai curry, bbq chicken wings, mo-mo-cha-cha, cheng-teng, luo-ba, yam paste, 9 layer cake and other stuff. The shoot went pretty well and we took photos with the crew too and the whole experience was quite nice. We ate till we were bloated and could not stomach more. At night we went to “The place” and it was quite nice to be there again. The first time I was there was last winter with a friend and his friends at a wine cellar which had pretty nice settings. The autumn version of the shopping centre was full of life and joy, with families and kids playing “UFO” (a saucer balloon thrown into the air to play fetch), and the Large LCD over head that spans the whole central ground floor was showing sms wishes for the Chinese valentine. We hanged around there till the propaganda-like video which marks the 60yrs anniversary of PRC was played and though I am not Chinese and not pro their politics here, but watching the video which outlines the progress of China, it was a quite a well-done put up.

Then had another shoot on Sunday..my friend was late and I had to wait for her at the starbucks in village and should I maybe, based on my experience…is starbucks Beijing a place to get hit at or a place nice to hit people? Well, there was this afro American guy who came and took the sofa seat opposite mine and was introducing himself etc and I think he thought we were on a match-make session or a SDU session?? Partially because he is afro American and also because I think he English foundation wasn’t really well, I wasn’t too sure if he was telling me that he is goin back to the US for hole in December or asking me along with him. He was totally weird, telling me when he wants to get married, how many kids he wants to have, that he is sincere about being friends with me etc etc and it was weird caz when there was no conversation going on, he won’t leave the table. I was like sms-ing my friend calling her to come to my rescue asap but she was stranded in a not so far but not so near place and couldn’t get hold of a cab to come over. The guy left a few mins before she arrived. The shoot was pretty long and soon, in a blink of the eye and the weekend was over…..

So u see….everyweek actually pass quite fast and I am only sharing what I had on the wkends caz weekdays is mostly hospital work though I must say that there are a lot of other stuff here and there so everyday is filled

qing dao

2009-07-15T13:02:00.002+08:00

Actually the thought of going to Qing dao was initiated when a few of my classmates went to Qing dao separately and that there is the Beach there. So when people think of qing dao they
usually think of the beach and of course the Qing dao beer.

Day 1: started out cool, then rain/drizzle, night heavy rain

Arrived at about 8 am. Checked into some random “hotel” opposite the train station and signed on for a one day 崂山 tour. The tour bus also brought us to some Qing dao Olympic hall, tea place, pearls/jewelry place, seafood produce factory etc. back to hotel at abt 5 then went to buy the train tix back to Beijing. Bought the earliest train tix I could to get back to Beijing but still cabbed to the Air China building to check out the air tix back. Asked the cab driver what’s there to do at night, he said night market(but it was raining) and probably clubs and he said a lot of youngsters went to this pub called Feeling. After checking out the expansive train tix, I had my first proper meal of the day(noodles) and then went to check out the pub. They had someone singing Chinese songs from 930-10 before they play mainly English music like in a club.
I must say that the view was fantastic. The tour had a shuttle bus to bring us to some midpoint og the mountain before we cable car up to 700m and then continue climbing to the Li gate and Kan gate of the mountain. on the way up, in the shuttle bus, there were a lot of stone carvings and sculptures of the various famous Taoist as the mountain was the birth place of one of the 3 major divisions of Taoism. The tour guide explained the story of each of them as we passed but I was just hearing and not listening. The whole story telling just made me feel that the whole China culture and history, its philosophy etc is really博大精深. For a while there will be parts of the mountain or your view that has been blocked but the fog and a few moments later, the drizzle might stop the the fog clear for a while and the view was beyond fantastic. I was thinking to myself, even if you weren’t a xian or “god”, at the view, you must have thought that you have entered the third dimension :P The climb up was really tiring and it was really steep, challenging but the view at the top was more than worth it. Amazed by the beauty of this world, of what nature has in its full natural beauty. Dvds and vcds of travel, showing nature and other natural landscapes are often popular for some of the scenic are not easily accessible by the average man and thus they are often popular, especially among the elderly who would wish to travel but are unable to due to various reasons. Here I am, in CHINA , one of the most popular selections to view nature and its wonders, people buy the vcds to see it but here I am being at the place itself, nature’s full glory right before my eyes and within my reach, breathing in the mountain fresh air, feeling the caress of the drizzle, refreshed but the cool wind that clears your head of everything. You really have to be there to feel it yourself, all other means, be it video, pictures, words all fail to express the feel and the view in the most apt way.

But I was seriously freaking tired the whole day. The previous night didn’t sleep well as I needed to burn the midnight oil and have poor quality sleep due to the exam. Then night before didn’t sleep well as the train tix I bought was “hard seat” for part of the journey and the “stand” the remaining half of the journey(tho the rightful owner of the sit let me have the seat after a few hours and he stood instead), but it was very noisy and pretty packed and definitely no proper rest. So I was like falling asleep In the coach when it fetched us from one place to another. Went to the club at night but I knowing that going to the dance floor was “dangerous” so I only enjoyed my 5 bottles of qing dao and pop corn at my seat. The music was not bad but I caught myself falling asleep twice for more than half a second then I decided to head back to the hotel. Based on the weather forecast for Sunday and that Saturday night was raining like crazy, I seriously thought that Sunday was going to be a goner and just rain the whole day.

Sunday: weather was terrific! Bright, sunny and not too hot.

Went to check out the beach no. 6(which is just behind my hotel) and beach no. 2 aka Shi Lao Ren which was recommended by a few websites. Went to the Qing dao beer museum based on word of recommendation by the tour guide. Went back to hotel to change and put down some stuff. Then went to check out the Zhan Bridge which was also walking distance from my hotel too and watched the sunset from there. Had dinner then went to the night market and went since it was the last night in qing dao, decided to check out the lights and sounds and find a place to have a drink and have some nice music. Went back to the road that I was at tht previous night since there was suppose to be more pubs there and randomly saw and went into a pub called Club New York, where there was Filipino band which has been there for 2-3 years and the Filipinos never fail to impress with their voices. I didn’t really wanted to dance but there was this local lady who chio me so we went to the dance floor and within my expectation there was “trouble”. Weird middle aged China men trying to befriend me and buy me drinks and really cant dance at all. But the table of Russians beside their table were more interesting :P

The beach was really interesting. Mention the beach to anyone in my class and we would all think of bikini, sun tan, lazing by the beach like, the idea of bali or phhuket would come to mind then its really 入乡随俗, you got to adapt to the ways of the local people. There was hardly any bikini in sight, guys will sometimes be in trunks or bermuders, girls in not-so-pretty swim suits or 2 piece or they will be dressed in shirts and shorts and be holding an umbrella. No one was sun taning but all just playing with water etc or in tents or just standing or walking about. So although I was wearing a bikini inside, I only removed my top to take photos and of course it attracted some attention and I wore my top back again.

Travelling in qing dao was ok, as you can always get cabs but or ask for direction from the locals but sometimes their accent was kind of heavy and I just have to pretend I knew what they were talking about and then walked a little further off before asking other people for confirmation on the directions I was previously given.

Watching the sun set at the Zhan Bridge was good. Then I the poem by 李商隐
向晚意不适
驱车登古原。
夕阳无限好，
只是近黄昏。
Again, the chilly wind from the sea-land direction, sitting at the bridge, watching the sun set, watching people busy themselves taking photos and listening in to some of thei conversation, I must say that the whole experience was totally relaxing, soothing and it felt good and free. There was a kind of unmatched peace in the heart too.

The night club was pretty fun. Like I was saying I think that Filipinos always sing well and I thought it was a good combination to have a Chinese club on the first night and a more “ang moh” club on the second night where about 30-40% of the patrons were Caucasians. They sang old school, 80s, 90s, and a few others, English, Spanish, Russian. I really did enjoy myself there. But the middle-aged Chinese man was kind of irritating. It was fine by me if he wanted to buy me drinks and of caz I was remotely nice enough to talk to him a little but he wet my jeans! The first was when I was talking to the Russian and he wanted to join in the conversation but was a bit high and knocked into the Russian instead and caused the Russian’s martini to spill onto my jeans. Later on, when he wanted to cheers the beer with me, he suddenly lost his grip on his mug of beer and it spilled onto the table and “kana” my jeans again. It was really annoying. Then because I don’t have extra jeans, I had to wear the dirty jeans the next day on my train back to Beijing. Damn!

Well, I learnt more about myself or maybe I should say some obvious facts about myself during the trip? Well, I know I am not the people kind of person and prefer to have own time, space and target, I guess that was the best part about travelling alone. what time to wake, what and when to eat, when to go where, to stay for how long, last minute changes, it’s really free and easy! I must say Freedom is the most important asset a person can have. I also learnt that I can be rash, like how this trip went about and the fact that many a times when I have already made my decision, I will be very tempted to go make a survey of opinions about the situation, hoping to get some reassurance from the survey results but really, actually, sometimes, it really doesn’t matter does it? Then I also learnt that I really do like a drink and nice music at night to chill. Although some people say that I have a chiongster face and I would say that I am capable of chionging if I want to and am able to hold quite an amount of alcohol, I would like to do so sometimes but would actually much more prefer drinks and nice music, usually from a live band.
I must say that I have been very blessed throughout the trip as there can be countless opportunities for danger to happen or to meet with not so nice people but I would say that all the random few individuals I met were all generally nice in a way and I am back in Beijing in one piece safe and sound. The whole free and impromptu or little planning involved kind of trip was really fun and thrilling but I am also aware of the dangers involved, that’s why I sometimes quoted I was from hai nan. But there was once this guy was saying that Hainan was nice and asked where was fun and I obviously didn’t know where. So I was like “actually being a local, the places would all seem normal to me cause I am a local. I won’t know where to start cause they will only seem special to tourist” It was really nice travelling alone, I am not a very people person so I don’t really to mingling and making friends everywhere but I still do a little every now and then. But the only irritating part was that you would always need to engage strangers help to take photos of u and the place, during which u would have to choose someone who might be able to take a good photo and not run away with your camera. And obviously, I learnt to live with and by myself better.

RAIN

2009-07-05T17:14:00.001+08:00

Rain……

What does it mean and symbolize?

To farmers, traditional farming, it means there is hope for their crop…

The rain washes the dirt of the street….all is brand new to start again….symbolic in a way…

In soap operas, rain suggests the change of mood and atmosphere into one whereby the heavens are crying out for injustice or sometimes suggest more darkness is to follow that night….

Rain means bad news for those who are eager to wash their clothes and/or cars and sometimes it means their efforts have been wasted…..

To some it creates the chance and the settings to laze at home in bed and call it a off day at work..

To some it means there will be lesser customers today…

To some it reminds them of the last time they shared umbrellas with another or when another had come to their rescue with umbrellas or .when they have last walk in the rain with someone…

To some it means trouble in trying to get home….

To some it means they need to be on the lookout for floods whether major or minor….

To some it means the day's activities needs to be severely changed…

Yet again…was it the rain or was it us?.........

2009-07-03T16:49:00.001+08:00

Just as you were feeling down and lonely
An angel came to me flying
Could not imagine someone like you
In Beijing all alone, tearful and crying

No one knows how hurt you’ve been
The brain can’t heal what the heart had seen
How the heart numbs the body and soul
Inside it makes you feel so old
Alone inside, the feeling’s cold

Just when you thought all you’ll feel is frost
In the chapel, you’ll find not all hope is lost
Night comes, you’ll start to pray
Hoping the Lord will wipe your tears away
Until the Lord shines you a road
I’ll be your friend, to lighten your load

A poem by my friend......thanks Jeffrey

2009-07-03T00:21:00.001+08:00

“I think of you often and make no outward show, but what it means to lose you, no one will ever know. You wished no one farewell, not even said good-bye; you were gone before I knew it, and only God knows why. You are not forgotten nor will you ever be, as long as life and memories last, I will remember thee.”

“To some you may be forgotten, to others a part of the past, but to me who loved you dearly, your memories will always last. Nothing can be more beautiful than the memories I have of you. To me, you were someone special; God must have thought so too! If tears could build a staircase and memories a lane, I would walk all the way to heaven, and bring you back again.”

"I promised you my heart and soul forever. For it was not into my ear you whispered, but into my heart. It was not my lips you kissed, but my soul. Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength; loving someone deeply gives you courage."

"Nunc scio quit sit amor."(Translated from Latin, means; "Now I know what love is.”)

“I love you my darling, always and forever. This is my promise to you!”

“Ever has it been that love knows not its own depth until the hour of separation. Death ends a life, not a relationship. I love you my darling. With every last breath in my body and blood in my veins, I will love and protect you always. My promise to you is forever.”

from http://thestjohnlady.blogspot.com/2009/05/sad-farewell-to-true-legend_05.html?zx=78366087f8704379

nice right?

2009-07-01T19:42:00.002+08:00

actually this is a cut n paste from my chinese blog entry a couple of months back.....

i think there are a lot of interesting stories i get to hear or experience in beijing but just havent got the time to blog n share abt it yet.....will write soon....i hope

比如说见习的时候，在医院跟医生查房的时候，或老师上课的时候提到自己的经验能学到或听到很多有趣的东西。有一个七十多岁的老人，抽了一辈子的烟（六十年的烟），两年前在公园的一个戒烟活动上决定戒烟，说“烟可以不抽，饭不可以不吃”。他是因为心动脉硬化而心绞痛半夜入院，做了搭桥手术。跟他提起该把他每天两杯低浓度的白酒戒掉，他说“酒可以不喝，饭不可以不吃”。

老师说很多时候劝那些年轻小伙子或中年人为了身体健康戒烟什么的，他们都不肯，像是看破红尘的说什么人谁无死，该抽的烟就抽，该喝的酒就喝，而往往等到他们心绞痛，感觉到心慌的时候（有一种要死的感觉），他们之后都变成小绵羊，非常听医生的话，有过于而无不及。

Being Still

2009-06-30T00:23:00.001+08:00

Been feeling kinda vexed lately. Stress from school and from personal problems, and I guess a lot of people out there can relate to it as u were once a student or u don't exactly need to be of a specific role in order to know what stress feels like and what it can do to you. Different people react to stress differently. Sure there are different levels of stress and since it is an emotion generated by the psychological pressures from all over the place, it is really hard to measure and dangerous to label one's stress as more or less than the other person. Many people also take it out differently, maybe exercise, mediation, drinking, indulging in their hobby of gardening, singing etc. There really isn't a one package fits all, agree? So I am just going to discuss from the angle of releasing stress or finding release in religion. Well, I am a Christian by the way but probably I guess there might be some little things here and there that u may agree with me….

Well, lately I have been stressed, stress from personal problems and exams mainly and others and it can be kind of tiring, cause anxiety attacks and can really be driving me up the wall sometimes. Sometimes it feels like there is so much being piled on, and then u are struggling to stay afloat, and there maybe other pressures that make u doubt about the future or the immediate future, then as a Christian, sometimes we get the advice Psalms 46:10 "Be still and know that I am God"…so I was thinking what is the idea of being still? The story of Jesus calming the Storm Mark 4:35-40 comes to mind….how to be still when the boat is in a storm but the Christ calmed it and when I read it sometimes, I will think about the redundant struggle we so often put forth…..

Its like swimming. If you have a bad cramp while swimming or are a non-swimmer and are thrown into a pool or even open water, i guess everyone's first reaction is to panic and struggle in the water. Not many people know or at least can remember at that first instant, that the right thing to do first is to actually just try to stop struggling and lie still on the surface of water and wait for help to come. Well, if u keep struggle, u are wasting energy, moving the molecules of water away from you and "digging" more space for u to be part of the water body and then the worst part is when somebody comes and save you, there will be unnecessary struggle and will make the whole rescuing process even more tiring and difficult to carry out. You get where I am coming from?

I think many times we struggle on our own unnecessarily, hoping that whatever we do will make it better but a lot of times it doesn't. So we have to commit the issues into God's hands and then stop struggling and wait on him. It's not asking u to totally not do anything but to do to ur best and then leave the rest to God. Don't struggle in the water but be still…..I know its difficult caz I always fluctuate between the 2 too but we need to learn to lean on God…..

Eagles are different…they soar…relying on the under wind…not like normal birds which flap all the way……

restarting blogging

2009-06-25T09:08:00.003+08:00

Well….i am reviving my blog after so very very long time…let's have some quick short updates first:

November: Actually I can't remember…I guess it was mainly schl and hospital and other stuff bah….

December: Had been keeping in contact with a guy I met at my licqour promotion job and met up when he came to beijing in mid dec for holiday. It was pretty spontanous and fun.Then there was the BICF (Beijing International Chrisian Fellowship) X'mas dinner which I invited meixiu and Hu gang, it was fun to dress and doll both mx and I up…hehe…changed bf in late June to that guy who came to beijing to spent the new year with me too

January: Final Exams. Travel back to Singapore for my 5 wk CNY break. Flew by Air china which was quite pissing since they delayed my flight by 3 hours…..i really hate waiting by myself in the airport and I really miss the free internet access in Changi airport caz there isn't any free internet in Beijing's T3 Airport..not even in their starbucks!!!

Feb: During the 5 wks back in singapore went phuket and jakarta w my bf. Well…don’t know if I ever mention this but I like to be there to feel and witness the messiness of pubs and clubs but I don’t really engage in the messiness. Sure I do know how to drink and there are times when I go clubbing with my friends sometimes but I like to go see and observe more….if the company is right then I guess can take it to another step n drink and have some fun dancing….return to beijing in late feb for the on-set of second semester…time table is better this semester…at least there are obvious pack parts and obvious slack parts in the time table vs the 1st semester which was more of jam pack all the way..like trying to squeeze us dry

Mar: Finally my gym is reopened after renovation…now I can try to work my fats off!!

April: He came to look for me during my bday/the Qing Ming hols in china and we went Shanghai. It rained the whole of the first day which was quite upsetting but in the whole trip I think the most exacting part would be the Shanghai World Financial Centre…the tallest building as of right now…at least until the taller Shanghai towers which is still in the building process beside it comes up. Oh ya, it was also my first time traveling by the China train. Then there was a night when Qiu Yu, Mx and us went ktv..it was really fun and I thought I am quite old choosing all the old songs but QY and MX could actually come up with even older songs..those that u can only remember the chorus caz maybe u heard ur parents listtening to it before. Generally speaking, April was really good

May: a couple of papers in this month. Took up akido classes in my gym and now my additional new goal is to get 3 black belts and will be working on akido first..tho I think I might stop after akido and judo…caz my friend who is into akido always have bruises here and there. Then there was the duan wu fesstival which a lot of my classmates went to inner mongolia…was a little tempted but in the end decided that I shld take time to recharge before the full force n more pack june come by but the other person did not understand. Tho I felt a littl low that most of my classmates are travelling but inner mongolia wasn't somewhere I wanted to go…at least not et and plus I already spent $ on akido. Was thinking that if I were to spend $ on akido or go travelling, I wld rather spend it on akido caz it’s a skill and something that is easier to learn when u are younger, inner mongolia can wait till next time….no rush into it. My house got broken into but with minimal tell tale signs and some cash was lost. We changed the locks again after that.

2008-11-30T15:51:00.001+08:00

Making a quickie post…..

Well, about a week has pasted since I last update…

Mon: the 中医内科mid-term test…well, it wasn’t as bad as I think it would be but I not too sure if I have written enuf to make the mark…it’s really amazing caz I was pretty much just reading and memorizing on and off but just kept reading and reading and reading and was really scared that there wont be enuf to be in my head to ans the questions. I made several heartfelt prayer and I want to give Thanks to the Lord for it was answered and I should think that the test would be ok. Then that night, I didn’t go out but went home and was at a total lost as to what to do. Caz been studying a lot and suddenly there is nothing to do although I know I can start studying for the acupuncture test on the following mon or write the patient records that we were suppose to prepare. But I was really feeling neither here nor there and I totally wasted 4 hours doing nothing, stoning…listening to music.

But there was a unsettling issue that day too. As I was stoning, I felt my room door open n I would be able to see directly into part of the kitchen n while I was stoning, I realized that there was someone else in the kitchen besides who should be in the kitchen, so I went over to check it out and to my not so pleasant surprise, wan jing was there and so was serene, Karen and junju. They were like”you didn’t know someone came in?” and wan jing still seems engrossed in her quite murmuring and I didn’t really respond and serene then started to push the kitchen door close. And I returned to my room. Then much later, when I wanted to go to the toilet, which was just adjacent to the kitchen, wan jing seems to be complaining to Karen in the kitchen about something and there was only the teo of them. When Karen saw me pass by, she leaned over to close the door…

Damn!!!I was F****ing irritated. I don’t like people closing their doors as if to hide something from me or as if there was some counsel meeting and indeed they were hiding something as wanjing was murmuring stuff about meixiu. PISSED again! I hate people saying bad things about my friends and what’s more is that it was not done very secretly. F***ing irritating!

I eventually on the next day left serene and Karen online messages that if wanjing was to come they can tel me in advance because I don’t like people talking then wrongs of my friends in my household. If I could, I would have just told them that I don’t think wanjing is invited to the house anymore

Because of past issues, we have all decided that our house belong the the 5 of us only and if we were to bring home anyone even if classmate we were to get the permission of the rest but this was not the first time I am seeing wanjing in the house and after this incident, I have definitely blacklisted her.

The rest of the week was nothing much…well, studying for the accunpunture test…although I have gradually equipped my room to the way I like it so that I can go home after schl, the idea that wan jing might come over again was really irritatingly troubling so I went to starbucks on a couple of evenings instead

2008-11-22T09:21:00.001+08:00

知道自己来北京干嘛。

认识我的人都知道一部分的原因是因为我男朋友是北京人。可惜的是他现在无法在我身边
当然也有对这两科目的喜欢，可是得读五年的书，比我们那的人多一年就拿多一个文凭，听起来还过得去吧。

星期一又要有考试了。
如果是为了知识而读书应该那该多好啊。免了考试的压力
也不知道从什么时候开始（是到北京读后吗），才真的认识到压力大了能变成没感觉。
是知道有压力也是于事无补吗？
还是是麻木了？

老看书，上面的道理都很明白，可是就是背不进
是脑子漏洞吗？
还是有别的事懊恼着？
压力过渡？
很多时候都是读到一半就愣住
那些读进了，那些还不知道，我也不知道
反复的看有用吗？
我不可能一直重考吧

除了累还是累。是睡得不好不够吗？还是精神上的累？还是为很多的东西懊恼而成？

昨天见习时，老师帮我扳了整个脊柱，声音响亮得有些怕人。尽量保持别活动太大但还是不行，动的时候还是会不小心发出声音。累

2008-10-29T00:07:00.001+08:00

22 oct wed:

This is one of the longest day of my life. To begin with, I clocked 22 hours of waking time in this very session, within the perimeters of 22 oct, not to mention that I didn’t turn in early either on the night or should I say 23’s morning?

Well, the next day was the exams and there was still so much yet to be covered. I have been reading and it is not fast enough even when towards the end of the revision course I only concentrated on the things that the teachers super-highlighted for the test. Although I know that sleep is really important but I haven’t even read a large portion of the important parts and so going to sleep will def make me feel guilty. So I went on and on…really getting rather tired and hungry as it draws towards 4am.

At about 430am, I heard/saw (my door is translucdent) someone going into the living room and there was the noise from the kitchen. And there was wanhui in the kitchen preparing some vege soup, and as I pass by her room, I saw that serene was still awake. After I checked wanhui out in the kitchen, jinju came out of her room to do check out and then I saw that Karen also hasn’t turned in yet. So actually at 430 am the whole house hasn’t turned in yet. Cool right? Well, in the end I made myself instant bowl noodle. And fell asleep at about 530.

Rise and shine at 7am. Took the exam and it was terrible. The open-ended questions…I didn’t really know any of the answers or did not know how to write it. There is a section “explain the following terms” but I couldn’t, well, not in the written way. One of the questions asked for the explanation of the appendix and I could explain verbally or physically I know where it is, it’s the outer one third of the this and that but I didn’t really know how to put it into formal words with all the technical terms etc. And yes there were questions, I really didn’t know the ans to. After the paper, when I saw meixiu, I was like, “我们为什么做了无谓的挣扎？！”(why did we struggle redundantly? ) mexiu actually didn’t sleep the whole of the night before.

Poor us, we only had a couple of hours of rest before we had lessons continued in the afternoon. After that meixiu and I went to xidan. I wanted to go play house of the dead 4 in the arcade and she wanted to buy a pair of boots. We had sizzler for dinner after spotting its signboard outside one of the shopping centres. Well, we went into the restaurant, was shown a table and given a menu. Then in the menu, there was a special stand alone brochure for their ladies night special and I didn’t really bother about it and meixiu took it out of her menu and also removed mine, saying we don’t need this as it wasn’t Wednesday. I agreed. So we went on to look at all the other stuff and called the waitress to place our order. Then we placed our order and the waitress picked up the ladies night special brochure, recommending to us the offer and we were like “yeah, we know but it is not Wednesday today.” “it’s Wednesday today” ”it’s really Wednesday today?”meixiu and I looked at each other and exclaimed, “oh yeah it’s Wednesday” we were laughing at ourselves and the waitress was also rather amused. So ordered the ladies night spcial instead. Well, you see, technically speaking we should know that it was Wednesday as we stressed and mugged towards Wednesday’s paper. We had the whole of Monday and Tuesday for self revision and didn’t go to school, so for a moment or actually for a very long moment we both thought the lat 2 days was the weekend and that it was only Monday then. LOL…………….

Sizzler was really filling but the portions were really small. You see, there is a free flow salad bar with cream of mushroom soup, salad, crackers etc that was feeling. Then the portions of the main coure were really small. But the overall summation, I think that was the best meal I had in several days. Then we went to the arcade for a game or 2 then we quickly bought a pair of white boots for meixiu as it was already closing. The white boots was really timely as she was wearing flip flops and when we exited the building, it was raining and windy outside, so it was really a rescue.

Then on our way back on the train, she was really dead tired and I was just stoning, not really tired but I wasn’t really paying attention and so we missed the station which we were supposed to change train. Well, we only realized when we were on our way to the station after the station that we were suppose to change at. And so we took the train back to change the train.
Nothing much after……………..

23 oct thurs & 24 oct fri:

Nothing special that I could remember.

Meixiu and I nearly went out on thurs but in the end the plan was called off.
It was really tempting not to go to starbucks since I was there the most of the past one week and the house was really getting cold….

25 oct sat:

Well. There was a group of classmate who wanted to go to fragrant hills to se the red leaves of winter and climb the hill etc and serene and jinju went too. I was kinda tempted to wana tag along but they were going to meet at the mrt station at a crazy 530 am and my bf was saying how crazy they are to want to go to the fragrant hills with such weather, the weather is turning cold and it was rather windy, so it would be even more cold and windy on the hills. I was glad I didn’t join them in the end…they were tired and some had frost bites/blister, no point tiring yourselves when you cant even get to the purpose of seeing the red leaves and have to put yourself through so much torture.

Then there was Karen and wanhui who went to 木须园 which is the distributor of the distributors of the 动物园area. I suppose they bought stuff but I can’t be bothered to ask really. One, I don’t really fancy such stuff. Two, I might very likely get axed there.

Well, my initial plan was to go over to my bf’s place for dinner but his sis sms me to go over for lunch at their place for 刷羊肉. So I went and his sis’s bf was also asked to come over for dinner too. There was only 4 of us, his mum, his sis, the sis’s bf and I. it was really filling and the father only came home towards the end and his voice sounded hoarse but it was actually because he had too much drinks in the last few days. He had just returned from the 5th wedding lunch in 2 days, drinking at every session of course.

During lunch, I was asking the sis if she had any work late and she didn’t and we wanted to see if we could go somewhere. After lunch, we were all so full, we all fell asleep and call off the plans. I was the worse. i fell asleep in the living room with his sis and half way through, his sis asked me to go to my bf’s room to sleep which I did and by the time I woke, it was already 7pm in the evening. Diner was ready, my bf’s dad cooked the beef which he was best at and it was the same few of us, including the dad and the sis’s bf. After dinner, the sis was asking if I want to watch some scary shows online with her and of course I was “on” about it. So much later into the night, after I bathed and she was ready, we went online to watch咒怨then I realized that it was actually Ju-on. we watched Ju on 1. Well, I watched all 3 before ut it was all parts here and there and so I didn’t mind watching it from the start again. But the sis was really freaked….

I think it’s either the family really like me, the love me or they just give in to me or something? They always treat me as part of them and I really like being at my bf’s place. I certainly sleep better when I am there to, in terms of quality and quantity too. Actually during dinner, I was really sad that my bf wasn’t there to eat with us. He was the only missing piece…sigh….

26 oct sun

Left my bf’s place rather early in the morning to rush to si hui mrt station to meet my other classmates to go to some private, newly startup church and it was really a startup as it was actually in someone’s house?!

Then I rushed back home to put all my stuff before meeting mexiu to go to 女人街(ladies street). Well, it wasn’t as nice and as big as we thought it would be. Wel, we heard that there was such a place and the name alone sounds like there might be quite a bit of shopping there. But it was only a short lane with shops at the side. Then there was a shopping centre that was underground concept. As in the shopping centre only have levels 1, B1 and B2. In terms of floor area, it was rather big and there were quite a lot of shops but it was pretty warmth and there wasn’t much of shoppers around, til the point that you wonder how do these shops actually survive and we were there on a Sunday afternoon. Well, we both bought a few stuff each, I shan’t elaborate except that I got a pair of 3 inch stiletto black boots that can be worn to above and over the knee. I really liked it. But the amount of shops was disappointing as the volume won’t be able to satisfy the shopping desire of women.

Well, at night when I was on the phone with my bf and told him I bought the pair of boots. He asked if I can wear it. Of course I can. Well, I think there is a need for me to have a high heel boots that I like :P

喜欢上北京

2008-10-22T01:56:00.001+08:00

娇生惯养的我，从没出过远门，两年前却一人跑北京找你。

怕你日后在我们那找不到工得回北京，也为了看能否适应北京的生活，才跑到北京上两年的学。

阴差阳错，现在我已经在北京你却在我们那公干，心情真的是。。。（没办法、不舍得也得舍得）。。

原本“陪你”是主要，“学习”是次要。。。你却不在这儿让我陪。。。

“学习”嘛。。我可以在我们那学，不必跑到六个小时的飞机程的北京。。。现在的学着认了呗

我想我能喜欢上北京吧，可是你不在身边就变得难了些。。。。

2008-10-20T22:20:00.002+08:00

20th oct, Monday:

Didn’t think I would meet any tho I heard the other girls having met such weirdos every now and then. Well, maybe I should start with yesterday….

Yesterday

Being Sunday, went to church in the morning and for the first time we were not late and in fact we were earlier than Marietta. So went church and all and on our way back, serene was saying how wan hui and san mei met people who wanted to befriend them. For wan hui, it was the one of the workers at the gym who sms her that night to say keep in contact, getting her no. via membership records. San mei was when she was out buying flowers among other groceries, she actually met the same person on 2 separate occasion who was trying to be friendly and even offered to pay for the stuff she bought. So I was thinking…really huh…weird…

Then in the afternoon I had a short afternoon nap immediately after lunch and headed to starbucks to study. Starbucks was more crowded then usual and after I settled in for a while, there was a guy who wanted to share table w me as he needed to share the power point. Many hours into sharing the same table, he was making comments like “you are a medical student?” well, towards the end, he asked if I was using msn, seeing that I was constantly typing. I gave as I didn’t think anything of msn and within the first 3 lines he asked if wana get supper together after starbucks but I was meeting hu gang for dinner. I rejected obviously, then he was saying make an appointment before heading coming to starbucks next time n immediately, sent me his hp no.. You must be kidding me! Nothing came out of it of caz caz v shortly hu gang was done w work and I left for dinner.

Today

As usual, I am at my starbucks from the afternoon onwards. Progress in studying at home is really slow and I needed starbucks. So here I am in starbucks, all day from 1pm after I have gotten lunch somewhere else. I must say that my luck today wasn’t so good yet as for the first time in my life I actually slipped a starbucks drink when it was still about ¾ full. Luckily didn’t kana my laptop, only a little on my shoes and likely I was wearing the dark colour shoe today so it ain’t so obvious.

Then many hours, actually, barely half an hour before I am typing this blog, at about 9plus, there was this weird customer that came over from his table and sat at the arm rest of the sofa-chair I was seated at. I was actually trying to msn w serene then. Then he tred to create conversation and asked if I was a medical student, the obvious question as I am studying. then he was like asking if he could buy me a drink, I said I have had enough coffee for the day. Then he asked if I was local, I said maybe. He asked if I was foreigner as I sound different, I said maybe. He asked if I stayed around the area, I said maybe. Then I asked if there was anything I could help him, he said nothing. Then he still sat there. And I repeated myself and he said nothing and then he asked if he was disturbing me. I said yes. Then he returns to his place and I continue looking at my stuff and while I was blogging this entry, he came over again and pulled a chair to my seat. Obviously, I was listening to my itunes on my laptop and typing away. Then he asked if I could spare a couple of minutes. I asked if there is anything. He asked if he could get to know me, I said no. He then quietly moved away and left starbucks. Yeah!!!

I hate it most when guys try to befriend me and I would always want to embarrass them or slap their offer back into their face. Well, it’s not as if it is a club or I really know u know u kind of thing. I tell you, if he were to really insist and buy me a drink, I would show him in his face that I would drop it into the dustbin immediately! Bastards!

2008-10-19T20:12:00.002+08:00

Seasons of Love

I really love this song. Well, it ain't a new song and I have been liking it for a long time.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Q8YbgLRLG0

Lyrics

Five hundred twenty-five thousand
Six hundred minutes,
Five hundred twenty-five thousand
Moments so dear.
Five hundred twenty-five thousand
Six hundred minutes
How do you measure, measure a year?

In daylights, in sunsets, in midnights
In cups of coffee
In inches, in miles, in laughter, in strife.

In five hundred twenty-five thousand
Six hundred minutes
How do you measure
A year in the life?

How about love?
How about love?
How about love? Measure in love

Seasons of love. Seasons of love

HOMELESS WOMAN
Five hundred twenty-five thousand
Six hundred minutes!
Five hundred twenty-five thousand
Journeys to plan.

Five hundred twenty-five thousand
Six hundred minutes
How do you measure the life
Of a woman or a man?

COLLINS
In truths that she learned,
Or in times that he cried.
In bridges he burned,
Or the way that she died.

ALL
It's time now to sing out,
Tho' the story never ends
Let's celebrate
Remember a year in the life of friends
Remember the love!
Remember the love!
Seasons of love!

HOMELESS WOMAN (while ALL sing)
Oh you got to got to
Remember the love!
You know that love is a gift from up above
Share love, give love spread love
Measure measure your life in love.

2008-10-18T18:39:00.000+08:00

17th oct Friday:

Well, the night before I really intended to just don’t sleep and just study on. so I was worried that I might fall asleep and so set my alarm to ring at every hour so as to jostle me awake to continue studying should I fall asleep. It wasn’t very useful. But then I of course I know the obvious like whether this would really help significantly especially so when your brain is so stoned from the information overload. Then you also need the sleep before a paper etc etc, I know it all, heard it all, in fact I even tell that to other people. Technically speaking your brain can better absorb the information and digest/grin on the information that you have taken in during the day when you are asleep.

But when you haven’t even pass the stage of reading all the stuff you ought to have memorise, going to sleep makes you feel guilty. Not that I choose not to have read, maybe you can label me as slow, but the language barrier is so great and its best to just memorise it on the first time around. Not to mention when you suffer from information overload, you can’t put anymore in or risk having some dropping out via some small unknown channel.

Today’s paper was really an experience. The 2 sections were printed as 2 separate sets and one of them, the one on the x-ray topic, I totally don’t know all the answers in there save a 5 mark question. It was really terrible. Never had such an experience before! Thought this kind of experience will make time crawl super slow, will make you wana kill yourself in the process but amazingly, time still moves!!! Not that I am glad that it is moving in such a way but it wasn’t as terrible as I have depicted it out to be.

Then after the paper, took time to go so the residential permit and when she insisted I can’t just extend my overdue residential permit and that I bring the apartment’s rental agreement to prove, and the fact that the my other housemates actually just go it done just like that, I was so stressed and pissed that I almost tear. But in the end, I went back to grab the stuff etc etc then finally getit done already:P

Well, the original plan was t come home to sleep in the afternoon but I wasn’t really sleepy by then. To make things worse, the neighbor upstairs was doing some sort of renovation so totally cant sleep. So in the end I watch Lord Of The Rings: Return Of The King extended version that I bought in Singapore but haven’t watched yet. Besides dinner, there asn’t anything much left to mention of the night.

I really like watching LOTR and can watch it many times without feeling sick of it. I think LOTR should be a literature book or something as it os just so fantastic, I didn’t finish reading the book but I really love the 3D feel to every character in the story, even though they my be elves, or half-lings or whatsoever and I think it is really touching at some scenes, shows how people grow after a major incident, especially in the part 3. The honor given to friendship throughout the show, between Fordo and Sam, between Pippin and Merry, between Gimli and Legolas and even generally in the fellowship. I always feel sad watching the last part of the show as it is time to part but knowing that the friend will always have a special place in your heart and is part of your growing up. Its so true to the heart….

Could imagine watching the extended version with denise and I know she hasn’t watch it yet and can blatantly see and hear our comments and gossip about all the additional scenes etc etc…sigh….

2008-10-16T20:47:00.001+08:00

16th october, Thursday:

I think being in my course is really scary. You really don’t know how scared, worried stressed you can get till the point that you can proclaim that it is the scariest exam ever.

I remember doing it quite a few times in the past. The anatomy in year 1, another anatomy in year 2, the pathology in year 3. Especially the last 2 when an enormous, gigantic, load of information is cramped into us as the lecturers are given a scope to cover within the ridiculously limited short no. of hours. They will often tell us how crazy is our schedule and we, on the student end of things, feel even more terrible and demoralized. Then we will be memorizing, some memorizing better than others till the point that we are numb to the thing we are memorizing and our brain just won’t cooperate to make things more difficult.

It’s the same now. History only seems to repeat itself and only gets worse and never better. The text was meant to be covered over 3 months but we are to be done n exmined in 1 month, not to mention to obvious language barrier that everything is in Chinese, all the terminologies. The teachers also complain we have too little time and complain we don’t absorb fast even or don’t revise fast enough. Well, even the teachers teach till the point that their throat is pain, moreover us who are listening and trying to absorb the information as our own. Sad….

I think I am so going to be screwed tomorrow. It really feels terrible to be in such a state and I don’t think it’s funny to say you deserve it. So tempted to just throw in the towel and just try and if not just take the paper again but that would be a waste of the effort that you put in this time round. But the effort put in this time doesn’t seem to be yielding much. Is there something wrong with the equation this time? I lost in the” vexed-ness” of things.

Fortunately and it’s a real blessing to know there is a God that I can rely on…

2008-10-16T20:45:00.000+08:00

15th oct wed:

Well, didn’t blog the last few days as there wasn’t anything much and moreover I wasn’t in starcbuck. Not that I don’t have internet access at home that I only blog at starbucks too but that I think I really like being in starbucks and plugging into the music online or in my computer.
This afternoon n tomorrow is off for us as there will be exams on Friday so I decided that I should come to starbucks least I slack at home and sleep or whatsoever. But the truth is that I am really tired mentally and physically and it is really hard, demoralizing to be forced to memorise so much things in such a short time that most of the time I will actually be studying till the point that I think that I am stoning and I actually fall asleep at my desk yesterday night when I was studying.

I think studying really sucks. It’s stressful that there is so much and nothing seems to be going in even if u were to read it 5 times back to back but the moment you turn the page, tha’s it, you fogot already. I think I have never experience such bad efficiency at studying, moreover its in Chinese and it takes that extra effort to even know what they are talking about.

Well, I don’t suppose there is anything much to say except that I think the weather is really trying its best to kill us by gradually having a bigger gap in temp diff between the day n night, about 22 and 10 or 26 and 10??

I just hope the papers will be over soon. By then I think I will wana stone for a while more since I don’t really know if I would wana rush to the malls and streets and the night markets whatever to do some shopping tho the real motive in going out is that I just want to go out and not really do real real shopping. But then I know I will be super tired as I am already very very tired. It’s hardest in the afternoon and it is only starting, it’s 1.42pm when I write this.

6.35pm:

Well, basically I am surviving on less than 5 hours of sleep everyday and on some days lesser and I think it is the hardest to endure the dread and the tired feeling, the pain in the eyes, the temptation to wave the white flag which all comes only a couple of hours after I have waked and it’s about noon time and slightly after that is the hardest. After that my body just gets used to it. Back to normal momentum or just slightly slower

They always say that those people who know what they want in lives then actually have a specific goat o work towards and they are usually the more successful ones in life? Well, subjectivity of successfulness aside, I wonder if they ever felt their on their journey and if they do what were they thinking? How many failures did they overcome? How did they overcome? Caz I am seriously tired.

2008-10-12T19:59:00.000+08:00

11th oct Saturday: everyday, the temp fluctuates btn 20 to about 10 degree Celsius plus and minus. Walking in the streets last night was so cold that my finger tips hurt from the chill.

I think waking up every day is a grueling experience. Not to mention the fact that it is only human to wana laze slightly longer, sleep-in whatsoever but you must understand that the moment you uncover the blanket it feels really chilly and you would just want to cover back again. Woke up in the late afternoon as I only slept at around 5 the previous night. Well, there wasn’t anything much except going to starbucks to study again.

12th oct, Sunday: fine, 22-10degrees Celsius.

Though I only slept at about 4am plus last night, I woke for church at about 8am. Actually the alarm was ringing from 730 till 8 am and I was in denial from 730 until I finally got out of bed at about 810? Church this morning and we were to take the bus there for a change as the other classmates/friends/believers/sisters in Christ(don’t know what to call them but am definitely glade to know that there are other fellow Christians in the class) said it was much faster that way.

I think it’s our (Serene and I) 3rd time to church and every time, we would meet Marietta to go together and every time we are late. Opps! The bus was crowded but the most amazing thing was that we were all on the same bus, the 3 of us together with the other few classmates who went to the same church. Some of us actually board the bus at different bus stops! Not to mention that the bus comes at a rather high frequency. Amazing right?! We only saw each other on the bus or when we alighted from the bus. It was really pleasant.

Then after church(which was along the road called Liang Ma Qiao) Hu Gang said he was in the area so I went to look for him and he said that he was at the mrt station which was 1 station away from the station nearest to the church(which wasn’t very near to begin with, about 5-10min walk). So I got to the train station, took a train only to be instructed upon arrival to the destination station to walk towards Liang Ma Qiao’s direction after exiting the station. So I asked for directions and walked a couple of mins before seeing he and his friend sitting by the roadside and we walked to take a bus back. The most irritating part of the whole thing was that the bus stop where we took the bus was actually opp the Liang Ma Qiang mrt station! Damn!
The ride home was interesting as the bus we took was a double decker bus and I haven’t been on one yet since I came to Beijing. I have only been on the normal bus or the super long bus type. The double decker had an old feel to it and the upper deck’s ceiling was really low. In Singapore, I can comfortably walk on the double deck but this ceiling was so low, bending my neck only made me face the ground directly and i had to really slouch a lot to walk more comfortably. He bus really felt ancient and riding the bus was pretty fun, like to look out the window and take photos of buildings etc.

After we got back, we went our separate ways and I was off to lunch. Wah, after lunch I was super sleepy that my eyes hurt a lot just by keeping them open! So I rushed home to continue sleeping for 2 hours or so and am now in starbucks…..eyes starting to hurt again…sigh…still so much to cover for the coming exam…..sigh

2008-10-11T21:03:00.003+08:00

Just a thought that came to mind...

Ever thought of where or how the word "tired" came about?

Hmmm...maybe "tired" came from "tried", caz you keep trying so many times that you get tired of trying...hmmm....maybe they are really related?!

Well, but that doesn't mean that we should stop trying caz success only comes to those who never give up but just make sure that whatever u are trying at is worth the shot! Like if you are trying to fly around like superman, or to do something morally wrong then maybe you can stop trying...

Just a though...pls don't quote me....hehe

2008-10-11T19:38:00.001+08:00

9th oct thursday: chilly plus rain equals really cold

Had school the whole day as usual. The school has developed a special plan of counseling teachers for all of us, whereby, we are divided into groups of 4 students to be attached to a teacher who is a doctor at the hospital. Some of them are not just teachers; they can be the president of the hospital, the president of the school, the vice-president of the hospital or the head of some department with credits, projects, papers and external positions that would make your jaw drop. So my teacher is the vice-president of the hospital and is apparently award-winner and some prominent person in TCM research in cerebral conditions, in short, research in TM for brain-related conditions.

So we met the teacher today to have a discussion session with him on topics like stroke and idiotism and this was already the third attempt to meet up for the discussion and it was really scary. I researched online for related data which was rather little as I ahad to register to be member or had to buy the books. It was even scarier when we got to the discussion room. There was our teacher, with 2 other doctors, 3 other students, all of which are under him and we would be having the discussion together. Tho the discussion was just introductory but he wanted us to all comment individually. Scary!! Then he was saying they will all take turns to present on related topics for the first year and next year when we know our stuff better, we have to do the presentation. Super scary!!

Went to mac to save the money spent at starbucks. Caz my bf was nagging at my large expanses and that I should cut back on my expanses. So now the resolution is to only go starbucks on the weekends or when I have the whole day free to make my coffee purchase worth the money.

K then…

10th oct Friday: chily

Went to collect my passport in the morning and then had school in the afternoon.
After school, a couple of my classmates wanted to go drink and buy tea from that shop again so I tagged along and also to buy some tea for my bf’s family in case I go to his place this weekend or something. Cant possibly not bring anything every time right. And I certainly watched the amount of tea I drink in case I were to be drunk on tea again moreover I didn’t have a very filling lunch.

Wanted to go mac or something as it was pretty chilly but decided that I should try to be at home to try how it will be like. So the plan was to bath, make the da hong bao tea I bought for myself and eat grapes. But it was still pretty chilly and had to keep reheating the water bag several times to warm my hands and feet. I tried on-ing the air-con to blow 30 degrees air but I think it helped only superficially. drates...

2008-10-10T01:45:00.001+08:00

8 oct, Wednesday: crazy weather fluctuations

Today has been boring. Went to starbucks since early afternoon as we don’t have Wednesday afternoon classes. Wanted to study and do homework but was so sleepy and unproductive until much later in the evening….the only interesting changes were that meixiu came to say hi and tiffany was there for a coffee. I actually didn’t realize she came in and was sitting at the table diagonally across mine.

My bf nagged at me about my expenditure at starbucks, asking me to also put into an action plan to spend less which means saving more. Ok, so now I will only go starbucks on the weekends or when I have the whole day/large majority of the day free and will only buy 1 drink there each time. And I will eat the school food although I always think it don’t really taste that nice.

As much as I really miss home, I am glad that I am the kind of person that wakes up with new energy every morning with new positiveness that helps me get over unhappy stuff. The jinhui that many of my friends know is a forgetful Jinhui at times and sometimes I think that this is a good thing. Well, during those reflections or the past kinda conversations that I have with my NPCC/ secondary school friends, there are many times when they said “Don’t you remember….”, “you were the one…”, “That time you…” but many of the times I don’t remember.

My English is horrible by any kind of standard and I used to go for General Paper(GP) tuition when I was in Junior college. Well, the GP back then was just made of 2 components, a essay and a comprehension. Well, I certainly needed help on the essay as it the argumentative essay kind. I really like going to tuition as I think the tutor was really nice and a fun guy who have been travelling around for some time before coming to teach us and he would sometimes talk about his cat, his experiences travelling in India and several other places in the world. There were only a few students in class and sometimes we will try to gang up and force an opinion of him on him. Sometimes it would be things like he likes to live in denial etc.

There was once, there was this conversation about the lethargy of time, like how a old post card or a photo that has turned yellow can bring back a unique, personal, sentimental feeling to it as compared to a perfectly preserved original photo in its original rich color. I certainly agree with him in terms of the beauty of time being forgotten. I think it ain’t so nice to remember every single detail in life, good and bad, happy and sad, right, wrong, neither right nor wrong because that’s not the way the brain works. Things of the past always brings back found memories, but that also depends on whether you are the kind that tend to remember the happier of the sadder stuff.

Experiences and the memories from these experiences make a person unique. Here I am in a foreign land and am grateful for all the fond memories that has been perfected by the “blur” of time that keeps me company whenever I miss the people and things back home.

bored and lonely

2008-10-07T22:34:00.002+08:00

I can't believe this...

But when I am bored and lonely and my mind starts to wonder when I am at starbucks, I actually, on several occasions, open microsoft words and started typing out the conversation between the 2 sides of the brain. what the left would say and what the right would follow up with...weird right? Of course in the end, I would just close the document without saving....

2008-10-07T18:28:00.000+08:00

7th october, Wednesday: chilly, about 10 degree celcius

This morning, my group didn’t have classes so I was actually intending to wake up earlier to do the cleaning and the mopping that I was suppose to d yesterday but didn’t. woke at about 10 plus mainly due to some weird concert or event happening downstairs of my immediate neighborhood or yuan the people here call it and they were blasting Chinese songs, the disco remixes of one night in Beijing and it doesn’t sound nice at all and I think playing the melody only would have been better.

Had instant bowl noodle and canned luncheon meat for lunch and I was already running late for
school. I quickly packed everything and the instant noodles into a plastic to be thrown, stepped out of the house, and then realize there was a sudden feeling of warmth on my knees. Damn! The plastic bag leaked and it was dripping on the floor, on my shoes and jeans. Damn! So I hurried in and grabbed the toilet roll to wipe off whatever I can and get extra layers of plastic bag to throw the rubbish. Damn! There goes my plan to only wash clothes once a week as I would need to get to the jeans and the shoes tonight! And of course I was late for school!

I hate it when the left and the right brain inside me fights or one house of thought fights with another in my head. Well,there is a part of me that wants to be miss lone ranger because I think everything is easier that way and I don’t have to give or take anything much since I am I. but the society doesn’t work this way so there are times that I also want to be part of a group but yet again I am not the very group kinda person and at least there isn’t a group that I can join or can spot potential members to start this group. Frustrating! This need for company and this want to be lone ranger. Stressing and vexing!!!

Then I an again at starbucks and although the marble cheese cake has been there all the while or at least I think it has always been on sale. But I only took real not of it today and was reminded of my friend wei xiang when we shared a marble cheese cake from Secret Recipe at Plaza Sing. Haven’t seen him in a long long time and only chatted with him once a few weeks ago, in the past half year. Sigh… And if you are friends and family that I have in Singapore, rest assured that I miss u guys! And no I am not kidding.

2008-10-06T21:41:00.001+08:00

6th October, Monday, chilly:

What luck! Serene knocked on my door this morning and it was 730am. School starts at 8am. Damn…it was a mad rush. Serene didn’t have lessons this morning as her group has having the self revision slot this morning. It is hands-on lessons this few days. Again, I took the trishaw to school and was just in the nick of time before my group people left for the classroom. We had physical examination this morning, learning how to locate the perimeters of the heart by tapping and also listened to the dummy’s heart best to reflect the different types of heart beat described in the textbook. When I left home this morning I left my water bottle int eh room and was dying of thirst.

This comes the exciting part. During lunch time, which was 2 hours, I tried to call home to get serene to bring my water bottle for me when she comes for the afternoon class but in the end, I borrowed mei xiu’s bicycle to cycle home. I bought yang zhou fried rice and was on my way home and the ride was crazy. The seat of he mountain bike was so high I had difficulties getting on and the fact is that meixiu is shorter than me!! With my butt on the seat, I was barely tipping toe and it was really scary cycling around like that knowing that you have difficulty getting up and then which was when I need to cross the road at the pedestrian crossing. It was definitely a tiring ride back and forth! Scary!!!

In the afternoon, our hands on session was actually to go see the equipments used for some blood test/antibodies test machines and although we were standing in the room. I was really starting to feel sleepy and although I am in front of the teacher, my eyes wanted to close so much that by keeping them open, it was actually painful and I could feel my eyes crossing! But amazingly, the lesson was only for barely more than an hour and we were released!! Yeah caz the usual lesson is actually 4 hours!!

So a couple of us decided that we would go have try some tea at the shop nearby which one of my classmate’s father always buys from. When we were there, the owner, a young man, definitely less than 30 was really hospitable and although his place was small, he got chairs for all of us and started making for us teas of all sorts, tei guan yin, da hong ye, pu er cha etc etc. and I didn’t know but after some time I was starting to feel as lethargic as I was in class and warm. I was actually drunk on tea!!! Man….I didn’t know one can get drunk or high on tea, certainly, I didn’t know I was capable to get high on tea!!! my face was really red like when I were to take alcohol! In the end, I got some da hong ye and jasmine tea, a mug to make the tea and 2 mini tea cups. I believe he gave us a super big discount as he only charge me 65RMB! Apparently, another classmate who bought from him 300 bucks worth of tea during lunch time was only charged 100RMB!!! All of us bought something.

The night was really chilly and I decided to try my luck at Carrefour for electrical mats for the bed and electrical water bag which I managed to find with some help. Apparently, the staff in Carrefour here is not very friendly or helpful unless u are asking for their product or a similar product of another brand. And the rest of the what is left of the evening was spent in starbucks. Yes, I know, starbucks again but I can assure you it is much warmer then outside and certainly much warmer than my house! K then,,,,,

That’s it for now…catch up again tml

2008-10-06T21:38:00.000+08:00

5th october, Sunday: raining/morning, chilly/day

The day got to a sudden start when serene knocked on my door and it was 7.45am when we were suppose to meet another 2 classmates at the mrt at 8am to go the international church. It was a mad rush and we got into the trishaw to get us to the mrt station which is abt 15mins walk from our place.

It was crazily cold as it was drizzling and the wind was strong and chilly. Didn’t have an umbrella with me but again my PL jacket kept me from the rain but not the cold. Went to the Chinese session and it was much better the English one although not too sure if we want to continue to find a church. The weather continued even after the service on our way home and when we were walking by the road, the drizzle was light enough for serene to use her umbrella to block the wind only but it was still chilly.

Had lunch at mac and spent the rest of the day at starbucks. Wanted to study but ended up catching up online with a lot of old friends from JC times and beyond. For the first time I met someone I know at starbucks, Xiaoqi. Well, she’s my classmate and lives near my place but yet again, there are so many people that actually live near my place but I have never seen them at starbucks when I was here. I was actually looking out the glass panel when I saw in the reflection of the glass panel, a girl of that height, carrying a Carrefour bag and a familiar mini Coach waist sling bag so I turned around and waved at her. She was here to get a hot drink before heading home from Carrefour. Had my favourite jiao zi and tried another brand of china beer for dinner.

The night was simple by skyping with my family and then with my bf. I skype my my bf every night if we are both not too tired but would still try to skype for at least a while. Or if either of us are too tired then we would just call on the phone. He’s still looking for a place to stay and putting up at mine which makes it possible for his laptop to latch-onto the wireless at home as the M1 vodafone plane that I got him was freaking slow and they insisted that I personally go upgrade and sign the papers to upgrade. The Vodafone is not doing anything now and we have to mintain it for 6 months or pay penalty fee?? Sucks rite!!
That’s all for today.

4th oct and theo

2008-10-05T15:16:00.003+08:00

Friday, 4th october: chilly/windy

Having only slept at around 5am in an attempt to study, I only woke up at about 2pm. I am the kind that can get more things done and better in the wee hours of the night and the fact that at home can be noisy sometimes is really not as comforting. That’s is also part of the reason why I would stay at starbucks till closing and 11pm as by the time I get home, they would be doing their own things and probably bathing. Talking about bathing, it really sucks sometimes that there is only one toilet in the house so we have to take turns whether it is to bath or wash up. The troublesome part being that you can’t use the toilet when there is someone bathing. Well, I guess we just have to get used to it.

So I was at starbucks the whole of yesterday. Jinhui does weird and silly stuff. You see, as I was seated on the high chair and then the sofa seats later. While seated on the high seat, I was doing the not so important stuff like blogging and surfing the internet for some home news and the milk scandal. Looking at the milk scandal, I kinda miss Singapore a little more as I knew our super strict government would have a lot of measures at hand. I am sure the Chinese government is also doing a lot of which I may not be very well informed but I just think that I may feel much safer in Singapore. Certainly simple precautions measures can be taken like avoiding the milk products or any products that may contain milk but it really sucks don’t you think so? For there to be such a need to scrutinize the ingredient list and manufacturing country? Then when I changed over to the sofa seat, after a while I wanted to start studying and was fambling my whole bag for my pencil case and couldn’t find it although I remember bringing it out of the house with me. So in the end, I just have to study without my any writing material to practice on the spelling of the words. Then at around 11pm when I was packing to leave, then I saw that I actually dropped my pencil case to the side of the sofa, the side between the sofa and the glass window plane. Silly me…sigh…

Then it was raining and drizzling the whole of the 2nd half of yesterday and I didn’t have un umbrella with me. So when it was time to go I packed my stuff and wore my PL jacket which fended off some of the wind. Then as I was walking in the drizzle and chill wind of the night, I was reminded of the times when I was at my sec 3 NPCC Area 2 (PLMGSS, Serangoon Garden sec schl, De Yi sec schl and a few others that I can’t remember) camp in Pula Ubin.

Back then, the new facilities wasn’t ready yet and camps were just trekking in the semi-wild the whole day. On the second day, we left our campsite shortly after breakfast and was out trekking the whole day till night. It was the last night so there would be a campfire and we at the most northern part of the island that was the nearest to Malaysia(we could see Malaysia just across not ver far away) and this place would only be known to the campers as it was not a developed area but had forest around it…but again, there is a lot of forest in pulua ubin :P when we were having our campfire, it was quite evident that there was a huge dark cloud coming from Malaysia’s sky towards us and the campfire was interrupted abruptly by the sudden downpour from the heavens. So we all scrambled and got into rows of pairs to be led back to the camp site by the NCOs. After some discussion, we were all abruptly led into the pitch darkness that we couldn’t even see a finger ahead of us. I had my PL jacket with me the whole day and was wearing it then.

When we took a short break ouside the toilet or something, I saw that Theodora, a enemy turned friend but was still not on very good terms yet, was all drenched and I couldn’t remember very clearly if she was feeling sick that day already or something(need some help here) and so I offered her my jacket. Although she was already wet and by lending her my jacket I will eventually be wet too, I think it would still help in a way or another, at least to block out some of the wind….so when I was walking home I was thinking of Theodora and the NPCC times.

There is so much that I can remember from those days although I believe I played a backdrop most of the time and was sometimes the stubborn one that will not barge in quarrels. I certainly miss those times. I remembered I lend one of them(not so nice to say who) my underwear that night as most of the people actually left their tent doors opened and their bags won’t water-proof and all their clothes got wet. My clothes were dry as I place them in the NTUC plastic bag before putting it in my bag which was wet. We concluded on the spot that she should throw it after she has used it. OH MY…SO MUCH MEMORIES!!!!

sigh...gota go...didn't know that I can or would actually miss home. It's not Singapore that I miss, though I certainly miss the weather, cleanliness and security but I miss the people around me. As you can see, the Jinhui here doesn't have much people to rely on as yet, except for her classmates. I miss making friends and having friends (of course I have a couple here) but being in a foreign land, though I wana be friendly and can be friendly, I gota maintain on high defence and alert mood which is kinda tiring because that isn't me. So I would rather take the simplier alternative out by just not being friendly, like the chinese saying of "having gold in the mouth" kinda quiet and backdrop.

sigh.....

2008-10-04T19:28:00.001+08:00

Before the hols, it’s been school everyday. I would hang out with this particular classmate of mine, meixiu to go places whether it is to go see or go buy stuff. Well, I posted on the yahoo groups before coming to China to advice them to go for flu vaccine but apparently, a lot of people didn’t and meixiu also didn’t and she gradually didn’t feel so good or probably she was tired from hanging out with me as the places we usually go usually had a lot of traveling to it. There were other classmates who said there are a few distributer’s kinda shopping centres near the zoo soothe whole class went, at their own time own target, many times in the past few weeks. I went there once but kana axed instead. Totally sucks, I tried to bargain but th people there were really very fierce, so I have decided that I won’t want to go there anymore. Anyway a lot of the clothes that I bought was ok to do only, as in not v nice and not v ugly, I think i can live with it by my standards. I only went there once and the next day when I went xidan(orchard and bugis combined kinda place), I knew I like the clothes in the shopping centres, the boutiques especially this brand called “ONLY”.

The week before the hols, 22-28 sept, I went to wang fu jing 3 times myself on 3 consecutive days. The first time I was there was to change a book that I bought the previous week. Apparently i wanted to get a big and small English-Chinese Chinese-English dictionary, I managed to get a the big one right but I think as both myself and meixiu was really tired, I mistakenly took a small French-Chinese dictionary! So the first time that week, I was there to change the book and there wasn’t a small version and had to top up to exchange for a magazine and a Elvis Presley CD. Then I tried to make use of whatever time I had left (it’s 830pm the shopping centres close at 10pm) to find clothes. I went to a shopping centre that looked like it carry the international brands and when I was there, I saw “ONLY”. I didn’t exactly know what I wanted to buy when I stepped into its shop space except that I wanted to get tops and I walked out with about RMB$1200 worth of 4 tops of which 2 came with knitted sleeve-less overalls. Of course I was served by the salesgirls and it was their recommendations that I tried and the few that I like from their selection. I only made my payment at 10.07pm and had to return the next day to make a member-card as the customer service people have already knocked off. I went again on the 3rd day, thinking to do an exchange for the knitted top as there was “thread” sticking out un the underside, not knowing that it was actually normal. I also got thermal wear from the same shopping centre which was going at half price.

In the week of the hols, it was really eventful:

29 sept Monday: was washing clothes from Sunday nite till Monday morning, all my dirty clothes and the newly bought one, only to find out there I don’t have enuf hangers to hang all the clothes even if I were to empty my cupboard of hangers. so I had to go get the hangers. i went to my bf’s place for dinner as his mother invited me over and there was his 2nd aunt & uncle, his brother’s family and we had a lot of food including eating the crab. Goodness gracious! I had 3 of those!!! It was really painstakingly long and troublesome to eat those. I spent the night there too :P

30 sept Tuesday: My bf’s sis was off that day. So we went out shopping, my bf’s mother giving her RMB$1000 to go by some clothes I need to keep warm. We went to xidan and wang fu jing. We went to xidan first as I wanted to look for the ZARA and MANGO but couldn’t find MANGO and the ZARA wasn’t so nice after all. Her bf also joined us for a while there and a late lunch at Mr. Pizza. We went to “ONLY” again and I got another skirt and jacket from there. There was actually a short fitting dres, cupped sleeves, a turtle neck that had some room between the neck and the “turtle”, it was made of 2 layers of leather that had wool in between the layers. I seriously love it and think I certainly look stunning in it, it was one of those dresses that once u wear it, there would be an enormous feel good factor that that surely had it. But it was really pricy, RMB$1999. So in the end I didn’t buy it but I REALLY LOVE IT!!! We went to wang fu jing and bought another top from vero moda as I needed something to wear as I would be staying over again that night. We also bought other little stuff like socks, leggings, whatever you call that.

1st oct Wednesday: I got up early and rushed home as I was meeting Hu gang to go to Huan Le Gu amusement park, as in it’s the place with all the crazy rides but he seriously overslept and we went to Yi He Yuan instead which is the summer palace and boy was there a lot people. Wanted to get a distant view of the buildings etc but it was foggy so the pics didn’t turn out so nice. There as certainly a lot of walking, avoiding people, climbing up and down too. About 3 hours into it and I wanted to wave white flag again not that I don’t have the stamina but walking and climbing long distances in a super crowded place was really tiring.

2nd oct Thursday: realized from Wednesday night that my room was rather dusty. The dust built up 2-3 times faster here in Beijing than in Singapore. So I spent more than half the day sweep, mop, wash the bed sheets etc. had a super late lunch before heading to starbucks to study relaxingly til 11pm. Then I went to mac to get a burger and then headed home.

3rd oct Friday: Went to wang fu Jing to get more of that thermal wear as the offer was only till the 5th and again there were crazily a lot of people. Well, when I was on my way there, I sms my bf’s sis to ask if she was going home for dinner as I would only want to go if she was going home for dinner otherwise it would be funny if I go to his place for dinner or overnight and only his parents are in. Apparently, just slightly before I sms her, his parents wanted to call me to go over for dinner as his brother is treating us to dinner and another few relatives. Dinner was not bad and I didn’t stay overnight this time as I didn’t have all my barang barang with me.

first 3 weeks in beijing

2008-10-04T19:26:00.002+08:00

I am restarting this blog of mine after a very very long time. The main reason is that I wilbe in Beijing for the next 2 years of my life or so. Hopefully, this blog can help my friends and family to keep close to the changes n the mundane things of my mundane life that is several thousand km away from home….

The last few weeks in Singapore was doing those nothings…meeting up with pple and making the lst dash to earn some money. it was really chaotic at the airport as there was family, friends and church people and people were calling me to give me their wishes as well as finding out which corner of the airport was I at.

It was my second night flight to Beijing, the first being some 2 years back late December when I
flew on my own(for the first time and after so many years) to look for my bf in Beijing back then. There was great improvement on this flight as my bf flew with me on the same flight as with most of my classmates. My bf was initially seated at a different seat but given that there were about 60 of us on the same flight, there were a few changes of seat before he was seated next to me and many other friends did the same too. It wasn’t comfortable to be sleeping on the plane at all. Part of the reason was that the space was small (flying on China Air Economy class) and I woke up in the middle of the night due to chest pain or heart ache which didn’t improve for a long time even after I undid my bra. Till today, I seriously believe that that it was emotionally caused.

The school was there to pick us up from the airport and all our languages which couldn’t fit into the “boot” of the bus and we just had to load it onto the walkway of the bus. We went to the school campus and waited for those who were staying in the hostel to put their luggage in their rooms before the school served us some really blend porridge which wasn’t nice at all. There was a short briefing after but I slept through most of it…was just too tired. My bf’s father and uncle came to fetch us from the school after we finished and boy was the weather hot like normal Singapore and we were in jeans and long sleeves top.

They brought us to look for lunch near the place we were staying and not knowing that they and my bf have already eaten, I just order quite a few items, and of course there was the peking duck and other stuff, and we(my housemates: Karen, jinju and serene(wan hui haven’t arrived)) were trying to eat as fast as we could as serene’s friend who rented the apartment on our behalf was already at the apartment waiting for our arrival.

To our slight disappointment, the rented apartment was really near the hospital, just across our block but it looked rather old as there were some titles coming off. We did a lot of stuff to the house and for ourselves the next few days like moving the beds and bed frame, buying cleaning tools etc and we hired a part-time cleaner to clean the house.

About 3 days later when wanhui arrived and seeing the photos of the apartments of a few other friends who rented apartments slightly further away(about 15-20min walk) and had the Singapore kind of interior finishing and furniture to it, we played with the thought of looking for a better place. The old house was great because of the location and that everything, including Carrefour was within 5 min walk or less from our place but we felt that maybe we could get something better. Just then, another group of our classmates, Feng yu and her house mates came to our place for a visit with their housing agent who became our agent when he brought us to see a apartment near feng yu’s apartment and we decided on the place the very night after a long discussion which included fence sitting. We lost 2.5 months’ rent of the 1st place due to the deposit and the previous agent fees. So we thought of finding a better place and found one that night and signed the contract the next day and moved in.

The agent, Hu Gang, was really nice as I don’t think it is in his job to get a vehicle to help us move all our stuff over the new place and in the next few days to follow, brought us to bargain and buy second-hand furniture, brought us to the internet centre to amend our internet details, change the locks of the door, set up the internet cable etc in our house and even became our plumber and settled the toilet bowl clogged which threatened to overflow the toilet bowl!! Apparently, in China, their pipes are small then the ones we have in Singapore which would easily clog if we threw paper into it which we did for a few days.

So although we arrived in Beijing a week before school started, we didn’t have time to go sight-seeing or play much together. I only managed to go to silk road with mei xiu and wan jing on the Friday for a while which I bought my first fake Gucci bag among other stuff. We took a train there and it was my first time being on the train and the newer trains were like singapore’s just that it was nicer and the older trains were really bad as sometimes you would wonder if the air-con was even on.

In terms of personal life, my bf was there in Beijing for 2 weeks and I went over to his place for dinner on the second night and his 2nd aunt and uncle came over too. This time I went to my bf’s HDB like apartment and it was furnished really nicely, with a very big LCD or plasma TV in the living room and there were 2 little dogs in his house which were pretty cute. And during his 2 weeks there, and when I am at his place, to my astonishment, there was this show called 狄仁杰 which was still showing. Well, there are 3 parts but it was already showing in Beijing 2 years back and it was still showing repeats of it although the average was about 40-50 episodes in each part. I nearly fainted and my bf still watches attentively!!!

We went to xidan on his first Saturday by mrt(we usually always travel around by cab) to look for and buy simple t-shirts(I didn’t bring any as I thought it would be cold and only brought all my sleeveless which still wasn’t enough). There were really a lot of people and shortly after we reached the shopping centre after travelling on the mrt, I felt like waving the white flag. But we preserved and found 3 shirts! Yeah, you must understand that it was really difficult finding the shirts as all the wear was going towards autumn wear. During the 2 weeks that he was here, I went out with his family for dinner another 2 times, the first to eat 涮羊肉treated by his brother(cousins are usually just called brothers and sisters directly) and another home dinner at his 2nd aunts place. I like eating with his family because there is always so much food that is always beyond anybody’s fill. In terms of food, I have learnt that besides fish that is difficult and troublesome to eat, the crabs here, which are grown in ponds, are also as if not more troublesome to eat. I think the only part easy to eat is the egg as the crabs are half the size if not smaller than the usual ocean crab that we have in Singapore so its really difficult as u will be trying to get pass the shell to only get so little flesh in it. Really a trouble eating it clean and now I understand why my bf is always s fast with crabs, he must have first trained up with these.

Ever since the first day of school, it has been a supersonic train ride with cramped information and sometimes the teacher sound monotonous and actually sighed before a section which makes it all the worse. According to them, ours is a cramped curriculum and they need to cover a textbook in 1/3 the time they usually teach the other china students. Boy, does that sound comforting. To begin with, we got some language issues, not that we don’t understand what the teacher is saying or teaching but that we don’t really know the English-Chinese or the Chinese-English translation of the medical and scientific names which actually sucks because there are times when we only know where the teacher is referring to after a listening to her next few sentences or we will only know we know what the teacher is referring to which may be something that we have already ben taught after she has completed about ¾ of the content of a particular section. Its like this at about 80% of the lessons. And its not that we want to fall asleep but with such a speed and barrier, when u get lost or it starts to sound monotonous to you, you either turn off mentally or sleep or just take notes without understanding.

Some of the hands on classes were pretty fun, learning how to listen to the heart beat and conduct physical examinations, of course we did it to dummies and to our classmates first. There are 60 of us altogether and there are only 4 guys, we are split into 4 equally groups, with only 2 groups have 2 guys each so that it makes it less embarrassing when it comes to physical examination. My group has 2 guys, david and chen chun and they are lways our model for teacher’s demonstration and as our dummies if possible so its really funny and I still do feel a bit shy but putting things aside and be impersonal about it it’s ok la.

i'm back!

2008-03-22T18:21:00.001+08:00

Wow!!! If it wasn’t that my classmate posted something on her blog, I wont even have come over and realised that the last post was about a year ago!!! Man that’s how fast ime flies....
A quick update:
it’s been quite busy lately as the exams are coming son and i am in yaer 3 already!!! Always pack nearly back to back with school, tuition and some part time modelling!! YEAH!! I am doing part time modelling but actually i haven’t been to a lot of places or casting and there is a problem with my smile. I cant smile naturally and confidently on camera which i think explains why i have so many castings that i go fo but i get none of them,.....sad.....i do licquor promo on more or less a regular basis.
My bf is now in Singapore, staying with my family and I. Someone at church helped him in getting a job as a cook in raffles marina. Give thanks onto the Lord!!! For it was bleak and there were many ups and downs before we finally landed in this job. And my bf is now a Christian!! Yeah!! To God be the Glory!!!
Bought a NEC laptop at the recent IT fair as i really wanted to own my own laptop and also for my Beijing studies coming up. It’s really complicated in terms of arrangement and it is really quite amazing and quite funs to see different people in the class contribute to help or provide info in some way or another. I will miss my bf if he’s not coming with me....sigh..........

Ok, gtg study or bath n change and get ready for work tonight... :P will update with more info n pics soon...

2007-05-02T00:13:00.000+08:00

Well, I went to watch Spiderman 3 with my brother today on the opening day!!!! Scream!!!! I was initially worried that thy might over do it caz there are a lot of issues for spiderman this time round. But I am most glad to say that they didn’t do overdo it. Maybe caz I got little butt so my butt was kid of sore from sitting in the cinema but I really did hope it could have been a little bit longer.

Then, remember the higher paying job that I was talking about? They called to say that there might be a problem with the pass and was asking to arrange for a 2nd interview. Reason being I used to work for DFS and it didn’t quite end too pleasantly but if you were to ask me wad was it exactly, it being some 2 and a half years ago is really kinda hard to recall but as I was scrolling through the list of thins that could have triggered it, I was just wondering how young and naïve n childish I have been. Well, I must say that I have changed a lot since then. Well, the job at DFS was my first real job after the A levels and I was kinda upset by all the things happening in it. But after time in uni, experience from other jobs, meeting and knowing a wider circle of people, I must say that if I was in the same situation again it would definitely turn out very different, I think i won’t have even left the place. Well, hopefully the interview will go well tml caz besides the it being a new and exciting job, I really need the money. Nott so much to spend but to save for schooling for the China pat and for my bf to come here and find a job. Well, to begin with, the gal has yet to call back to let me know the time of the interview tml. Sigh….keeping my fingers and toes super cross.

Well, talking about my bf, I really really really miss him. I miss him every day its just that on other days there are other things to keep me busy about and today on the way back from the movie I was just thinking about the times when we were to go out together. The blissful feeling. Well, I am in a typical relationship which I think most people do whereby the gal is the one being taken care off. Well, not necessarily monetarily but emotionally, physically etc etc, its just the feeling of blissfulness that comes from within that is so so sweet, that I so much so miss. No matter how I portray myself to the people and the rest of the world around me, and I think this applies to a lot of people out there, ur partner will e someone that you can bear yourself out with and sometimes even fool around with your partner by being a little childish at times n you know the other person won’t mind and you know that it will not incur any kind of back stabbing or unpleasant events to take place later. Sigh……………

2007-05-02T00:12:00.001+08:00

(written on 29 april actually...........)

Well well………I have finally reached the end of my papers!! Actually I reached the ends of my papers a few last fri n today is my 2nd day of freedom already!!!!

But the word freedom is rather subjective, well, free from the books but getting ready to plunge into the worklife n hopefully al will turn out well as I go nearly all out to try to earn as much as possible for the saving to go China for the last 2 years part and the bf part. Well, I must say that I don’t really know which do I prefer. Studying or working caz even when I am studying I am still half working with tuition n last time the OCBC credit card promoter job but now I can just fully focus n try my best to work. The good thing about working is that I can just work n work n work n if at night really tired can justlike that fall asleep n no need to go care that there is a report or a test that is coming up that I must study for.

Well, let me quickily share with you the last paper before I go on about stuff Ithat I really want to share. Well, I must first say that I think the last paper was quite alright although I dun know about half the mcq qns which makes that 20 marks but most of the other stuff I am confident hat I at least got 80% correct？keeping my finger crossed about the CAP, hope I dun do too badly n fall out of the honours.

Well, there was this thing about making decisions that I will like to share(and boy is this going to be long)……

Well, I must say that I am the kind of person who like to ask around about other people’s opinion about something before I make a decision myself. Well, I won’t say that I am someone who does wadd the crowd says but its part of looking for some assurance that the decision that you have in mind will really be a good one. But sometimes, when the choices that I make didn’t turn out so well, there is this tiny little part of me that kinda blames those who think that it might work out although I know fully that I am to be responsible for my own decisions and I really hate myself when I do that some times. Caz the indecisive me was showing up when I needed to choose between a confirmed low paying temp job vs a higher paying job which is really uncertain wheteher there will be the job anot. In the end I choose the higher paying one.

But after all of it, I was thinking about all the things I heard pple say about, that when in doubt they ask God. Some people ask n looked out for the “sign” in whichever form it mey come in but some asked n didn’t bother to keep an attentive look out. well, then I was also thinking about this story in the Daily Beard that I read years and years ago. Well, it was about this father and son who was along the highway and there wasn’t many cars along that highway when the dad decided that he would do something that is not really quite right(but I can’t really remember wad it was already). He then ask his son to keep a look out to see if there was anyone passing by from the left or right and then the son asked if he should also be looking up to see if God’s watching? The things that I want to conclude here is that if we are going to be concerned about anyone’s opinion about us I think we should be most concern about God’s opinion of us because he is always watching.............

think about it................

2007-04-20T16:29:00.000+08:00

Long time no see friends!!!

I certainly do hope that there are people out there who are interested in this uneventful gals life?

But if any of you ever chance upon my blog or purposefully came to my blog(I love you) pls do leave me a taggy alright?

Well, after my bday, there wasn’t anything much fun that has happened, still the same school and tuition stuff but to add to the load this 2 weeks are the exams and I just finish my second paper this morning. The first was biomedical pharmacology which comorises of 2 parts, the research on TCM herbs and the western collection of drug names n action and it was a disaster. Well, with ever new name of the drug that I memorized, some of those that I memorized earlier dropped out of my memory. And there was REALLY A LOT to memo. During the paper, all the qn have the part for you to name the drugs specifically and the class it belong to which mostly only knew the class n when I so rarely recalled the drugs name, I can’t spell it :P today one was also quite bad. It was essay style in parts and choose 5 out of 6 to do. I think I spent quite a significant amount of time just trying to decide which qns to do caz I only have substantial amount of info for half or slightly more than half for all of the qn. Sian diaotz. Just managed to squeeze myself into the second lower, with this 2 papers I think I will be moiving out ot the range again. Keeping my fingers crox.

well, veron was saying to go MOS tonight but couldn't caz its exams period tho i think or i heard that it is her bday. another thing to add to it is that MOS is expensive compared to O bar. think i kinda think O bar better as the drinks are cheaper there.

well, abt my bf n I, just like that lor, we call everyday without fail unless he sick but ya, almost everyday. stil stuck in this lousy situation of not knowing how will he be able to come n find a job here. things are quite uncertain right now and there is a slight possibility of us getting ROM for him to stay here. i think that is the last of our options. of caz we intend to get married n ROM and all whether it is before or after i go beijing but i surely don't want this issue to be in the picture when we ROM. moreover, he hasn't gotten to know Christ yet which i deem it as an important part in this union.

wel, talking about religion, actaully after i left PL i guadrally back slided but i promise myslef and God that i will slide back someday n before i get married. altho i won't see myself as a christian in the years that i back slided but i will be offended if anyone bad mouths about Christianity. Then i sudden;y see that actually God and his prescence is really around me altho i think otherwise sometimes. i keep meeting with a lot of pple who are christians and are pretty positive about their faith. there are also other things that i think i should try to start making a concious effort to slide back to the Faith. i think it will be a long jorney and a difficult one, there maybe ups and downs but it is definitely something that i can't do by myself but require God's help in it and fellowship, so i think i will be "shopping" a church to attend on a constant basis.

till next time.....tc....

2007-04-03T01:13:00.000+08:00

There are quite a no. of things I would like to do, several simple things that I can take it slow but well, come to think that I haven’t started my revisions for the eacms in 2 weeks time, I think better not.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!!!!

This is the first thing I am doing on my birthday…blogging!!!

Last saturady, I invited a few of my closer friends from all over the place but only abt 13 turned up. But I sure hope they have a averagely fun or happy time. My maid made a lot of food n I think the royal chocolate that I had such a hard time trying to recall where it was bought from the last time my friends and I bought for my other friend’s birthday a few years ago, but ya, I think that the cake was good. But come to think of it , I think the only 2 disappointing thing was that I didn’t take photos throughout the nite n only during the cut-cake session n so denise n farah who left early weren’t in it. The other thing was that my friend wei xiang was suppose to turn up but he never said anything n didn’t tuen up at all. After that we went to O bar, actually to double O then to O bar, I only danced with 2 losers for a while that night n the rest of the time, we were dancing among yourselves. Those present were pri, Linda, ruby n bf (kuan ting) and ron but ya it was fun. About the 2 losers, the first was some NUS guy who can’t dance n was trying to dance with me, stiff body movement but trying to hold my hands n hold me closer? He asked for my no. but of caz I didn’t give n he didn’t last more than maybe say 20mins? Then the other loser guy came along when I was rather high, I cant even roughly map out his face except that he wasn’t very tall. I gave him face to dance with him n the ass hole squeeze my butt!!! He should Thank God that he only did it once and F with him that he disappeared after I asked him to buy me drinks. Bastard! But after that I only got more high. I think the drink was called flaming mambo or something, I had my second one from linda’s friend’s friend and was really high. We were at O bar till it closed n after that I think the rest left for home caz Linda brought the very high me to MOMO to show her bf that she was with us that night. While she was trying to find her bf, she deposited me at the bar counter n some guy passed me his fresh glass of red wine. I had a sip or two, returned him n sms on my hp n show him “I think that red wine is rather disgusting when I am high” So Rude n wadsoever but I swear I was really high. And the red wine started its effect of mixing drinks. Linda came back for me n put me oat the sofa while she went somewhere n I started puking. Then on the way home with her in the cb, I puke into the plastic bag, I wanted to puke while locking the door after I got in n so I did in the toilet but I forgot to lock the door after that.

Nothing much after that except that the next day, I couldn’t stand the temptation of the presents n started slowly opening them until today. The was all bought with kind intentions but I was pretty trouble when I received 2 books of Christianity related books. One thing, I really hate reading. Tho I received another Chinese book from my other friend but he got me something I would read, the inspirational stuff thru simple stories but I really have no idea what to do to the book. As for the rest of the presents, they were all pleasant surprises. Especially the precious moment’s figurine from my friend.

ok...wll tok again another time...think i will continue celebrating my bday in a small way for myself. having self time n sleeping enough. so sad my bf isnt here with me tho, first time without him after we got together....sigh................

2007-03-30T14:35:00.000+08:00

i have got abt 3 friends who asked me abt wad i wld like to have...............

actually i don't really know as most of the things that i want are rather expansive like a ipod nano? and that ANGEL perfum(see previous blog entry). but then, there will be other things that i will also very much need like spectacles since my spec's degree is very off from my current "power"? i am love ear rings, necklace sometimes but i have a hard time deciding which to buy n often cant make up my mind so i don't have much necklaces. then there are other weird things that i like, like art material for observational pencil/charcoal/water colour drawing/painting? i also like nice looking plain books without lines. on the softer side of me i will like "me to you" bear or known as ted teddy, the grey bear with a blue nose, not forever friends.

but to sum it all up what i really wish is actually for my bf to be here with me, then i can show him to all my friends n they will all like each other, but this is an impossible dream that needs to be postpone. so when you ask me what i like for birthday, it really doesn't matter, caz what i want is not wad a person can give but yea, there will be a preferential list of items....

2007-03-28T18:39:00.000+08:00

It’s been a long time and there are a lot of things that have happened but I will try to make it snappy.

Well, schl is still sucking n I am still in the trap of tuition and that has not changed but only gotten worst n with the new tcm module this second half of the sem, I think that it will be more true to say that I am not coping so well? Am I short of money? Ans: kind of, it is a fact that my hubby’s boss will not be employing him anymore n so I must try my best to save as much as possible as soon as possible so that he can come here n we can take care of the living expanses before he is able to get a job here, and of course he will be helping too.

As for the rest of my friends….i managed to meet up w hui ying a few times to study together etc during the mid sem break after I ran into her after tuition on the Saturday before the mid sem break but the sem has been busy n I haven’t been able to meet up much with other pple. I occasionally still go blading with my ocbc friend Zhong Wei who will be flying of to japan on a exchange trip for 5 months! Cool right? Then, ti was very surprised n very glad that my long lost pri schl friend, Lydia contacted me to ask me to her 21st bday which I did and I was a nice experience seeing fur friend in person so long long later. Then I went to O bar last Saturday and it was a bit fun in the sense that “yeah, I finally go to a new place to club” but I was dancing with this very very very sweaty guy that was kinda disgusting.

Then the other thing is that my 21st bday is coming as u guys can se n I must say that it is a happy n sad event. Initially I didn’t wasn’t to do anything since my bf is not here in Singapore n all else dun really matter as much then my mother n sister persuaded me into it. After considering the cost, convenience, my big extended family, the availability of the function room, it will be at my place n then there will be clubbing to I m not a very clubbing person but I do enjoy the fun once in a while. But I think it was quite sad that I sms abt 30 odd pple n in the end abt coming to 15 are turning up and many did not even reply. Sad….

Then in case those few precious friends of mine are reading this, and haven’t thought of wad to get me for my bday, in order: ipod nano 4gb, a pair of gd track shoes, spectacles, perfume: ANGEL from Thierry Mugler, range of cosmetic brushes, art products(for observational drawing or painting), Ted teddy(Or better known as the “me to u” a grey bear with blue nose)….alll of which are rather expensive unless you are sharing with a few others. Of maybe just hangbao? Hahahaha…..i still think that it’s the thought that counts so I think anything will be ok except other kinds of funny soft toys…..

K, there is lab report to do, revision for test to be done, preparation of ans to the test…..so I gtg….hope to up date soon…………

Jinhui

2007-03-25T18:16:00.001+08:00

2007-02-07T01:16:00.000+08:00

forgot to uplad a few photos that I like....like this one....cute right?...hahaha (we were in his sis room taking the pic)

Me and his sister at Xidan....:p

2007-02-07T01:15:00.000+08:00

Like I was saying at the comment box a the side I am so glade that finally I got someone posting on it….letting me know that there are still those out there who read my blog……sorry for the long delay in the new post…..

Well, after I return from China, I started out distributing the presents and I am glade to know that the few friends that I got presents for like them. As I was on a tight budget so I only bought for a few friends as the main focus was to bring back things for my family members. But to my dismay some of the things they didn’t quite like. Like the Chinese cigarette meant for my Dad, he felt that it was too bland and gave the rest of the 2 rows after smoking a few sticks. The white wine is still waiting for someone to drink some of it as I write. I also brought back a few tidbits that were made in Beijing but it is moving rather slowly. But I think my family got a bit sick and tired of eating 4 ducks which was wad I brought back----4 ducks prepared in 4 different ways and packed up nicely. Well, to begin with, I never realize that my family don’t really eat duck…opps! Because my dad sometimes orders duck rice outside and I eat duck so I didn’t really quite notice that we actually never had duck at home before…..Oh well……

School is bad. This is the heaviest semester that I am going to be taking which means that the grades will affect the CGPA the most. Then the other thing is that now we are into this section of Chinese medicine that requires intensive memorizing….memorizing the individual herbs usage, which is suppose to be quite a small fry as compared to the well known concoctions and the other sections of tcm that we must memorize in the time to come. Tuition was also a big headache, with kids canceling their tuition or taking on of new students, it’s the transition time for tuition, the time when you take on new kids.

About me and my bf….i must say that I miss my bf every single moment. I miss staying at his place and the many little things that he will do to show his affection in his very own way. I missing eating instant noodle with my bf, watching tv in his living room, going to the public bath together and travailing from one place to another. Although it was only for 2 weeks but I feel that was one of the best 2 weeks that I every had. Although we also have little quarrels there but not having my parents nagging, not having to comply to his boss orders and be alert 24/7, he being able to rest better and play better and slack better. The feeling is jus so good and so pure in itself that it is the kind of memory that you will replay in your head and be happy deep down in your heart. Although it is still uncertain whether or not he can come back but we are still having hope or should I say that we know that there is will there s way or somehow things will work out and it can’t get too wrong since we are together. But yeah the missing him part is terrible. But just have to hopeful and look forward to the daily calls or sms which can be a source of happiness sometimes.

Well, I must say that I am really dead tired today. Well, today or should I say yesterday was my classmate at NTU’s birthday. We went to Holland V area, where there was a place called settlers which was quite a fun place caz they got a lot of board and card games there to choose from which can be really very very fun. Then after that I met Denise for dinner while we catch up over dinner a little. Then after that I had a choose of either taking the MRT or the Bus home band I actually choose the longer route home by bus and although I did kind of regret taking that route as I haven’t revised for my tcm test on Monday and it was so long, but something nice happened….I saw my VJ track mate David while I was waiting for the bus at AMK. It was nice catching up a little and to find out that there was a failed reunion that has just passed due to some communication break down.

2007-01-18T18:11:00.000+08:00

some pics on the day i went to the imperial palace.............like i was saying it was really cold that day n the wind was also cold. so cold that my hands n feet were numb before the end of the day....the palace was really big n i wonder if the palace pple ever get lost inside before. a great place to play hide n seek but not too sure wad time u will finsh the game.... :p a pity that there were a lot of places that was close to visitors or was under repair works.....be sure not to buy anything much in there. the food stalls inside is to purposely charge foreigners more...........

and yes it snowed for 2 half days when i was there.....1st time seeing snow...can be quite dirty n messy n slippery when it melts........

night view of xidan bigger few shops....one thing is that it gets a little foggy towards the evening n night so u must really be there in person to see how nice it is actually.................

2007-01-18T18:09:00.000+08:00

Day 11:

His friend called him ytday to ask him for mahjong in the aft but we are both not willing to. Well, for him its lazy but for me is because I don’t know the game n will be bored to death. But what kind of game do I know how to play? Maybe the kids type like uno…hehehe. But anyway, after a long n dreadful discussion, it was decided that he will take a short afternoon nap n then we will go wang fu jing or xi dan. Not that I wanted to buy anymore things but I just want to spend time with him more since he would be having his cooking lesson the next day’s afternoon. But then when we just step out of the house we saw his sis who said that it was too windy n cold n there is hardly anyone on the streets. When she knew we were heading to town, she discouraged us and suggested that we the 2 of us, as in my bf’s sis and I would go the next day. Then the other thing was that I really wanted to go n bath caz its been 2 days already. So the plan was to go bath later. Then the guy that plays pool w my bf called to ask him out to play pool. To escape from the fate of waiting for them by myself n entertaining myself, we asked the sis along as she wanted to bath too hen we could all go out n eat together. We tat was wad we did. We chat while the guys were playing then went to bath then have dinner in a restaurant nearby. First time bathing w the sis, good n bad but I shan’t go into the detail. Dinner was great. The food was great n they intro my to this shui zhu fu, which has slices of fish in a bowl of sauce w chili n some other stuff. It was suppose to be very hot but not as hot as I thought it might be, the main thing was that we forgot to ask which kind of fish has lesser bones caz the one we had was very boney. Then we headed home. Had a little quarrel w my bf caz I want to go out tml night w my bf to take some photos n walk around but he thinks that it is more of I wanting to shop. Oh ya, I forgot to mention that the sis was having a fun time playing with the camera, taking of us n herself many times, in the morning n night too.

Day 12:

So my bf went to his cooking class n we went to xidan to have a manicure. In the end only I did the manicure n it was quite bad. When the gal was toking to me, I mentioned that I was from Singapore n the price short up. His sis help my bargain it down but still quite exp abt 130 which cld have been less than 100 rmb. It was quite scaring. The gal was doing my nails n they were bargaining loudly about it n I feel being stuck in the middle. My bf finished early n looked for us in xi dan after which we took some photos n then have dinner. On our way back we went to develop the photos while my bf said that he will go to the toilet in the supermarket nearby. The whole time I have been waiting n hoping that he will fulfill his promise of giving me flowers which was y I was unhappy ytday too. After developing selection of the photos, we went to look for him but then his cell was off n the supermarket was about to close n there was no one in the toilet already n we didn’t see him on our way in. then we got ourselves bing tang hu lu, then when we went out we saw that he was there, smoking. His sis was scolding him for being mean as he had no surprise element. So we got into a illegal cab. Then in the cab, in the middle of nowhere, he pulled out a rose from inside his jacket. tat night we started packing the things…………

Day 13:
I woke up earlier then usual n caz my hair was really becoming oily, I washed my hair. It was like the way I wash up in the morning in the kitchen, mixing hot n cold water into a basin n thn wetting ur hair by putting in as much hair as possible into the water n wash, shampoo, rinse twice. It was weird. Then woke my bf up n then we continued packing the stuff. Caz most of the things that I was bring back came in boxes, we spent a long time packing, reweighing, changing bags etc. we left for the airport shortly after lunch. His cousin drove us there. There was my bf off caz n his sis. We went to pick up the photos before heading to the airport. Caz I was wearing the Singapore kind of layers, no extra pants under my jeans, although I wore the big outer jacket it was still cold as it was pretty windy. It was diff in the Beijing airport, u check in ur language after u enter the transit area. My flight was delayed twice n boarded the plane an hour late n then the plane was just not flying for quite some time. By the time I reach Singapore it was abt 1130pm….my parents came to fetch me at the airport and called my bf to chat a little then fell asleep at 3am for there was lessons the next day. It was quiet weird coming back to Singapore. Beijing seemed so near yet so far, I could still see the streets of Beijing w my wide open eyes on my way home. And it seems that there are movies on the day flight and nothing at all on the night flight. I was missing Beijing n my bf even on the plane back to Singapore.

2007-01-04T22:15:00.000+08:00

Day 7(1st jan 2007)
My bf’s paternal side of the family gathers on new year’s day as a yearly event and it is also a chance to show me to his relatives in a easier way. His parents rushed us in the morning, my bf, his sis n me to go to the restaurant where we will all have lunch but they have a very bad habit of not making reservations even on such public holidays when a lot of people have meal gatherings and we didn’t get a place at the restaurant that we want initially. We went to another restaurant later and the heater wasn’t working very well. I think the only interesting part about the lunch was when his mother ask me to pour wine into the glasses of the “elders” as in my bf’s uncle n aunties n of caz my bf’s parents too. After lunch my bf n I made a move first to go to wang fu jing st which is like the orchard road of Singapore and we had to go back home for dinner as his relatives, including those who were missing during lunch timecaz they had work, will be coming over to his house for dinner. But before we did all that, I spotted a man selling bing tang hu lu, sancha that is coated with sugar and I had my first of this kind of thing. Wang fu jing st was exciting and the shopping centres sell net price items and there are a lot of branded brands there to moderately branded brands there. We got denise a pair of ear rings in one of the shopping centres. We later got ourselves a place in the sight seeing vehicle that drove us to a few slightly more known places around wang fu jing area. Ofter that we took a few photos here n there and we left for home. Then we had the longest taxi ride I had ever had in my entire life. We took about 2 hours to reach home. First the taxi driver heard the place wrongly and drove in the wrong direction for a while. Then as it was about peak hour there was jam, then there was a terrible jam along a whole stretch of road which links 2 zones together. Caz the cab driver was from the town region, we had to change a cab when we were nearing our place. I forgot if I mentioned that I tried a lot of vege out of politeness when it was added to my table in front of his relatives or by his relatives. My bf’s dad had a cold and that was the start of cold virus spreading.

Day 8:
We didn’t do anything much except to go to the public bath n stayed there for a few hours before having dinner w his cousin n family and we had rabbit meat for dinner. Well, to begin with, I think the meat was marinated for too long as tie so it tasted kinda salty. But anyway, rabbit meat taste very meaty, tastes tough, a bite of it makes you feel like u are eating several layers of beef meat that is tightly entwined together. It is so meaty that you cannot have more then a few mouths of it at a go n have to bite something plainer to relieve yourself of the extreme meaty taste.

Day 9:
My bf and I went to Wang Fu Jing Street again. His sis had fallen ill n together with his parents, both his sis n dad went to the hospital to be on the drip. Apparently the people over here likes to go on the drip a lot I think, caz his dad already went there the previous day n they go on the drip everyday. My bf tells me that its because the medicine here is not as effective as the ones that we have there n apparently the medicines are often poorly labeled. This time when we went to wang fui jing st, we bought nearly everything that I think I want to buy as gifts to close ones. We had lunch at the macs there n purposely ordered the burgers that are not found in Singapore n there was this grilled premium chicken thigh that was simply fantastic. Before nightfall, which is 5pm we left the place already as it was pretty windy, making it a little cold. we came home n rest a while before we went out to meet his friends for dinner and then went to play pool. Of caz I didn’t play as usual but to save me from the boredom which I am not too sure whether it was really effective but I had a table to myself and I was playing with myself. But as u all know, I am not good at games that involve aiming skills. That was mainly how the day was spent.

Day 10:
Confirmed the air ticket back home. We had cup noodle for lunch as his sis has left for school already and his parents are out to the hospital again. I woke rather earlier than usual and on my own caz I was waken by all the noise when the mum woke the sis up n the sis was packing her stuff n arguing w her bf on the phone. The sis won’t be returning tonight n tomorrow nite and I must say that I was kinda looking forward to it. It’s not that the sis is not nice, actually we can get along quite well but I light-sleep most of the night when I sleep with her. Once I was kicked and other times just somehow jolted by her awake n I will usually have a hard time trying to fall asleep again and even if I do it’s a light-sleep. Went to the Beijing tcm uni to take a look and boy is it difficult. To begin with, my bf is often not in Beijing and know very little about public transport, we tried the web but there isn’t a effective street directory that we could comprehend. In the end his friend, the one we go play pool with drove us there n we used the map. The schl is quite a dist from my bf’s home but we went the direct way which cabs wont caz they want to make $ and took about half an hour. The campus was moderately new. The buildings are mostly individual buildings about 4 or 5 storey high mainly and the class room look okay? Caz it was really cold today so we merely took a look at the canteen which was not appealing at all and a classroom.. after that the 3 of us went to some newly opened Korean restaurant n eat to out fill. Then there was nothing much after that except to come home and me to blog while they watch tv outside…..which is what is happening when I am writing this.

to be continued...................will add the pics when i get back to singapore, the loading time here is crazy!!!

2007-01-03T00:04:00.000+08:00

Day 5
Opps, forgot to mention that I had a long chat with his sister abt how Singapore is this n that and her sis like the part that we are less traditional then their family here….
My bf was suppose to have cooking lessons in the afternoon so I went out with his sis in the after to xi dan again to buy 1 more sweater, proper flat shoes so we can go to the great wall of china one of these days and some other little stuff. We went n spent the whole day in the 2nd shopping centre my bf brought me to the other day n went to the higher levels where u can bargain like at bugis village. We bought a pair of shoes that was super furry on the inside n outside, a black sweater for me, a pair of long dangling ear rings n a naval ring for me there while his sis bought a red sweater. Then we went to the Disney store again n we bought 3 handbags altogether, I bought 2 n his sis bought 1. one of the bags that I bought was made of real leather, cow’s skin. I like the 2 handbag equally, feel like keeping both but think I will be giving one of them away just that I dun noe which yet. We then had dinner with the family n his uncle n aunty n another cousin, had lamb meat for dinner as the main course, onion lamb meat, if u translate it literally will be how they call the whole course of the dinner. When to bath at the public bath after that.

Day 6:
Didn’t do much, watched dvd in the after, death note n silent hill a little then visited his aunt n went to the Korean restaurant w his mum n sis n my bf before the 2 of us went home for the departed n waited for the sis to continue silent hill. Although it was 31 dec we didn’t go anywhere n I dun even know what I was doing exactly when it striked midnite! First time that I am not at some countdown event what so ever but just at home doing nothing impt.

to be continue....ps: pardon my typo if any...in a hurry

2007-01-01T02:39:00.000+08:00

Heezzz….had a hard time coming up w the money n convincing my parents to let me go but as u can see it is done. Well, my mother was worried abt the cost of it while my dad abt the safety issue. But yet again, I haven’t left the country in the past 6 years n it’s the first time I m goin so far a place all by myself. Well, I am a little worried n scared myself but I think I am a big gal n know which are the official signage to follow.

Well, in change airport everything went smoothly. The air china plane that I took was pretty noisy, I hardly slept much on the plane even though I have both the window seats to myself. I will fall asleep for a while n then awaken by the noise again. I wasn’t scared of the take off or landing but found it rather interesting. There was nothing to do on the plane. No magazines, tv or anything at all. When the plane arrive at the Beijing airport, as all the other passenger “ports” are full, it stopped near the airport n we had to take a shuttle bus to the terminal. It was pretty cold as I was hardly wearing anything suitable for winter as my bf would bring it to the airport when he fetch me.

The 1st day:
His 2 cousins accompany him to fetch me from the airport n the feeling of being in Beijing was quite interesting. From a place that has everything in English to a place where everything is in Chinese; the trees shed their leaves n bare themselves in the winter cold. we had lunch at his house, then I watch him play pool with his friend, had dinner with his 2nd aunt n uncle then went to the public bath. The more memorable thing was the eating part. Their vege selection was diff from ours and I just had to eat it. His mother kept asking my bf to take food for me during lunch and his aunt did the same during dinner. I thought it was just polite n right that I finish anything that has been added to my plate. During dinner esp, I was having a hard time picking out the bones of the fish and when I was almost done with the fish, my bf would add more fish to my plate!!! Luckily his aunt recalled that western idea of eating out links courtesy and not being wasteful with eating your plate clean but over here in china, the people dun care about finishing the food, in fact we ordered abt 10 dishes when there was 5 of us only n at most each plate was half eaten, we did packet a thing or 2 home tho. It was then that I was saved and had a taste of the more authentic Beijing roasted duck.. the sauna was also interesting. There is a male and female section to it where u can bath, have message etc but only the guys have a giant pool inside to soak themselves in. well, the weird part about it was that all the pple who go there to bath will just bare themselves all the time until they change into clothes to leave the place or go upstairs to the entertainment cum rest lounge to wait for your hair to dry. Beside average entertainment on stage, they also have foot massage service which I had too….hehehehe….slept in the sister’s room

Day 2:
Hehehe….first time and it was a nice feeling to have my bf show me n help me mix the water in the kitchen for me to use to wash up in the kitchen, squatting above a plastic basin. Well, the main highlight of the day was to go to 1 of the town, xi dan, where u can find more of the small little stuff here and there in the shopping centre. On the side line, I also realized that it was pretty troublesome going to the toilet in public caz there are many layers that u need to take off. The jacket, the jeans, the cotton pants n the tights n nearly 99% of the time the toilets outside are the squat type w no toilet paper. There was nothing to see w regards to the clothes caz it was all winter wear and the part where u can bargain we didn’t patronize the area but just to walk pass it caz we are both not good at bargaining. Bought a mickey bag tho, schl side carry bag. Well, as for net prie places, the international brands things are priced the same or slightly more then in Singapore but I bought the mickey bag as it was a diff distributor and had a lot of things to choose from, much better than just clothes in Singapore. Had dinner at kfc that also had some egg tarts n other burger selection before we went to another place to buy quite a no. of pirated dvd to watch during the evenings for the next few days.

Day 3:
Watched dvd for the first half of the day. Btw, I forgot to mention that the sun sets at 5 and it is dark after 5pm here in winter n the sun rises the usual time of about 8 or 9 in the morning. After that we went have Korean bbq for dinner n the nice part abt it was that u can get the person to bbq it for you which was just perfect for both of us who dun really know how to bbq n is quite lazy abt it. Well, we ordered quite a lot for just the 2 of us and we were really bloated full that we had to tok for abt 1 hr to ease the feeling a little. We finished about 60% of the food only. After that we went to the sauna again n this time I was starting to get used to be naked around other gals in the gals section of the room.. well, caz my bf says that in winter clothes dun get dirty much caz we wear several layers n they are under the big jacket so its ok to just bath once in 2 days and wear the clothes for a few days before washing. All the while I was hoping for the snow as it was really cold.

Day 4:
Finally we went to the imperial palace to walk walk and we woke earlier to leave promptly after lunch. My bf has never been to the imperial palace himself either. Well, it was a day of photo taking and video of the imperial palace and tian an men. My bf kept saying that I only take the place without me in the pic but I argued that at least we are the photographers of the pic n video. We went into a lot of the small palaces but missed the bigger ones. Quite a no. of the small ones had a lot of artifacts displayed and the weather was really cold that day n my bf was complaining of being hungry as we were in there for a few hours n we were quite deep in already. The sad part was that there was quite a no. of buildings that was closed to outsiders n a few others were close for renovation. We finally decided to make do w instant noodles n whatever a small tore in wan qing yuan section had to offer to eat and boy must I say Chinese instant noodle is way better than the ones we find in Singapore caz they use real sauce n meat in it. But it was rather expensive according to my bf as this type of store is more of a trying to rip off the foreigners or visitors to the place. During winter the place closes early, at abt 430 and we left the palace just in time. But I must say that the common road or tiles from a palace to another can get quite rough at certain places. When we were leaving place, we pass by the part at that side, btn the imperial palace and tian an men, there was this place where u can change into the royals clothes n take photos. The winter was cold and after taking we waited a long time for the photos of which 1 out of 2 came out right. The one that came out right had me only. On our way home, I could swear that my toes were so frozen they were numb n the nail of the small toe was cutting the side of the other toe but there was nothing I could do about it caz it was too frozen to move much. My hands were also so cold that they were red n felt like millions of needles was poking them. We walked a log dist to try to get a cab but there wasn’t any luck, the one opposite direction had plentiful but on our side there was none. In the end we took bus back to a kfc to buy some kfc n change to a cab there. Nothing much happened after we reached home tho I must say we had a little argument btn the 2 of us here n there but it was fine.

to be continued....................

will add the pic when i get back to Singapore

2007-01-01T00:46:00.000+08:00

Heeezzzz…I think its been a long time since I last blog…will do a quick update of the past before I reveal the exciting now…..

Will, the exams suck quite a lot n now that I have gottn back my results I think even more so…..anyway after the last paper, microbio, I went out w my class n we saw a big watermelon busted woman wearing a super low cut v shagpe top that ended below the diaphrage position….

After that I went out a lot w my bf caz he was goin to leave for home soon. We went a bbq session in the wee hours of the night at ECP n I was dressed to my least…..a pink super short top n a hot shorts……then the following night we went to the ktv at cineleisure to sing n play until I was a little high n my bf actually threw up in the toilet. After that we went to our usual hang out place. Following that night, we went to watch casino royale in town. Then after that night again, I sent him off at the airport n I was pretty glad that I had denise to be there with me….

Toking abt denise…we had a little hipcup when we were goin over the old topic of expanding the wardrobe but as usual she resisted.

Days without my bf was boring….when I am at home I will just daze the day away. Went out to catch up w my last sem elective friend shiqi at bugis area. Went to priyanka’s house to play cooking lesson once. Met priyanka a few more other times to chit chat. Went to a Christmas thingy at my uni c;assmate’s church thingy which was moderately fun caz we get to chit chat again.

Besides the above, there was once my bf’s ex-college called his hp line which I was carrying n asked me out to join the group of them at the tiger live experience official launch at st james power station. It was kinda boring caz they bring up thru the history of tiger, tho a lot of effort has been put in but it doesn’t create any interest in you to want to know. That part of the night was a little irritating caz there was this part where the guy who asked us all out(he’s working in mediacorp so there’s extra invites) intro to a few strangers that me and the Beijing gal was his cousins when a few men wanted to get to know us n ask us to the other pubs to play n he actually just said take them with u n take gd care of them, all said without our consent. Then after midnite we all leaft for ktv cineleisure n then I realize that it was only fun coming out w them if my bf is around caz I will always be having the attention of my bf, not that I dun like to play w his colleagues but u know what I mean. Then when our room was “time’s up”, we went to another room which one of us knew the big boss of the room who was celebrating his bday. But by the time we got over the room was mostly empty. The irritating part in this section was that there was this guy who wanted to know me n get my no. in a not very smart way…….

He asked my name n then offered to cheers but as I did not have a drink w me then he mixed some liquor with coke n it smelled a little like the Chinese medicine for sprains. He then asked to sing a duet with me which I said ok n got a song which I don’t know (I did tell him that) and was singing right into my ear thru-out the whole gal part of the song. Then asked me to learn the song so that we can sing the song together next time. Then he asked my no. which I just said to ask that middle friend out n we will all come out to play n then he said he didn’t want to trouble him n wish that we can come out ourselves but I said that it would be more fun to come out as a whole. He got the idea n then left me alone for a while. Later on, when I was seating one the cushion chair, he came n seat beside me n I pretended that I didn’t realized. He later asked me to show him my hands which I did n then he put them together n then bring them to touch his forehead and then kissed my hand the western style. N asked for my no. I said u gota ask the middle person first which he did n of caz my friend did not give……

After all of that n a lot of boring days, days missing my bf ….my bf finally told his parents abt us n then it was a busy fluster to come over to Beijing……

I m in Beijing now but I think I wrote enuf for 1 entry…will say more in the next. Hopefully tml

2006-11-23T00:17:00.000+08:00

not feeling so good today....feeling sick.....felt like throwing up every now n then the whole day n did.........yuck

2006-11-21T22:36:00.000+08:00

Hey…come online just to blog for a while…..

Wad a long tiring day it was been n it’s also the fastest day of my life or so I think….

Well….my bf came to stay over last night n so I accompany him to his workplace where I meet Denise at habourfront towers for our chiong study day…..well I didn’t over much….

I spent A LONG TIME trying to recap my memory on the things that I need to memorize for the tcm paper…then it was already 230 in the aft. We wanted to go have lunch at vivocity’s long john silver but as were attracted to and spent a little while at this shop selling chap clothes…then at the shop my maid called to say that my mum was in tan tock seng hospital caz she fell down a short flight of stairs. So we went to novena sq to have our lunch at the long john there n then went to find my mum, my maid n my younger siblings at the A&E section…..

Spent a couple of hours there waiting for the doctor to review her n then the doc decided to keep her for about a day for observations caz there was a blurge on her head….in case there is accumulation of fluid in the head. Then she was sent to a ward n we had dinner before going up to visit her. Denise was being real nice to accompany me till nearly 7. Feel bad abt deprieveing her of proper time n space to study…..

So now I m back at home….and feeling really tired but know that I can’t afford to sleep much in the 2 nights to come caz I finish only about 1/4 of my things that I m suppose n plan to cover…..need to live on caffeine….

I think I better go n chiong now….jia you!!!!

Till then tc guys

2006-11-18T15:58:00.000+08:00

yoz...wazup man?!? hmmm....just ad a late lunch and blogging while i wait for my food to get digested....hehehe

wel, i had my anatonmy paper yrday which i think was disasterous! i can't spell an can't remeber so it was really quite bad. the truth was studying anatonmy was really terrible. i would be half dazing must of the time n i think that there is more words to remember in anatomy then in any other subject possible......after the paper i was kind of brain dead n knew that i won't be able to get any of the next paper into my head even if i tried. i will go crazy!!! so i decided to go out n the night has never been so long!!!

went to habourfront w priyanka to collect my 2 canon photo printers and then we wanted to walk around at vivocity but wanted to stone even more. so we went to the top floor's balcony to stone n tok about nothing n half the time i was looking into the resturant my bf is working at hopng that he will see me....

she really wanted to go clubbing but we seriously have no money n headed home at abt 11 i think. then i was online chatting w my far far away best friend li shan n looking at how i can sell the printer online. then my bf suddely sms to say that we will be going out later n asked me to dress up.

n so i did, i bathed n dressed up n we went n we went to find his friends at clark quay. it so happens that its becaz one of the guys has quit his job so they are all going out caz nex time will be hard to plan. was at some funny cantonese club which mainly attracted a not-so-young crowd....wonder why did they choose there. but it was better when we went to momo later.

it wasn't as crowded as it used to be. the songs are mostly quite old. then plus we didn't have much money to spent on the drinks we were all quite clear headed. there was this gal that my bf's friends found last night n the girl's friend. the girl herself was pretty drunk, say 70%?? then the guys were takng advantage of her n she didn't mind!she later brought her friend over who was pretty much the same. her friend left earlier but she was lingering back n forth. now here's the confusing part. the girl's friend had trouble contacting her friend n we helped to call. a guy appeared. gary(he's the one quiting) had a little heated arguement w him. in the end the gal unwillingly left w the guy. the same thing happened to her friend earlier one. later when my bf n i shared cab w gary, he then revealed that both the guys were not really their friends. they are friends that they just got to know that night in the club. they dun know where she stayed n only had the intention of having a one night stand. gary asked her directly for the other 2 of our friends if she mind going to bed with them. she said she didn't mind. asked if she mind if they send her back after bedding her, she didn't mind. weird kind of gal who isn't very good and wasn't pretty. both the gals are not fat but somewhere in between??weird.....

wondering how is my bf doing now since he only reached home at 530 n had work at 1030. ....

so after a whole night of play i think i have the determination n the energy to blast it for the next paper full force....内径, a tcm paper....

ok gtg now. need to blast off....for this paper is double the modular credit weightage then a normal subject.....

till the next time.....take care!!!

ps: pls forgive the spelling errors!!!

2006-11-16T02:56:00.000+08:00

Hey gux….actually wanted to come online earlier just now to blog but u know. Was toking on the phone n then there was other things…………

Well, I just had my first paper for the exams today. Physiology n it was disastrous! I must say that I was slack this sem n only managed to finish reading most of the notes in the morning before the exam….not like some of my friends who managed to try doing the pass year paper…I only managed to take a glimpse at them. The mcq as a killer but I started w the open ended essay 1st. as I went on, the information gets more n more mixed up in my head and there were some names of the hormones that I can’t spell etc etc….so when it came to the mcq, my head was really spinning.

Actually switching over to sony ericsson wasn’t that bad. The info booklet gives you little one-dimensional info so u are left w exploring the rest on your own. Although both my bf n I are not pple who like taking a lot of photos caz not photogenic I think but it is nice to play around w the camera. Gave up on my wait for the n73 caz the price don’t seem to be coming down as it’s nokia n anyway k800i has many similarities with it so….not that bad. Messaging? Well, I adapt quite well quite fast.

Well, got anatomy next which I think I am going to die to. As you read on there are more n more names to remember. I think I ever say before, I really love biology n all aspects of it except the spelling part….sigh….vexed….

Was just told by someone over the phone that I am a boring person that’s why pple don’ come n see my blog?? Sigh….maybe so….but how exciting do u want it to be? I got a stable relationship n am a student who needs and like giving tuition, who can be quite wild too…..

Why I call this blog lost in facades was to depict how many different faces each individual have and which is the closest to the true person or do they all constitute the same one person equally. Weird if you were to ask my but I always find that it is easier to be friendlier to total strangers than become friends then to be friends as quickly with the pple that you see more often eg like at a workplace or classroom…maybe it’s because you guys are strangers so you actually don’t mind the person knowing more about u as the façade being built with this person will be more in control? But still, if u guys become friends…it will still be verified right? Not that I am saying that we go round making a false front to befriend pple but I think starting with the partial kind of façade will be easier as u can asses roughly if you would like the person to know more about you. i think that’s the reason why I tale a longer tie then usual people to make friends in class when they are the people that I see most often besides my family.

This time for the exams…it’s been quite lonely. don’t have someone to study with, weep weep. I just can’t wait for all these to be over….

Did I ever mention that I used to be good at art?/ for those of you who know me long enough will know. Among the things that I have tried I love and am best at observational drawing, the kind that uses the pencil type and occasionally poster colour. But i stopped when I was in sec 2 caz my mm prefers me to study more. I have always been yearning to go back to such kind of drawing for I value capturing an item in as real as possible condition with my own hands out of nothing. Hopefully, during this hols, I can restart drawing again n hopefully get back at least half of what I am capable of last tie. Wish to practice more on charcoal drawing also.

anyway i gtg.....till i next come n blog again(think that will be after anatonmy), take care pple!!!

2006-11-13T01:45:00.000+08:00

hey guys........

won't be able to blog the next few days caz of the exams....i m in deep shit....struggling with the amt of work that i got to read n memo at the same time.....

my bf n i just got k800i(black) pretty excited but no time to go adjust the features etc....after this weeks papers ba....

ok gtg....till then take care

2006-11-09T22:52:00.000+08:00

just before i start my revision for the night....

have u ever been in a relationship with someone before? do u get jealous if ur partner does something with another girl, as in...maybe...say sing a few love songs together and didn't sing any with you? well....ya, as usual....what else can the boring me be talking about? here was how it goes....

actually planned to study late into the night when my bf called and said that heis colleges are going ktv n ask me if i want to go caz he wants to go n hopes that we can go together. well, given that my poor hubby works so hard it is difficult to turn him down. caz some of his nicer looking clothes was at my place, i had to deliver to him the clothes for him to wear out. we went to orchard's party world, reached about 1am n was there till about 5am. before reaching there we still had a little hipcup caz of some stupid cigarette pack that i didn't tell him early enought hat it was in the bag n he didn't brong. anyway.....besides the 3 colleges that went the other time too, there was 2 other guys, a one from philipines n another a local, i think. i did sing some songs that night, song songs together with everyonexcpt my bf. he was playing the hand game n some dice game every now and then. he did say n really did sing a song for me and it was my first tiem hearing him sing(you know it's different when u just sing and when you go the ktv to sing), he singa not bad. but i am not good at singing and all. sometimes because of the bloated feeling from the beer, i became monotone. the other times he sang were a few love songs witht the beijing gal.

so thats where the jealousy comes in. never sing w me n it's not as if he got sing w his other guy friends for fun. before we reach party world,he was pretty concerned if his hair was standing properly. first time u n ur bf go ktv but never sing with each other :( he sing with other gal. then u know they are both from beijing.....sigh....i am feeling sad n jealous for the whole day. the only song that i really like from last night and seems to ring in my head is a older chinese duet love song, which he sang with the other gal. ok, she can sing, better than me too...so u see it adds to it even more....

yet again, u know women can be petty about this kind of thing. but anyway its just sing song what....why link until so much? next time go can sing together wad....ya i know. i do hear my brain saying all that but still...sigh.....i must admit that i m thinking too much but i can't help it.....

i am feeling sad.....

2006-11-05T19:06:00.000+08:00

well....nothing much happen today....

Just realised that i haven't edited my personal profile for quite some time already...

been feling unhappy the whole day because of my bf again. caz he work until very late last night then very tired....thikning about how much that he has thinned in such a short while (his jeans is loose)and the even more dramatica change through the year....guess if his parents knew that he is doing thi job to try to stay in Singapore to accompany me, they will probably hate me =<

now i really think that being a housewife is not a bad idea. given my personality, i think at the very most i can only be part time house wife. but ya...i think that it would be nice to take good care of my hubby from as many aspects as possible. he's put in so much for me...i really want to do a lot for him but right now it is still pretty much lmited. maybe we will consider ROM next yr around my birthday, that way, he is not obliged to follow through with this boss.

you like the US TV series, Desprerate housewives? i love it. i guess besides all the juicy gossips that are entwined into the characters of the show, i huess, the people who watch it find some kind of similarities between the characters and themselves despite the nationality or ethnicity(hopefully i spell it right) etc etc....like i sometimes wish to be like Bree, a perfectionist which is one of my personality traits. but in the struggle to be perfect, it is realy tiring and hard to try to be the best when there is no best to speak of. kinda ironic but this is really a mental struggle sometimes that i think i am going mad at times. then i wish that i was like Gabrielle, hot but think its kinda hard....but just fantasizing. i liekt he why Lynette is, both mum n wife but as u can see there are hipcups but it is possi;be to make things work.....

k now...tok another...gtg bath eat, study study n more studying!!!

2006-11-04T23:51:00.000+08:00

PS: read this blog in with UNICODE(UTF-8 )...go to view, encoding and select unicode....

夕阳无限好，只是近黄昏。

(translation: Sunset, great as it is, a pity that its nearing the evening)

yup...that is themy feeling now. well, the last 24 hrs have been great. my bf boss let gives him half day leave is we were together for the first half of the day.....my poor hubby, the boss is a big evil devil (i know the devil is evil but yea,just to emphasis it even more). makes my bf work more than 12 hours everyday w only abt 5-6 hours of sleep everyday. big evil man....cux him.....my bf has greadually become thinner n thiner that i think very soon he will be skinny. ....he only gave my bf half day off caz my bf is down with a cold for a few days...coughing and such...as tho half a day is enuf, damn him....

but whtever, i must saw that it was the best half day we had in a long time. although we didn't go anywhere, he just came my house, go online, sleep and watch TV for awhile. it was nice just having each other around. then my sis brought my niece over for her weekly visits to our family every weekend. we went to the playground, the neighbourhood mall near by and such...sweet.

now that the day has endd, i m back to facing thefact that i had hardly done anything much for my revisions...kambate!! just 1 week to a 3 week long exams...wish me strength n most impt determination.....i think that will be all for today...

btw, the photo above was taken from the Bedok jetty in Singapore...i seldom take photos....caz dun think i look good in photos...ever so rarely will there be 1 or 2 that turns out nice....prob when i change my hp....and hopefully that will happen soon.

2006-11-04T00:07:00.000+08:00

this is something that i must definitely blog about...it's somethingt hat i have been waiting for a very long time to do......................finally i get to know some of the people who are in my bf's daily lives as in colleges that are nearly like friends......

not too sure if they are more of which or both but anyway....finally i might someone in his social life if you can call it that.well, he did show me to some people that he knew but by the time i get to know these people, most of the time, they don't meet up often anymore....like the teacher at the language school that he used to go...the friend that used to be in the same team as him etc etc. but ya....coming back to the main thing....i joined my bf to club with 3 of his other colleges.....when? last night!!! where? movida and butterfly......

prob u never heard of these clubs before but they are pretty new. the giant shoppig centre, vivocity is going to have a total of about 8 or 9 clubs that are opening all in the area n 3 of them already opened. we went to 2 ofthem....

Time: approx 1am-3am venue: movida(opp vivocity along the way to the sentosa bridge)

well.........it was pretty cheao, empty, cold, medium size/small place....his colleges were there much earlier than us....1 beijing gal, 1 local chinese n 1 local malay guy. they are all quite fun people to dance with. the local chiese boy is the pretty friendly, like to fool around kind of person....hmmm...hard to describe but personality is more towards the people relations kind of person....an in between of the friendliness of young Europeans and a local guy friendliness....he has a unique dancing style....hehehe....the beijing gal, quite pretty, taller than me and i would say that she can dance, not bad actually but whichever way, its still better than me....the local malay guy, much older than us, think he is about 40+, he's a father of a 16+ yr old gal, when it cmes to dancing...he is quite good in the kinds that require u to sway ur hips.

the place has a spanish(or so i think but its not english) resident band and it was ok-ly fun. caz didn't know what they were singing. but as the saying goes....well...i can't really remember but its something like music knows no barrier, music is a universal language....it was still enjoyable. the thing is becux i m more used to more pop music. my bf n i warmed up slowly to dancing. my poor bf was tired from a day's work...plus today is normal long working hours....wonder what is he doing now....still waiting for his call.....back again. the local chinese boy n the beijing gal congragulated me for having a very good bf who is so hardworking while the malay guy congragulated my bf on having a local gal like me for gf. (sorry, i'm not trying to be racist or what here, its just that i don't wish to mention names n can only think of calling them by their race or natioanlity)....we stayed till 3 when the club close...

time: 3-4+??am venue: butterfly (just around th corner of movida)

reason why i can't tell what time we were there till was caz i wasn't so clear headed by the time we left the place. the place had better music. but it was quite crowded, all the tables n chairs were taken n we had to wait for quite a while before the people there finaly found a table for us. while we were waiting, we were danceing too, temperature rises...hehe...it was quite fun. the nice part abt drinking is that it helps to dance more carefreely....by the time we got our table, the local chinese boy n the beijing gal was starting to really stone because ofthe alcohol. i got lime for them. it worked for the local chinese boy bu notfor the beijing gal. she rested for a while, was rying a little n was really drunk that she can hardly work or make her own way. i wasn't too sure what happen to them next caz i was busying kinda cuddling w my bf but after sometime we ralised that they had een to the toilet for quite sometime n when i went to check the gals toliet, she wasn't there n the boy's hp was off for a while. the rest of us left the place soon after n on our way back then the local boy chinese boy called back to say they already left.....

my bf came to my place to sleep for the night n we went ahead w school n work....quite tred but reallyfun....it was nce hanging out with his frineds but the most important part is nevertheless the being w my bf part....*smiles sweetly.....

my eyes are really shutting soon....gota go now....

well update soon again....

for now nites.....

PS: pls come read n tag more often!!! need to know there r pple who actually see / read my blog....pls forgive my english...its late

2006-11-01T15:45:00.000+08:00

pardon my typos...............

hmmm....it's been a long long time pple....hopefully i can revieve my blog successfully....

nothing much in my life has changed technically. In yr 2, time has flown by very fast n i'm aready nearly at the end of the sem. the sem was stressful n i was slacking....opps...hope that in the last 2 weeks before the exams the full force can help a lot. a few main things that happened.....

I really thought that my vj class will never gather but i was wrong. thanks to Mr Reuben(We are all very grateful!!) and about 1/3 of the class turn up. 8 of us. in the 8 pple pic above...from left to right...row behind: Galvin, Marcus, Han Wei, Gerard and Reuben the row in front: Cassandra, Charmaine, Me. well, we updated our no.s and it is quite nice to know that we haven't changed much, still the sane pple cracking the cold jokes and stuff...we made a marketplace out of the PS Swensens where we had lunch. although it was just a short lunch gathering butit was nice to know roughly where are some of your friends and that they are all doing pretty well....i guess we can't ask for more....hopefully, we can work out another gathering in december :)

as for me and my bf(well, i have to mention him, given that our lives kinda revolve around each other)....was looking for a room to stay together then his boss suddenly last min arrange for him a place to stay when he didn't want to earlier. well, after the old resturant closed n before the new one at vivo city opened, it was quite fun since we could see each other quite often, and for long periods of time. coming to my house to watch vcd, go onlin n play his fav poker game etc etc, just being together was really quite nice. now, he's applying for ome form of EP pass based on his coaching qualifications and we are waiting for the results. if it doesn't pass thru then he's gota go back for a month or 2 or so i hope to come back later n apply w a culinary cert. well, we were hoping that i could go back w him or join him there few awhile n he can show me to his family n friends there....keeping my fingers crossed.

streaked my hair red earlier but it faded to brown in about 1 week. i actually didn't want red but the hairdresser, kinda recommended it. well, if uwere to look at it from another angle, it's like you get to have the fun of 2 colours instead of just dying it brown n having it to remain at that colour.

to think back on why i called this blog lost-in-facades....well, i must say that everyone knows what i am trying to mean when i say that people often wear different mask in their daily lives, sometimes several mask in a day when they are w diff groups of pple. it's sad bt i think that it is also a means of survival as to not reveal to much of yourself in order to protect yourself.

i got this gal frien of mine who tends to forget the existance of masks and often get too emothional or hurt by things or words that other pple say. then i would analyse out the situation for her. it's always a 2 way thing. i think i mentioned it in a very very eraly blog of mine. u can't treat the other person as a friend if the other person does not treat you as a friend. u can't love the person if the person doesn't love you back(maybe exception for parents to children kinda love) but it is the sad truth. i had a GP tutor who said that the reason why people love each other is beacause they need to feel loved. if it's a 1 way kind of thing, even if it's the kind of i only wish the best for her kind of love, the one forking out the love will feel sad inevitably but how sad depends......apply this to all relationships....the world seem like such a bleak place? i think so too but don't worry..the fools are always the hapier lot for they do not know what they are losing....

2006-10-31T14:32:00.000+08:00

the beginning of the revival of my blog.............

hehe....caz i am a little the IT dumb dumb....didn't quite know how to upload photos n photo albums etc..

heezz...my friend at the BMS course, Leqi just showed me how to upload...so here asre a feww of them.....

below are the a few pics that i took w my bf when we went to MOS and swensens.....

will update it again later.....

2006-06-06T21:32:00.000+08:00

dated 4th april

Hey…it’s been a long time since I last blogged as you can see and that was beforethe exams….let m see what I can recap for you guys(hopefully there is pple reading)

Well, the exams were a little horrendous. I think I put in too much effort in trying to remember the Chinese medicine stuff that after that paper, kind of lao hong(gas leak), got more and more sian of studying. I don’t know how the grades will turn out but I must say that I really put in a lot of effort this time round, more then the last. Went to the national library to study a lot of times and then it junk food a lot! Most unhealthy point of time in my life!! And then after the exams, I relised I gained 1.4 or 1.6 kg since 3 months ago!!!

Wanted to work out everyday to get rid of it but in the end can’t was caught up in a lot of job stuff

Immediately after the papers, I worked at kah motors for a week as data entry. It was a bloody boring job of keying in customer’s feedback cards into the laptop that was on the verge of breaking down. The gal who communicates with me was also a pretend to be nice bitch. She has nothing much to say to me and on my last day of work, I was sms-ing my friend caz I was still indecisive whether to quit or not. Then she kept nagging indirectly so many time to ask me to hurry up. Then the thing was that it was a sat when I told her I wanted to quit, it was half day so the day ends at 1230 and when I told her that I wanted to serve 2 weeks notice at 1030, she said immediately in a extremely hack care manner, “oh, actually we actually want you to work until today will do”. Then I was damn pissed and black face, what a bitch!!!

I was happily jobless for a few days after that and then on the immediate Wednesday to follow, I stated working at M-industries and was there till today. I was at bugis for that half a week and then at plaza sing outlet the next 2 weeks. I was actually quite contented with my job already because it was part time and it only starts at 10 and it is so convenient. But then without much of an effort, I found a job at an Austria bank that I tried last Friday and it was ok but I know that normal office hour 5 day week plus tuition will mean no life at all. Sigh….miss working in raffles place tho.

About my bf, well, things have been ups and downs during that period of time but most of it nice of course. Well, the thing is that his boss suddenly wants him to go back to china to learn some cooking stuff and then this was the trick that he used to get another friend of his back. Then his boss said that he will not cancel the work permit and it is until april. But the ting is that the boss is a fickle minded person. So the thing is, if he can’t come back next year, I will go visit him in December, most probably the whole of December and we will visit each other during my hols until I go there in 2008 or we can ROM and get him a long tem social visit pass and then he an find work that he like in Singapore.

Other updates include……………an amazing rage that I felt after so many years and it was towards Gwen. I need not mention the turn out except that I am highly likely to be bloody pissed off for a very long time to come……….I just earned myself a pair of charles and kieth shoe by deciding to help my friend’s friend by being his dinner date in some army ball dinner. It was the old pair of charles and kieth shoe that I had. I like the design very much but the old shoe has already worn off quit a lot. Then the guy didn’t turn up and my friend bought the shoe on his behalf and treat my to a cartel dinner. Cool, all expanses paid…….

2006-03-28T16:19:00.000+08:00

I must say that i'm a supporter most of the time but this description is describing just a too perfect supporter....which i know i am not....

You're a Steady Supporter

What Kind of Girlfriend Are You?

Brought to you by Tickle

Stand by your man — that's just something you naturally do. Once you've committed to a relationship, you are a constant companion who enjoys the comfort and stability that comes from being a couple. Not quick to judge, accuse, or think the worst, you have a lot of trust (in him and in yourself), and you rarely worry about where he is or who he's with.

For you, mutual respect is of utmost importance. You are comfortable and confident in your own skin, making you a great pillar of strength in all your relationships. Whether he's striving to climb a mountain or land a promotion, you have his back. Best part is, you know he's got yours too.

2006-03-14T18:06:00.000+08:00

no matter how optimistic i am most of the times, there is just sometimes that one true fact that you cannot escape. the world at large is so much so lacking in love but a lot more of selfishness.

if only selfishness was love also, then i think that the world could become a paradise.

well, i dun know what the F*** is with humanity at large, well, i am a human too and i do ask myself this question but it is so much so in us to judge and try to lump our standards,expectations our understanding and opinions about a certain thing or person and be so firm about it when most of the time, we are all just ignorant fools trying to decieve ourseleves that we know so much and have seen so much and therefore can say whatever we say. although i have back slided from christianity but i do remeber that there is so many parts that remind us that we should not judge others for we will be judged by the same standards when we see GOD. we are not good enough no matter our age, our academic knowlegde, our social standing, experience, wealth that will allow us to judge another. the most ugly part about it is when you make a negative judgment, share and even when you know and can tell that the person didn't quiet like or agree with you, u still go on and propagade your idea.

well, i must say that i am careless with my words at times, some of my friends would agree with me that i am more of a guy than a gal in so many aspects(except with my bf off caz) succh as my thoughts, my straightforwardnes which is to some a bluntness, the way i think and so on and so forth. an i must also say that i am the type that will go into an arguement to support my stand but very seldom is it about something that is near to judging another human. watch your tongue. GOD made humans with 2 ears and 1 mouth for us to talk less, listen more, the tongue is evil like a serpent. i am trying my best to leaern that. well, recently, i started with basic chinese medicine module and there was something that i thought was really true and would like to share.

i can only say that i am not sure but cannot conclude that it does not exist for i have not seen all possibilities of the object

think about it. don't be too fast in concluding and try to deliver your thoughts as your own and don't try to convert other people. there are so many alternatievs in the way you can look at something or someone, instead of going thru the trouble of considering it all, why not just dun judge?? unless it is vital to your survival or in terms of a business venture.

what prmpted me to post this is the comments and the way pple around me, even my close ones have on my relationship with mny bf, a young man whose academic area is not too standard by their standard of caz. well, i must say that falling in love is easy but maintaining a relationship is difficult, much less a loving relationship. although we are happy together, people's views and their treatment is much lesser then what we deserve.

that's why sometimes i don't understand why there is so much mother and daughter-in-law fauds. if both of you really love someone, both should put in effort to have a harmonious relationship for that person's sake if it is not for your own sake.

only fools will judge others as fools, real humanity people respect the dignity of others, no matter great or small

2006-03-14T18:04:00.000+08:00

Well, it has been almost a month since the last time I blogged and I must say that there are many and a few things that I can share…about my life….what do I mean by little and many at the same time?

Well, little in the aspect that my life still revolves about school, tuition and my bf; many in the sense that a lot of things have developed in these areas lately.

Well, about 3 weeks ago was the inter-semester hols and all was going on quite well but for only one spoiler. Well, on that Friday morning, when I was still sleeping, my ho rang and it was the person who was in charge of the hostel tuition that I teach. She called just to inform me that that day itself would be my last day. Bitch! The reason given was that the girls had other plans and who in the freak would ever do something like that? You know, I was pretty nice w the kids there and everything was going on very well, and even if they want to change a tutor, I think that it was only courtesy that they tell you a few lessons before hand and not just today is yor last day thingy. Since, I have 2 assignments at the hostel, this meant that my income plunged by nearly half and I immediately went on to find new tuition jobs to try to cover the loss. With the mentality that I would take if there is and if there isn’t any assignments then I will study. Well, to day, I have started on a new sci 3 maths assignment and sec 4 maths, recovered more or less. Will be packed with tuition after the exams since I will be taking on another sec 4 student.

Thoughts on this……it is all these little things that I sometimes think that it is useless being nice to the people around you sometimes. Some bastards just don’t have that kind of courtesy to have least treat you with respect.

About school, I will just say BUSY quite a lot of things have been happening lately. Well, I remembered the quiz dates wrongly twice!! The first time, I thought that it was a week earlier then it should be and spent a large majority of my time during the hols to study for it. The other one was just that I thought that it was earlier by 1 day. Well, the quiz that I studied twice for was in itself quite simply the other one was just average.

For my batch of students onwards, electives that we take will have the same weight as you core modules. So the university did give some lee-way out, we can declare if we want to use satisfactory/unsatisfactory options which will be the words to appear in your transcript and not taken into the calculation of GPA. Well, I didn’t use the options last seem to leave it for later electives but silly me missed the date to declare. Damn…need to study for they management module that I took and it is not open book. Damn.

Looking at the amount of time left, damn…there is so much to study yet so little time.

Thought on this……….I will try my best,. The first week is the most difficult but after that it is more widely spaced out…..argh….wonder how much midnight oils I need to burn…..regret not learning “breakthrough in speed reading”…..hmmm….anyone heard of speed reading for Chinese?

Well, about my bf the issue of how to let him stay here till I go to Beijing in 2008 is troubling us lately. Then the other day, we tried to go MOMO with the NPCC gals thinking that a lot of people went but in the end there was only veronica and Linda. Then, the trouble was that all his official documents have his age backdated by 2 years and because of that, he couldn’t enter. Luckily, Linda attracted some member’s attention who in the end help us get in thru the member door with no obligations. That is the good part about getting to know the members there, they usually don’t check at all. That week was our happiest week for so long. We met on wed night; he cut his hand on thurs night so I brought him to the doc, then on fri MOMO and on Saturday, our usual overnight meeting.

Thought about this…..can’t wait to get to Beijing, there won’t be so much restrictions…can see my bf more and he will be in a more comfortable position caz he no need to work in this shitty job anymore.

2006-02-16T20:41:00.000+08:00

Well well well,….i always believe in hearing the bad stuff first then the good stuff.

Well, you see, I was pretty down on luck last weekend. I had to hand in 2 lab reports on Monday and had already completed the first one in a thumb drive which I borrowed from my mum. On sat, when I tried to open the thumb drive at home, the thing spoiled. All information was lost. I even went to priyanka’s house to try opening it but It just can’t open. So I needed to recall everything that I ever wrote in the report and work on the 2nd report. Well, when I was about to finish the 2nd report, it was already way pass dinner time and so I thought that maybe I could just save the thing and go eat first. So I did and put the computer to sleep mode. After dinner when I returned to retrieve the file, the 2nd report cannot be opened and it is stated that it was corrupt. Then I tried to recovery the file. Man….down down on luck.

Well, recently I just bought a Samsung YH 820 5GB but then I realized that it is not so good as it’s play time is really short. I got it from yahoo auctions, a relatively good deal at 260 when it is very new and was only 6 months old.

Well, my dear li shan is back in Australia to study and I intended to see her off which I didn’t but I had a relatively nice night myself. Well, caz initially, my bf say that can’t meet on sat night since he needs to work on Sunday morning but last minute then boss say that let others take that part of the job. Well, since we ar both very very cash strapped, he came to my house, arriving at about 2 plus and after so long, he had some leisure of music, checking his QQ and playing games. Then he got hungry and I was pretty ashamed that there was nothing in the house to cook. Well, there was instant noodles but it was pure noodles and there wasn’t even an egg to add to it!! Well, so we went to try our luck and a 23 hour prata shop near my place and on our way there and back, talked and such. Then he was sleeping pretty honestly thru the night. As my family went to visit my cousin who has just given birth to a very very pretty baby girl(her eyes are really big for a 2 week old), we parted quite early.

Then in V day, there was a little hiccup before the meet up but all went pretty well and smooth. I had my nails done for him. So we met near his there the 24 hr mac since he wasn’t sure what time he can meet me so I just waited there but it was only for a while. Then we walked to esplanade and stayed there till they off the heart shape lights. With the moon shining above us, it certainly felt as if day was near. We were together till about 8 plus then I borrow his jeans to go to school. That’s because at first say is go my house so he had extra clothes so borrow so didn’t want to wear my short flare skirt to school. Well, he got me a necklace, last min single rose and a bit of chocolate but it was the spending it together part that matters the most since in the last 2 years we didn’t manage to as can’t meet or he still on holiday in China. But it was quite sad as he got a smaller waist then me, I fit into his 29 caz I m a 28 but he is much smaller than his jeans.

All else is nice

But mid sem break coming up and that means it’s super mugging time and I haven’t been doing anything at all.

sian

2006-02-06T14:33:00.000+08:00

Hi there….I m now in school procrastinating about my practical reports….

well, let me try to recall some of the more interesting things that happened since the last time I blogged.

Chinese New Year eve………well, the day before the eve, I went to bugis village to buy this nail polish that I tried before at one of the manicure shops. It’s like a mood kind of nail polish that changes with temperature so it’s quite cool. not very common in Singapore yet. Well, the further ends of the nails will adopt a darker shade of the polish then the part that is in contact with the flesh. So it’s like there is a gradual change towards a darker colour. If ur hands are cold, it will be dark totally(eg. dark purple) and light purple if it’s warm…cool right? After buying the nail polish then my bf sms me to say that he off on the eaerlier half of the eve and having dinner with his boss. Well, there was some resentment as I didn’t tell him that I have practical on every Saturday morning as I thought he may never be able to off so early. But still we met on the eve at bugis then went down to orchard. Had our rings polished, lunched at swensens and went a little window shopping(more of for his clothes and pleasure), last but not least, our usual hang outs. He was quite generous in paying for the day’s expenditure and I found out much later as it was because his boos gave him a red packet and it was that which foot our bills that day.

First day of the New Year……well, it cannot be described in one word. It began happy and all, with my bf coming over to my house in the morning and he was unusually quiet but it is normal as he says that he is usually like that and on top of that I was away most of the time or not talking to him as I was putting nail polish etc. The other nice thing about that day was thatwe managed to take pfoto together and we realy hardly took many photos in our 2 years plus together. The phoo taking was a long process as my mother’s hands we not steady and my dad really cannot appreciate the art of having us in the centre of the photo. After that it turned for the worst. Well, I knew that it will get bad as I was having my first day but it was totally horrible. Shortly after getting to my grandmother’s place, I was like a half dead person. It was so fast that it was like a flip of a hand and I am totally dying. Well, but I must say that I was glad that I managed to show him to all of my relatives. But the not so nice part was that they were critical about our being together just that they didn’t say it…but you know….you can guess from the kind of questions that they ask……sad….

Second day went by quite quickly, wa feeling okay. Nothing much to mention.

3rd day was a little of a disappointment in the beginning. Well, Ron invited Farah and I to his place and everything was settled. Then at 8am in the morning, Farah sms to say that she was going to her aunt’s place for lunch and when I asked if she would join us I going out to meet Li Shan who has just returned from Australia(studying there) there was no reply. It was averagely bored at his place. No one to talk to. He needed to entertain other guests. I didn’t know anyone there at all. When we finally met li shan for some catching up, and such, we also went to watch fearless. Well, it was sad as farah was quiet disappointing as a friend, need I mention best friend, in trying to keep in contact and appearing when she promised.

Went out for a while to meet my bf on about wed night and we bought a bottle of red wine. Think we drink too fast and I was quite drowsy after that. We met that night as he was saying that he needs to work on Sunday morning and that means that we cannot meet on Saturday night which we usually do.

Last Saturday was boring, dull as it was normal that we meet. It was just tuition, sleep, tv. Then at night because I really want to meet and he did too, we didn’t care and just sneak out to meet for a couple of hours. It was better than nothing.

Then on Sunday, I think I was cursed with some terrible stroke of bad luck. It started out well as I was suppose to meet Li Shan and Farah to go out for a while when I received a call from my bf, saying that he is released for the day already. We all went out for a while and later for our on activities, we went to have dinner and watch fearless as he wanted to watch the show. Then it started. We were troubled about where to go and spent the rest of the night and decided that we would go to out usual hang out and buy some drinks and relax etc. Then when we got there, it was drizzling. Then, there was this shop house at the bus stop that had some big altar and we walked in front of it(maybe this thing cursed us). We made very fine calculations about the cash that we have on us and decided that we will nets it at the 7-11. First, the nets machine not working. Then before we could do anything, second, his boss called him to say that someone didn’t turn up and wants him to go back immediately. Then, the rain was getting heavier by the minute and there was no available taxi in the area. Then we decided that we would walk towards the main road, towards parkway parade bus stop, we were all wet and still not cab. The cab hotlines are not getting through. It was raining heavily by now. Then, because I was ignorant, I caused us to miss the first 179 that would bring us to his place. Then when we were on the bus, he just suddenly got up and went to stand some where. I thought what was wrong and went to tag his shirt. Then after a while he turned and revealed that it was because there were familiar faces that just got on the bus and chided me for still tagging his shirt. This is incident 3, he always never say and expect me to know and it would be partially caused by him being stressed about his work. Incident 4, I thought that he was suppose to get off at the bus stop opp bugis junction and before he could say anything I pressed the bell and no one got off. He then accused me of kept trying to delay him. I was very upset. Incident 5, when I was thinking of taking a cab back, I then realized that I dropped the money meant for the cab somewhere along the way and I was cash-less!! I then needed to brave the heavy rain to the other bus stop. Incident 6, the bus that I got on was quite dirty, and there was a baby cockroach that went into my jeans. I felt something at mid shin n quickly turned my jeans the other way around. How’s that as bad luck?!?! He hardly chides me so much, the money, the stupid bus…

Well, now I am in school and I think I had better get into doing my practical. Maybe if I can find time, I will go borrow the reference books to do some note making. Hope this bad luck goes away by itself really immediately.

See ya

2006-01-24T13:44:00.000+08:00

well....it's break time now....i'm in the school library to print notes....sounds boring? i think that it's boring too.

well, the past few weeks have been school in gth earlier half of the day and tuition on most evenings.

about tuition. things changed a little. the hope;ess RI boy who i was teaching has scored aabb for his maths and sci-es. then his mother quiet pleased want me to continnue and is going to let me teach his younger sister. her plans are for me to teach them on a long term basis. then the hostel assignment is so far so good. then i need to let go of my PRC students and it was quite sad. well, they really do eat up quite a bulk of my time and that are not very receptive when i am teaching but u know, after teaching for such a long time, we are all very nice to each other. but because of time constrainst and that my taiwan student has called to say that he is back, i really do nee to drop them. but i certainly hope that it won't end there.

well, as for school, it is getting really broing. at first i thought that since school end at about 1 on mst days and tuition only starts in the evening and that i can study a little, well, it has not been that way. very fast the time seems to slip me by and i can't allow it. frankly speaking i m also quite tired. caz i sleep at abt 2 everynight w the last 1-2 hour sms-ing my bf. then the chinese medicine module....feeling so vexed lately because there are jus so many words that i can't writre out. sian.

then i really feel like buying a good mp3 player now since i think i really need it. besides the obvious usage as a mp3 player, i certainly wish that i could also record the chinese lesson and probably be able to replay it on a later time which is what the most of my classmates are doing. i can't gurantee that i will listen to every lesson but i can if i need to refer back to something right?then the practicals and projects are starting again and i dun have a thumb drive or something which is really quite inconvenient since i don't spend a lot of time in school and home at 1 shot. sian....

well...i guess i need to go get back to my work now....

anyway i bought a lot of nice chinese new yer clothes n such. tok abt it the net time k?

just in case i dun blog before the new year....happy chinese new year guys....

2006-01-07T17:07:00.000+08:00

well, quite glad that i actually had a comment for the last post...it has been ages since i last had 1. anyway,been to the ranger's blog. ir u are reading this too. your post abt the car was pretty interesting.

well, now that new year has started. I kind of miss a few people. one of them is theo. it has been centuries since she last posted and i just hope that she is fine in canada, all school and friends. Although I have heard of it before, but it is still quite hard to imagine why there is racism in Australia. quiet bad too...as in they throw things at u and yell at you. well, there is racism in singapore also but it is more mild in terms of the way people are treated. i still cannot figure out for what bastard-ly reason why isit that the whites seem to often have a higher ranks then the locals here when we are the ones who ran this place. sad to say, it's us, chinese locals on top of the other races and then the foreigners who are here on low end jobs. i was asking my boyfriend a few says back and he also agreed that locals treat china chinese poorly but assured me that we will be treated reasonsbly if things were the othr way round. shame on singaporeans.

let's see. school has started and it feels like it's primary or secondary school days since i start at 830 everyday and finish at 1 on most days. a pretty good time table. an it was quite exciting trying to fight for places in the accountancy elective that quite a no. of my friends are taking. kept on pressing n searching for someon to let go of the place and registering urelf simultaneously.

met my boyfriend on one of the nights and it felt horrible the next day caz of lack of sleep.

hey, for the first tiem, all my new year clothes was bought without any of my family members being there w me and i have finished buying them all. a SEED jeans, a nearly transparant flare holter, a silkly thin n light short skirt. i alrady found he shoes but i haven't bought it yet.

started my traditional chinese medicine module this semester and i must say that i think itwill be quiet a horror. since punctuation was an inventary later on, mos of the ol relics have the words in the pictorial or chinese form then we must try to guess what is the word from the drawing of it, and then decide if the word bares a different meaning from now and also puctuae the relics. =x

meeting my boyfriend later.

sad that me gpa is only 3.4 which means i will get a 3rd class or just a pass degree so i need to mug like mad to push theat no. up

ok...got to go...

2006-01-02T17:16:00.000+08:00

well....today is the 2nd of Jan 2006....happy new year people....hope u guys had a nice new year!!

well...let me recap...

on 30th night, the NPCC gals had a impromtu last minute gathering to go to MOMO. it was alrightly fun. grace came...hardly see her unless its gathering time. dancing was fun in the later part oly. reason caz when i was w veronica n her friens, i has a back-drop caz they danced in n enclosed circle n i was facing her back. when left with veron n linda on the plstform, it was boring too as caz they were dancing together...it was fun other then that....fun to seemingly flirt around...well, there was a couple who wanted to dance w me, one of them i accidently ht his lower jaw w my shoudler, the other i didn't even bother to acknowledge he is behind me, the other pulled me over when i held his hand for what seems to be an invite to handshake but i was immediately saved out of it by grace

31the was slighltly less fun. woke up late. winnie cancel mting up. then i find priyanka n ruby, made plans to watch vcd at ruby's then go down town east. then winnie called again to say to meet, by that time couldn't.ruby ended up helping a her grandma's stall, n we went to look for her after dinner, go her place, wait for her to be ready n then go to down town east, reach at 1155pm. it was boring music. at 1 we went to the mac there and sat there for a while n that was more enjoyable. then i went to meet my bf. he was slightly more caring. then we had a hard time trying to get a cab at 3 am plus in his area. kept on calling till i had a hp on each side. we were together till abt 1 pm.

cam home for a while then went to denise house ytday to watch LOTR marathorn w the first 2 instalments extended. slept over.....

sigh....tml...start schl liao...sian...need to register subjects tml then i think i might really earn big from tuition if i wan to....

got to go now...going to watch 2nd round of narnia

2005-12-28T19:43:00.000+08:00

plz leave a taggy n vist often

Heezzz….finally my computer is back up. Actually I came online the last few times in the hope that I would be able to write my blog entry but I was too lazy but there was a lot of things that happen…..

I will try to be as chronological as possible……

Starting with his birthday. Well, in th end we went to our usual hang out n I must say that everything made me quite careless and certainly quite hurried. Well, there was cast away on ch 5 that day and I was trying to watch it until it was time to make my last min deco on the cake caz can’t pu the cream n stuff too early. I decorated the edge with a little cream n some half strawberries and drew a pic of a birthday cake in the centre. I must say that at the end of it, I was quiet proud of myself since I never decorated a cake before but disaster befall. The cover that we had for the cake was to low. The first time that I tried to place it on n put the scotch tapes at the side, the picture was smahed. Quickily I tried to save it(the cake is like a hill top). Then I think I will not try to hard but just cover it gently…to my horror it happened again n I had to save it again. Finally I saw that it was the cake was too tall and as long as I were to put on the cover, the picture would be affected. Then in the end, I hand carried the cake n all, with the help of my sister, to get a cab n just held the cake all the way. Will he was saying that he didn’t like strawberry and it was kind of weird caz the very first thing he see when my cab comes in was the cake was on my lap. It was a nice time together and I was glad that he liked it…well….it was the least sweet tasting cake n deco that I could find.

In the week that follow12-18 dec:

In the middle of the week, I meet my ntuc cashier friend last time, wei xiang and we have 2 nights out. Well, there was NYDC and movie(perhep’s love) but me bf wasn’t too happy about it but it was settled shortly afer that n I meet him for the first time on a week day on thurs for a couple of hours after his work caz he finished early.

Then on the Sunday, there was supposed to be a track outing that Karen organized but there was only 4 people who turned up, yi shan, shun hua, desiree and me. The organizer herself was sick and the rest of them were either busy or sick. We lunched at asian kitchen at city link, catch up a bit and then we walked desiree to city hall mrt caz she was going to meet her mother. I hanged out w the couple for a while n I surprised myself that I actually bought a book!!! Tittle: Men are from mars and women are from venus. Well, why this book, I have been thinking that many of the quotes on the pages were really quite true n I must say that I didn’t regret it. I m still I the earlier half of the book n it seems to be a dictionary to common misunderstanding n unhappy feelings that even the most loving couple will often have. Share w you some. They say that women speak in metaphorical or poetic languages while men abbreviate what they want to say. Eg, if a women complains u man is unromantic, she meant to express how much she would love to be romantic w the guy again after so long but the guy often mistaken it for a complain that he is not romantic n might quarrel or say things like ask her to settle it herself. Another thing was the way they handle stress. Men like to solve their own problems and often retreat into themselves while doing so; women like to talk about it, look for empathy and then she will feel better. Common misunderstanding is the woman’s endless qns if a man says he’s alright but she feels different. What he meant to say was he is alright about handling his own problem but she would hear it as he is not going to share because he don’t love or care enough too. The other is from the complaint that man don’t listen. Men are Mr Fix-it while women are the Home –improvement committee. When a women complains about her day, he will often mistakenly, think she is looking for solutions and offer her some and she will get more upset caz she only wants herself to be heard.

In the week that follow19-25 dec

Went to watch king kong with my PRC tuition boys after tuition on Tue. The movie was great. Peter Jackson has done it again. Tho long, the movie leaves u a pitiful feeling for the dead king kong. Many thrilling scenes like running and fighting for ur life from the dinosaurs. FUN. EXCITING. After that I brought them to walk around as far and as long as they could. Slowly and gradually from town till the merlion.

Was damn pissed on Wednesday night. Our dear li juan asked to go zouk with her on a ladies night and not only was she bloody late, she was still in her hall and I had to cab from town to nus to fetch her highness. She had the audacity to actually come out to play without having any form of cash with her!! It was a long queue into the place but the most pissing part was that it wasn’t fun at all because she had to take part in ruining it. The freaking ex of hers is drunk n she sent him home and I was left there by myself for a while till I decided to go home. The whole night, the money I brought which was meant to bring fun was spent on her stupid cab fare n mine when I go home. I had not even a drop of water the whole night. So much for ladies night huh?! Fancy her having the cheek to mention that whenever she goes out its her guy friends who buy. *!*@#%!!!

Thurs was a dinner date for moses’s OCS. Quite boring tho. An then I met my bf after coming home to change. We had a bit of a huge quarrel because of some accumulated unhappiness on his side and the whole thing became quiet drama-mama that I didn’t quiet believe it myself. Anyway, unhappy things aside. Its rainbows after a rain.

Went out w Winnie on Christmas eve and as expected there was after activities. We had thai express and had a little of a walk around in orchard before we met her friends and went to this pub/club behind HMV. Never knew such a place existed. The age ranges there is quiet wide and except for the songs in the hour before and after midnight, the rest was horrible. Had a bit of a dance fun caz the mood was there to be daring and play. But I must emphasise that I was not even close to feeling slow due to alcohol, much less drunk. So it was all in the moment’s enthu. Never been drunk yet. They ordered a CHIVAS which was meant to be mixed with green tea or wad before drinking. I didn’t have too much caz if I put too much chivas, I just felt like throwing it away. The taste was bland till the near extreme so I lessen the dosage after.

These 2 days, wei xiang came over to play w my blades at night.

that's all folksssss.............

2005-12-08T11:25:00.000+08:00

Hmmm....did blogspot just changed it's system or wad? i dun noe why my log in page is all in traditional chinese text....not that i can't read it but u noe...it's funny....

well.....sorry guys....my com had some major crashed recently n i m at my friend's house blogging. well, i would say that the exams are over was a good thing for me but after that when i started to look for a job...it was hard caz its only a month...i thought i would just rely on tuition for income for the 1 month and then my taiwanese student said that they are going back to taiwan for a month...sian...no income from them for a month.

i dun noe if i have actually blogged hat i have a new student. this ri boy who is gifted but failed his scis n maths and may drop back into the o lvl system as he is in the trhu train system. he never does any of his work n it is getting a little hard to teach him....

well, let's see what i have been doing....well, it is nearly official that i will leave my house at abt 2am on sunday mornings to meet my bf caz of lae, that is the only time that he can sneak out and does not have to do a morning shift the next day. then i have tuition almost everyday but when the taiwanese student leavs, i will have thurs completely free.....well, i went roller-bladding once and i meet my ocbc frein zhong wei n went to the movies w him once n m meeting him to buy blades....really hopr to really be able to blade properly well by the end of the hols....caz i have been learning it on n off a few times and i want to get it right and done proper this time. i met hui ying to go out walking around once. then my bf bday....i don't know why i actually tagged te wrong date on my hp n thereafter every time i looked at it i only focuse on the day and overlooked that date....until last night my bf was saying that his bday wasn't monday u know.....opps....dun noe what i have been thinking......then i also m doing the cross stitch of precious moments that i haven't complete during june. that day when i wen out w denise, i bought a thick a3 block n some professional pencils...so u know i can draw when i want to but as u know i m the type that will xin tong if use new nice things. then also no inspiration. .....well...everyday is like that...sometimes watch the dvd serial that i borrowed....

okay...i think i muz go now. going to buy some ingredients n make some stuff for my bf...:)

thanks for the taggy guys.....pls continue to visit!!!

2005-11-21T16:22:00.000+08:00

(PLS PPLE..LEAVE A TAGGY?)

Sigh…I meant to write this blog earlier but was a little busy n tired after everything that has been happening in the past few days….

!st I LOST MY HP LAST WED!!! Well, u see, during exam, the students are required to put their bags outside and then I did. When I came out, my whole bag was missing. There was my hp inside and my mp3 player and some notes that was for that day’s exam. Then there was also the address of a new student that I was suppose to try out this the following week. So I called m1 o cancel the sim card and then I went down that day itself to take the new sim card. Lucky for me, I still have the faulty sim card from half a year ago so I got it transferred to the new sim card. Then as for th hp part…it was a big headache. M! can only give me a 10% discount on the retail price or add a 100 bucks to the hp promotional price and then sign on a new 2 yr plan. I used a brother-in-laws nokia 7600 for a while but it was too difficult to use. I take a very long time to sms because all the no. is in 2 vertical columns at the side. Luckily, me elder sis hp is under corporate plan and is eligible for a special price 2 yr plan upgrade n I got nokia 6230i. it is a pretty good hp, support all sorts of music files, 1.3 mege pix, got radio, dictionary and all the connectivity. Better that my 3230 last time. Then as for the lost mdia document, I was not too bad. I have about 1/3 of the pics and all the songs that was in my old mmc card n my pc so it’s still ok. As for mp3 player, don’t think I will be buying, I m broke beyonfd broke, trust me, I m on the negative scale liao

Then the freaky exam was terrible too. I think for the anatomy n physio paper I got about half totally don’t know and the organic chem. About 30% lor. I m dead meat. 2 more electives on fri…so much to read man!!!

As for my bgr, my hubby is still so bus. So busy that I went out on sat night the whole night with him only. He can actually sneak out till 4pm the next day but his boss kept on calling him about some non-important stuff so we were together till about 11am. Quiet scary to leave my house at abt 2 plus in the morning caz my here is just damn quiet n then the freaking taxi driver, there was no car on the road n he still drive at 60km/hr , keeping within the lane where the road was curving left n right. His reason? Don’t want me to bounce about too much. I told him to drive faster of coz. Then when we meet we got drink n go n have prata also. Although it was the same stall that he packet prata back before, I ask him what he want so that I can order, he doesn’t know. Apparently, he always just any how point n then just say give him 4. so in the end, I bought 4 egg prata for him. At first he eat the prata the proper way with the fork n spoon n then later, the first time I ever saw anyone do it. I would cut up large portions and put it into the curry plate itself n then eat it as if it was noodles.

Well…I gota go back to studying n looking for a job….see u then….bye…

2005-11-14T20:50:00.000+08:00

(Thanks for the taggy ty.seems like u r my sole supporter...)

Sigh…..I am so shit for this week’s paper….

Let’s see, last week paper wasn’t that good either. Well the intr bio was easier than I thought but there was some unexpected qns. The biomolecules had some weird qns but nothing can holdup to the biostats paper on Fri. Te thing is that in the past few years paper for this module, the teacher would direct the student as to which test statistic to use but there was 2 qns that we were left totally on our own…I spent a lot of time doing the 2 qns and tho I did not dare to conclude, I later found out from my friends that my choice of test was correct. The last qn was horrible. It was a 2 choose 1 qn but there was nothing that I can choose as I can’t remember either the formulas that are required in the qn. DIE…..

Well, over the weekend, I basically more or less slack. Most of Saturday was spent giving tuition and then towards the end of the tuition, my hubby call me in a last min to notify me that he can go out for a while so I cab home to change etc and then cab to meet him and we spent a couple of hours together only. Well, it was better than nothing and I guess we will have to put up w the schedule, for a while at least…just hopefully his schedule will improve and we can meet up more often and that he won’t be so tired. Then on Sunday, in the morning, tuition, in the afternoon sleep, at night then go for my niece crystal’s full month celebration.

Studying was horrible. I tried to study the anatomy but the progress was very very slow n I keep falling asleep…even at the mac….sigh…this week also have the other killer of organic chem…..die…..

2005-11-03T01:17:00.000+08:00

finally i understand why some people blog and some people write diaries...well, the main motive for amny who write such entries abt themselves, they all write it as thou they are talking or telling someone about what has happened to them that day as thou talking to a friend. i must say that there are really some things that are too personal to be on a online blog that's why diaries still exist sometimes. no matter how u look at it, a blog abt ur life either means that you want to record down what u did that day so that 50 years down the road u can look back and laugh at yourself or that you really wished that someone would listen to you. i guess i m very much of the latter.

it is sad that the taggy is quiet again. the counters are changing at a very slow pace. i just wish n hope that there is acually someone out there who is actually reading...maybe not all my entries but do drop by whenever possible....

feeling stressed abt BS101 in tro bio. also worried for the biochem and the biostats which are in the same week n it's next wk. i would say it's becaz there is so much to read for intro bio n i read so bloody slowly that i m at lect 3 n 4 only. i only managed to read with understanding for organic chemistry las set of lectures but i dun think i can remember. i m so shit. so stressed. haven't touched biostats at all. hopefully the organic chem memory that i studied for 2 weeks ago will help me when i do the supper last minute revision for biochem. ARGH>>>>>>...

and bcaz i n feeling so stressed. it seems to be affecting my bgr. well, u see, being stressed, i keep lookinf forward to the night when we can chat a while, can unwind n switch to happy mood. but just when it is getting bad which is these few days, he is suddenly very busy at work. i know that he is tired etc from working more than 12 hours but i can't help but feel not cared for when we hardly can tok much caz he returns late n must rise early the next morning. thus, there is some quarrelling in the past 3 days. weep weep. i know that it would be difficult. u see, last time, he was more free to sms me and such n this is the start of him having lesser time for me on a daily basis but a higher chance to meet on a more regular basis of maybe, at least weekly i hope. or maybe it is just for the start since the place just started today. weep weep...i dun like to quarrell....it's really hard to need attention n yet hav to be understanding that he can't give me the attention i need...at least that is the case for these few days. hopefullly, it will get better like he said.

okay...i gota go sleep n try to mug as much as possible tml. ....nitezzz...pls leave a teggy

2005-10-30T17:35:00.000+08:00

pls leave a taggy

2005-10-30T17:13:00.000+08:00

I must say that I haven’t heard or seen any of my friends who are not in the same oz as me for a very long time. But blogs are very amazing things…..it actually helps me keep in touch w their lives, whether or not they know it…like yi shan’s blog. I get to know everything that she and shun hua do caz she almost blog abt every day….well…let’s see how’s my life been so far

HAPPINESS….well, my boyfriends returned last fri and in the spread of 1 week, we actually hit out highest record of meeting each other 4 times…I must say that this his frequency of meeting him this week certainly caz me to want to see him every moment of the day. Well, let’s see, the first day when he came back, we met for a few hours, drinks and such. Nothing different frm our usual hangout except that it is the first meeting after about one month. Can’t hide the happy smiles on our faces when we just met. Well, he bought me 2 pairs of ear rings, dangling metal sort which is also my sort of ear rings. Then he also bought me a pair of shoes…the office wear super pointed toe end. I didn’t know that he was talking abt this sort of shoe so I gave him the normal size that I wear and then in the end, this cutting w the same size is far too hurting small. The next time we went out was about half the day on Sunday from afternoon onwards. Watched transporter 2 then dinner at paragorn’s thai express having our favourite soft shell crab. Then after that we walked all the way till we reached merlion, chatting all along. Yup, we walked for about half an hour plus. Then at the merlion there, we sat n drink for a while, see the scenery n he so not lan man one lah…never say or do anything the whole time :( the day didn’t end quite well caz of some guessing game then to make up for it we met on Tuesday. Had a brief lunch at marina sq swensens then we went to watch april snow. Then his hp rang. He pondered whether to return the his call in case it was his boss asking his whereabouts and wanting him to go back. In the end, it was a wrong no. damn. Then on Friday itself, he managed to sneak out in the evening and so I went to meet him straight from schl. But evening peak hours was working up. The cab q at boon lay mrt was so long that I called a cab. Booking $4, some expressway cost me $1 and plus there was heavy traffic most of the expressway. Cost me abt $22 to meet him. Damn, never took before a cab so expensive. But we only went to our usual hangout for abt an hr and a half caz he say his boss call him while he was waiting for me to arrive. Then when he reached back to the hostel n called his boss back, it was because he wanted to take something but don’t need his help liao…sianzz

I would say that I did procrastinate on the first few days of the week about studying for the anatomy and physiology quiz and it caz me not to be able to finish the last 3 lectures. I was telling myself that I will stay up on thur’s night to study but it became a sleep a while study a while thingy. So the last 2 and a half lecture notes was a quick brief read thru. But it was not too bad, only had 10 wrong, about the same as the rest of the pple I know.

Now’s the hols…the following week will be the exams liao. First week, intro bio, biochem n biostats. Damn, I never once paid attention to anything of the intro bio…doomed…hopefully the txtbk will help…okay…got to go

2005-10-16T01:54:00.000+08:00

phew....finally the 2 weeks, especially 14th Oct itself...is over. it has been a mad rush to produce the papers. Let's see...i would personally feel that i actually place more effort nto the biostats assign than my elective, info visualization altho the criteria for the elective's paper was at least 10 pages. i spent a lot of time chosing my article for the biostat assign, wrote it in parts through several seatings and then check the overall language of the articale before handing it in. whole for the infomation visualization. i was struggling to sound professional and in fri itself, i thought i would redo the whole format of the paper to make things easier for myself and the teacher. i sat at the computer at home from about 330 to 1100 at night, only stopping for a short while for dinner. i think i haven't put so much effort into doing anythign for a long time...the last time woulf be during the As.

then the stupid me actually had to upload the biostats assign online in schl twice and then ask my friend to help me upload it again in the evening...al because i was too careless. i uploaded the document in schl from my thumbdrive and then i realise that i left tianyu's blog's address in my paper. so i deleted the addres and then uploaded the thing again. then when i reached home, when i accessed my doc in my thumbdrive, i had a weird feeling. i remeber that i did not stop at a this particular part in my info visualization assign..i was pretty sure i did typed more the night before. then i opened the same documents from my computer and then my heart missed a beat. i saved the changes to the sopy that was in my home comp! i then check the biostats assign that was in my thumbdrive...it was horrifying...there were still parts that i highlighted for editing. luckily, pei jun, my BMS classmate was online n was in her hall, i then send her my doc, my username, password ad matric no and all for her to help me upload....SAVED

I am very very sad to say that my exams are coming soon and so are the quizes. there will be a mock paper coming this week which only have mcq which is something both good and bad. i think there is abt 11 lectures altogether and i only read, 4 and a half before...don't think i can remeber anything... i am really going to be shit. then next week, there will be another horrible quiz for the module, anatomy n physiology which i know nuts about for half of the lectures. all these are counted in the CA. sianzzz....then the exams will start on abt the 5th till 27....sianzz...i must keing my books liao...it wont be easy

anyway, my hubby coming back on abt 20...which is this thur:) really quite happy to have him back but quite sad that when he come back, can't send a lot of time together until after the exams...think if wana meet is also once a week go out of if there are more times is coming to my house for a while kind of thingy...sad, sad....

okay, i thikn i going to sleep liao...actually came online or shld i say onthe comp to do my lab reports..tml then...bye...

PS:VISITORS/READERS TO MY BLOG PLS LEAVE A TAGGY!!! THANKS

2005-10-07T17:42:00.000+08:00

hi..just to have a quick update....

the assignments that I have is starting to bury me as they are both next week due and i am not even 1/4 into it yet....die.....

then none of my family members have found out about the naval piercing yet. it is producing some small amts of pus which is normal....

then i m very very damn broke....bought too much that time n the money isn't coming in fast enuf...

okay...got to get back with my work...

2005-09-29T00:10:00.000+08:00

let's see...it's a few ays into the life of havig my naval pierced....well, if i didn't get it pierced, i wont know that there are so many things that i do that will actually have things on me or leaning on my stomach etc. very much of showing how lazy i am....

then i think i am really getting screwed...got so many lect notes that i not yet go thru on my own n so many tutorials and reports not done. i think i can go n die liao...sianz...

then the tuition thingy...think i am taking too much tuition...going to cut done n possible only when the PSLE gal finish n the indonesians finish their exams...other wise it has only been seeling cards,tuition n schl...

time is controlledby myself n i must do it!!

nitezz pple..
need to go busy liao

2005-09-26T01:23:00.000+08:00

I think i am a big loser at saving. i think i will restart my saving plans next week onwards. I went to pierce my naval today and it cost 70 bucks. went a little cill out w my ocbc colleges then also about 20 bucks. sianzzz

well, i was thinking of a naval piercing but dun dare. among the pple i know. only linde has pierced. i can't remeber if veronica did or not. but the main thing was that linda was saying that it was so painful till she nearly fainted. then my bf got suggest to me to pierce a long time ago. then when i was working in best denki for ocbc, i will always see this jap concert performance of a group of female singers. they all had their navals pierced n it looks good. so oday, i finally went over the edge n did it. it didn't really hurt much i must say. i dare not n i dun think i will be able to see the piercing process caz the persons hand block my view. cost me a bomb abt 70 bucks. but the whole thing was pretty professional as to standards, the lightings, the cleaning n explaination to me abt everything that was going on.

today i went out with farah n lishan. I am sad to say that lishan is flying for cutin university next month...sian..another frien going away....everyone will eventually go their own ways but all these overseas studying n possible migration in the future makes it pretty difficult. we went a bit of walk walk, shopping for shan, watched longest yard(it was not bad) and then home.

there was a organic chem test last week which i studied for. maybe not hard enough but the thing is that i studied w understanding. mayb i was anxious or didn't quality mug...the more i do the paper the more confuse i m w my stuff...die

well, i do hope this coming week will be a smooth one.

tired..
wana go sleep liao...

Nitez

2005-09-18T01:21:00.000+08:00

to all those pple who may vist my blog. can u PLEASE leave me a taggy? don't make me feel like i am toking to myself can?

2005-09-18T00:56:00.000+08:00

time is a very tricky thing....i doesn't always behave the way you want it to.

well, so fast a week of the mid term hols is over. well let's see what I have been doing.

studying? well, i don't think so. I tried to study to no avail. when i stay at home the bed is too tempting and stuff like that....anyway i really hardly studied. no kidding. I think I am goint to be real shit man...I think I better put in lots of effort once the term break is over otherwise i won't be going anywhere.

Monday...well, i more or less slack the whole day away. went to buy the star hub prepaid card, borrow hp from priyanka, buying a new battery. having both my tuition kids on that day itself.

tuesday...can't really remeber what happened that day. got study a bit and then i went for tuition again. stupid PSLE girl request for 2 days in a row. toking abt her, i am so pissed abt her that i don't think I would ever gona take on pri schl kids anymore.

wednesday...went to school to try the software to do the computer practical. I spent coming to 2 how's there and only did one qn. can't figure out how to do the rest of the qn. then wanted to watch the video of the biostats lect but there is some problem w the computer so didn't. at night i then went online to view it. the lunched at quad then spent the next abt 3 hrs waiting for ah yong in alvin's room. coped a lot of m3 songs from alvin then was listening to it and trying to read the handouts for the chinese cinema thingy but the things are too chimm n lengthy that i kept getting lost abt what i am reading. went i went ah yong we went to city hall for soup spoon(it's a fantastic place) and walk walk a bit then go home liao.

thursday. had my other tuition kid, the taiwan boy. got study a bit in the afternoon that day. then meg tell me i can't work this wkend and i called a few of the tuition assignments online and thru the agency stuff. need to find tuition n then quit this job of mine.

fri. studied in the afternoon. went to bbq with moses which was rather boring caz there wasn't much food for a bbq.

sat-today. went out w weixiang the whole day. spent outr time in twn. visited the pple working in town. thai express paragorn for lunch(man, i miss the curry soft shell there, it's still the best). watched the movie night watch which was totally crappy n bullshit. i wld rather donate the money to the stinking NKF or something man. bought 2 tops of the same design, diff colour frm u2. went to grandma's place for paternal gathering for the mid autumn festival. i felt like dying there. it was warm n boring.

well, i haven't said yet right. i have 2 tuition kids, PSLE malay girl teachihng EMS then the other one is a taiwaness 13 yr old teaching english. hard to think that i can teach right? me too. well, it thought i would never touch english but it was when i was teaching that i realised that actually do remeber quiet a bit of all those things abt grammer and stuff. both quiet unstable. the girl will finish PSLE in a month's time. the taiwanese going for 2 wks hol soon n may change me for another tutor or reduce my frequency or just keep me. confusing. so i finding some more tuitions that will be stable enough. so you know, there is something to take over this PSLE income when it's over and just in case this taiwanese student don't want me anymore. well, i certainly try my best to do my part as a tutor well. trying out 2 new assignments soon. tml, trying out 1st lesson for a PRC boy sec 3 phy n chem. this coming wk trying out a group tuition sec 2 sci. we'll see how.

then after toking to wei xiang today, i finally realise (altho i already know a long time ago) that i can't save. i really spend as i wish as long as i can afford. sigh...so he out into my head an idea. at least keep a rough record of my expanses in the wk n then from there i can see how the money is moving and make adjustments. think i should do that. soons a little late but it's better now than never right?

another thing....I MISS MY HUBBY. Really really a lot.

2005-09-05T15:08:00.000+08:00

my hubby go home liao. In the past 1 week, we met the most, 3 times in all and sigh.....thou it will only be one and a half months but i miss him liao...sometimes i wonder how did i survive the 5 months last year.

well, I met denise(her sister tagged along for a while) to study at the tampines since the txt bk for the anatomy was the reference there. but the study trip wasn't so sucessful. it was more of a slacking time to gether. i don't know if my memory is fading me or what caz denise certainly look very different from the denise i know. well, there was the hair dye, hair cut, skin looking better and finaly she is wearing something that does not fall into the category of T-shirt.

well, the whole day, we bought eyeliner for me caz you know, i like to spend when i am not happy. then, it was playing w the eyeliner for a while. she was also telling me about all the stuff she did in schl. we went to her place and she showed me all the pics that she took w her new nus friends. hearing from her how nice nus has been so far, going out with friends etc, her most beloved tae kwon do lessons etc etc, i felt kinda loser then. well, you see, i haven't changed a single little bit since sec schl. i am still usually seen alone in schl, don't care about my appearance, juz t shirt jenes eery day, no outings at all w any of the new pple that i see here. they are still pretty much just classmates. btw, denise also is starting to change her wardrobe.

so i was feeling kind of loser, the living as if i don't exist most of the time. u see, i only bother to dress up a little if i am working but o freally dress up w my hubby. other than that, all things else is really boringly simple. how i wish i can go clubbing, go out w friends for movies and chit chat sessions that will be real fun n long but when i think again....nah...not possible. although both den n i travel a lot to go to and from schl there are a lot of other things that is different. well, first thing, she not working wkends but i am. then my wkdays got tuition. Sigh...it's about earning money and given that i already have a lot of problem w gettig my work done, how can i go play? then if i were to go out n play, it is a double loss, i don't earn n i m spending. .....sianz....

well, at least i can look forward to the night chats w my hubby at nite. now, it will be slightly lesser but we can tok on the phone.

2005-08-23T12:59:00.000+08:00

heez...4 weeks of school gone by....

so how's school you may ask?

Bad. Horrible. I would rather be working. Maybe

why? well, you see the thins about working is that you are more or less doing the same mandatory thing over and over again everyday for the temp jobs that you do. the only bad thing about it is that you have to stomach a lot of unhappiness that is very likely to occur during or after work. time flies when you are working and you really couldn't care less.

but studying is not like that. well, you got to make sure that you understand to lesson or it will be really horrible when all these things that you don't understand start to accumulate. then the other thing is that the lecturers are not very good here you know. well, i think there is more taught in the classroom then in the lecture and the lecture notes are more or less useless. priyanka says that you need to take your own notes during the lecture, which i must agree, but teh thing is that the lecturers are sometimes just plain reading to you the lecture notes with very little explanation here and there. that's why, i hate school. oh yeah, you know my split personality thingy. well, i heard some people describing me as loner liao. how sad. but then, once again nvm. don't know why i always adopt this introvert kind of personality in school when at work, i can be a normal girl with a nice balance of both.

then about my hubby, well, we have been having quarrels of late but i think it is just typical of us to quarrel big every once in a while. then i haven't told you. the other day, his boss called to tell him of change of plans. he will be going back for a 1 month coaching course and then he will come back n help out at the hotel and he will not be going home for the new year. i am pretty sad caz i must countdown to the time he will be leaving me. weep weep...although we can still have his first b'day 2gether, christmas, new year's eve and valentime which will most likely be on the day itself, we have an additional chinese new year together but the thought of him flying in less than 2 weeks time and being away from me for slightly pass a month, maybe 2, it is just so saddening that it is all so near. but i know how to keep myself busy. i will work at all opportuniies, study, do cross stitch, sms him, call him, chat online w him...Hmmm....i think it would soon be over right?

don't know what is wrong with the coach etc, haven'ty been letting them have a off day for 3 weeks liao. luckily, over the past few days, there were 2 afternoons when they are just kept in for no rhyme or reason even though there wasn't any training, we managed to meet. he sneak out. he said that he climb the wall. don't know how true that is but nvm, most importantly is we managed to meet. :) happiness . but i wasn't too happy spending coming to 400 bucks that day. buy a set of clothes for him from topman and toyes and other stuff.

well i am now at library 1 in ntu. think i gona log off and go some reading of lect notes n tutorial. actually wanted to excercise but after yesterday, think i will rest 1 day.

2005-08-03T19:56:00.000+08:00

wow wow wow, long time no chat. think it is so long that i can't remeber how long ago n the outings that i didn't mention which i went out with my bf.

but i think i can tel you what has happened of late.

well, as you know, school has started in NTu and I am in School of Biological Science, taking Biomedical Science and Traditional Chinese Medicine. the course is 3 years in NTU and 2 yrs in BUCM. the past few nights has been horrendous as i try my best to make the best time table using the stars and the school is damn chock up lah, everyone gives us a different info. but i am glad to say that everyone is pretty friendly and nice but i am not too sure if it is only for now. and there are 63 pple in this course with only 3 boys.

then my hubby not going home already. at the end of the season he will go work in some small hotel and if next year still got SFC then he be coach otherwise just continue n study some stuff at the same time. well, we are glad that he is able to stay, we are also glad that with this arrangement, he will enjoy more freedom then now but the thing is that he is working everyday. which means that we cannot spend a lot of time together at one shot eg. one whole day but we will be able to meet more often in the week.

well, the last time we went out, wasn't so fun packed as i needed to sign and hand in my time sheet for my temp job. after which we hang out at bugis and he bought me a rose as i wanted one. but it was really beauty, blood red, nicely fully blossom into a round circle.

our anniversary coming up, help!! i don't know what i want to get him and don't know if i can finiish the project in time to give him. if i can't, i haven't exactly made up my mind as to what i wil have as a backup present.

okay, i gtg.

till next time.

bye.

2005-07-13T00:41:00.000+08:00

Yozz..... long time no see ya? sigh...i don't even know if there is ever anyone coming to my blog caz my taggy is forever so quiet that it always kana revoked.....sigh.....i'm blending into world of emptiness again. me talking to myself....mad huh?

well, there are mainly 2 big things that I wana blog about today.

FIRST

i actually wanted to blog about this earlier but was just too lazy. Manzz, the first time let a guy send me home in a car was...how u say....interesting?? hahah...don't get the wrong idea, it's just a normal friend that was sending a few of us back after some drink. well, there was some real gossiping session that was pretty interesting during a drinking session after saturday work. i was actually pretty tired but to make my boy a little pissed caz he pissed me first, i went. then after that, Alvin drove me n eric home. first stop, eric then me. then near the interchange at the kallang mrt station, something happened. lousy driver, poor instructions n speeding vehicles, we escape a accident but the tyre went flat. cool, that was the second time in my entire life thus far that i experience tyre flat. the first was the school bus in primary school. the the funny part is that alvin can't change tyre so we wait for his brother n his friend to come down to help us.

SECOND

i took off day today to go out with my lao gong. well, we intended to watch be with u but the time slots was weird n the late morning rain delayed our meeting time so in the end we didn't watch movie. then we went to ps swensens for lunch. quiet enjoyable, chit chat etc. then we were heading for the toilet when we heard someone frantically calling xiao jie xiao jie. so i turned and that was it. half an hour of our time was gone.this auntie from the bridal shop took her postcard n was scribling her contact on it and invited us in to see some wedding package etc. we thought no harm, just see see. manzz...i should have known it, being a promoter myself. then she was sweet talking me and my bf and was telling us how the wedding package goes about, how good a buy it was and was asking us to put a deposit. i must say that though she was a auntie, her chinese was quiet terrible. even before she invited us in, she got to know that he was from beijing and i am from singapore but in all her statements, it were all sentences that was in chinese but had a lot of english words injected here n there. anyway, we tired to excuse ourselves a few times n finally succeeded when she was busy on the phone with the endless calls. then after that we were looking for a place to take neoprint. i hardly ever take neoprint one but i wanted to take one with him since last year n then in the end didn't, but finally we took today. it was really quiet confusing, we didn't know what to choose and what to decorate n one of the pics in our first set was weirdly taken. we tried another machine and it was worst. it had nice background but caz the monitor n the computer pen had something wrong, we didn't mange to decorate much and much less choose the alignments. then we went to G2000 and the jacket set was quiet nice on him tho he only try the jacket but it was really nice n fitting on him. i like it. after that we cab to our usual hang out and bought drinks. the rest of the day was more or less as usual.

some other stuff

tok chok over the phone with a few guy freinds of late, alvin n wei xiang etc etc

watch movies with both the guys. watched war of the worlds and crying out from te centre of the world(at least that is what i can remeber)

bf damn jealous n pissed but nvm liao lah

okay then...gtg

nitez

2005-07-05T21:42:00.000+08:00

hey......finally, the data entry job that I had ocbc securities is done. well,i am promoting credit cards nearly everyday except for off days here and there.

Hmmm....oh yeah, i think i didn't say that i went to the mango sale the other day and for the first time in my life i actually found something that i like in there. well, the main thing was this really nice jeans mini skirt that will automaically flare up at the side a little. and then there was this other 2 real plain and simple low cut tops that i also bought. spent 81 bucks and saved about 45 bucks.

meet karen last week to eat at thai express, catch up a little and to window shop around in far east area. it was nice and i am glad to concled that she didn't have any dramatic changes like some of the other friends that i have.

well, my heels really hurt from all that standing in heels and orchard branch. well, i saw valerie 3 times in a weekend with her friend, shopping etc. well, i was pretty down on luck the last wkend with below target sales.

then we finally met yesterday after 2 weeks. well, of late he is pretty hot tempered over the sms and he always scolds me then say that he was in a bad mood to begin with. Fine. It seems that it is nearly becoming a routine that we quareell the night before we meet as he often can't tell that some things are said just to tease him.

we meet at about 1. was wearing the new mango skirt with the new yellow plain mango top and was carrying a mango handbag. well, i felt so fruity....hahahaha...anyway, i really love being in that skirt. i was a little late as i was having trouble with the eyeliner-something that i am trying to master now. so we met at outram, went to doubly ghout with intention to watch a lot like love and man it was crowded. teenagers these days are really so super damn irritating and fickle minded. the group of girls and boys at the axs station kept changing their mind and was discussing on the spot. i asked him to q at the GV line and when he was nearing the counter(was originally near the arcade door) the group infront haven't even decided. anyway, we watch the 2pm show, grab a fast bite at bk. the movie was nice but would have been better if it was longer. then ew went to our usual hang out and just spend the rest of the day there. was nearly falling asleep on the cab to his place. then he sent me a mushy sms which i saw when i was on the train heading home. well, if only he will say it in person.

ok, it's getting hot and i am getting sticky....

gota go now n bath before i die

2005-06-23T11:53:00.000+08:00

the blog earlier tooke several days to write.....that shows that i have lesser free time in office.

well, me lately got ear pain...see the doc liao. some infection at the soft bone there.

then i wish to share with all those who come to my blog or chance upon amy blog a phrase that i always remember from a comprehension passage at JC level.

The most humble person is one who is most proud.

Think about it.

2005-06-23T11:52:00.000+08:00

Let me think of something philosophical to talk about. Self esteem. A good topic right?

Well, if you go to the library or any bookstore, there are always a section of self-help books. Among those are books about self-esteen, how to better manage your time, how to increase your brain power. There are even books that teach us how to hook a guy and do it in bed, better still, how to do it in bed fabulously. Sad isn’t it? We need to be helped on so many things, even things that are so personal or sexual. There is one thing about humans that I need to reemphasis. Sometimes we get caught up so much in sometime that we don’t see the many other possibly better alternatives.

What is self-esteem? Well, the most direct way to define it is the way one see himself. This is self-esteem, not the way others see you or the way you see yourself as compared to others but the way you see yourself. I think a lot of people get caught in this what would other people think or say of my this and that. I think any idiot who understands English should honour the word self that comes together with esteem.

I have seen many people and am still seeing many people that are so unhappy with themselves. Don’t ask me why exactly for I find these people kind of bewildering at times. These people seem to be the exact people that the media is trying to target at or has successfully convinced that there can be a better you in there.

Well, the main problem that people are not happy with themselves is very much the way they look. Sad to say that the human race is indeed superficial, it is in us to be superficial. A baby will respond better to a pretty face and the society then to look down on those who are nearing the fat or are already very fat. Search your heart and don’t lie to yourself, when you see a very fat person taking up 2 seats in a crowded mrt train, unkind thoughts about the person’s size is definitely running through your head. Then the fat person will definitely know how others are looking at him and thus feel bad and thus the self-esteem of the person will drop. You see how vulnerable people are? They care so much about how others look on them that they will feel upset about themselves and most of the time there isn’t very much that they can do to change the situation in the near future.

Then there is another category of people that may feel bad about themselves and none the less it is about beauty this time. Don’t you hear yourself saying in your head that man, that guy/girl there is so cute, see the face is problem free, tanned till the healthy tone, so perfect looking. It is perfectly normal that everyone likes something that is what is known as beauty, something pleasing to one’s eye but it becomes a problem when you compare and start dwelling on how much or how far u are away from perfection. Well, if that happens to you always, you just got to trust the fact that no one has it all and that there must be something that your are better than him/her.

I got a few friends with such problems. One of which is getting better and I truly believe it’s because of a boy. Then there is another friend of mine that is nice yet insanely nice at times, I really don’t know which. Well, she has a habit of talking herself down and talking others up. Well, I think it is nice sometimes as that can make another person happy or cheer another person up but it really is a problem when she does that kind of very often. I don’t know why but I think she lacks a self esteem.

Let’s try a few things that can generally help anyone when anyone is done okay? Thinking about a sure work method if you practise it, is a method that I learnt in civics and moral education in sec school I think. Well, it’s the traffic light method. Catch yourself whenever you are saying things that are discouraging or negative and stop it(red light). then think about some of the things that you are proud of, be it a certain skill or something(the yellow light). then resume your day and feel good about yourself with onlt positive thoughts(green light).

The other thing is what I heard from my teacher. Above all, love yourself the most as only after self-love will u make yourself pleasant enough for others to love you. Because you love yourself, others need not worry unnecessarily for you. Only after you love yourself will you have the capacity to love others. As all those who knows me know that I am not a person who read but I am very enchanted by man are from wars and women are from venus book. I didn’t read it thou, I merely flip through the pages here and there. There was this thing about women. The capacity of a women’s love is affected by the way she feels about herself. Very true isn’t it? one moment she can be the most loving mother, wife, girlfriend and the other moment she can be complaining about it all. So you see, self love is so important and plays an important part in self-esteem. If you don’t love yourself, how can you take pride in yourself?

Think about it.

Go on. Take a fresh start to life. Refresh yourself with a new energy.

2005-06-16T16:46:00.000+08:00

Sigh, it’s about 2 weeks since my previous entry and from the way my taggy looks like….sigh…nobody really comes to my blog as no one except poor priyanka tagged.

Sigh….don’t know why but the past few days in office was really busy from the start right till the end. I am always late for work and thus would try my best to find something to do and slowly try to drag the leaving time till about 645 but these few days I practically am trying to struggle to finish by 7. these few days there are so many people opening new account and so many people transferring from one tr to another and the worst part is that they are all last minute. They come in at about 5 plus and so there is a lot of things to do. Merely folding the letters took me about 2 hours.

Well, nothing much exactly happened. Well, let’s see, I just went to li juan’s blog and realised that she is jobless too. As in there are so many of my friends working and not. Then, there’s also denise’s blog. As usual, a very philosophical and scrutinising blog in reflection. Man, is that what a lot of free time gets you into? Thinking so much about so little mandane everyday thingy? Given that I am a think a lot till the extend that my brain can’t shut up or ideas are running wild or disturbing, I am glad I am still working otherwise I think I will drive myself nuts but all that thinking. You see what I mean?

Sigh……manage to copy some of the sms from my hp to my note book, now that I got my new hp I am getting lazy and I am a few hundreds behind time.

Then let’s see. On Sunday my family went to have dimsum for lunch at the place my sister had her wedding caz the coupon allows 50% off their dimsum buffet. The food was quite good and I finally tried it myself that by eating dimsum alone, you can actually get quiet full.

But the key highlight on Sunday was that I finally get to see him after 2 weeks. Yeah. Okay, he came harbour front to look for me(we were eating at the harbour front dragon gate restaurant or something). Then I was so tempted to let my parents and him meet but in the end didn’t. we went down to somerset, tried the futuro’s abdominal/back support thingy and when I wanted to buy if for him caz of his back pain, he didn’t want caz it was expensive, 54 bucks plus. Then we went further down to bits and pieces at wisma to have our rings polished but it wasn’t really dirty or not shiny just wanted to polish it. I manage to convince him that the money is worth it as I use that brand for my ankle guards too. So in the end, we bought the support from the taka guardian. And then finally, I manage to bring him to thai express which I so much so wanted. We had soft shell crab w curry and the rice each and a tom yam sea food soup to share. For the first time I didn’t finish my food as I was too full. Then the other unbelievable thin was that we actually saw my jc classmate, Ee Han. Of all the people in the world, I would think that I don’t want to see her. He was the one who spotted her first among her friends when they went to the thaiexpress counter to pay up. I was poundering to whether to say hi anot but then I thought why bother as I am very sure there will not be much talk (if it is worth my breadth that is) after saying hi. We were very sure that she saw us too for there were a few times that I had her eyes locked on mine for a few seconds but hack, like I care. After that we took a bus(we so long didn’t take bus liao) to our usual hang out and in the end we didn’t watch the vcds he brought with him that day. We had dinner, or should I say that he hads dinner and I was accompanying him. He ordered some beef slices with some sauce and rice and take away ba ku tae for supper. As usual, we went home the same way.

Then let me see, I went out with priyanka on tues, got myself a new sim card and we had thai express at paragon. I think the people there must be finding me weird as they seen me patronise their store 3 times within the week. Sigh, with the thai express card, I tend to think of thai express but most importantly, the best outlet at paragon.

A bad news, I not working this wkend caz they are all full liao. Sigh, there goes 168 bucks man. I certainly don’t want to spend too much this weekend. Will try my best to just stay home or have my atm stay home. And hopefully he can come out on Sunday and then we can have the entire day to ourselves. Hehehe…

why???

2005-06-02T18:23:00.000+08:00

Of late, I have come to question why humans are the way they are. Although I am one myself, I can’t find an answer but mere possibilities. Our creator must be a very interesting and complex person beyond our imagination to have even created such a weird and troubled species. There are a few things that I just can’t think through.

1. Why do people prefer very much to go in groups? Especially a moderately big to a big group.

If you have the time, go to the playground and see the children play. No one told them anything but the children will befriend among themselves and start playing as a group or co-operating groups. This grouping thing is a very common thing in the human race. It is the origin of what is now known as a clique has come about.
Well, the thing about me is that I have never been in much of a clique or anything. I am always among the same few friends surely in 2s than in 3s and even more seldom in any no. greater then that. In JC, I tried blending into a group, if there are class outings, old sqd getting together etc, I will try my best to go along and interact instead of just blending into the background which is what people who hardly know me recognise me for. But I observed something which I hate a lot. Well, you see, in a group, there are always some few people that is more influential in the group and their say and their prescence matters the most, those whom I call “leaders”. Do you not notice that the whole group will wait for the leader before they proceed somewhere but if it is just some ordinary fellow in the group, they will merely inform him/her of their plans and just carry on. Do you also not notice that when the leader(s) say that that they should go somewhere to hang out, very seldom do the group don’t end up going there. You see, what I hate about it is that the people in the group do not have a very fair share of say of the doings of the group. The other thing is that the whole group don’t mind doing what the leader(s) say as they themselves do not have the slightest idea of what they can do. So very often, the clique is merely just a group of people who are mindless usually and just followers for they hardly voice their opinions as though they have indeed lost their voice. I very much prefer a much smaller group, there is more decision making together and there is more compromise. The clique scenario definitely cannot be a compromise case as they are clueless themselves in the first place.

2. Why can’t people just do something about their situations instead of staring at it, complaining to the whole wide world about it and continue wallowing in the problem?

Well, first, I must make this clear that the there are some people that are complaining for the sake of complaining or just to make themselves appear lousy in front of others but are actually not the way they claim it to be.
Well, some complain that they are fat and overweight, this and that a whole list of things but are not effectively doing something about it. Usually, they try old worn-out methods and hope that it will work this time when it failed so many times and others merely talk about it. Some complain that they are sensitive to this and that and a whole lot of other things and about how the irritation works up when they used this and that and then they don’t do anything about it. they continue to keep a look out for cheap stuff and are coax into buying something that they don’t really know anything about and then when something happens, they complain and complain and complain and sometimes even blaming someone else for it. The, there are some people that will talk to you about the hard and/or sticky situation that they are in and after a long talk and all the suggestions you give, they don’t intend to do anything to improve the situation, you were merely a kind soul that leant a ear to the seemingly endless talk. God help me. There is certainly a better use of my time dear. They are sitting in a problem that they don’t really have the determination to get themselves out of.

3. Why do people don’t listen to kind advices but when someone else says exactly the same words, you choose to believe the other?

I really don’t get it you know. I got this persons that I know of, allows complaining or feeling inferior about herself. The thing is that when my friend and I try to tell her how she could improve herself she never listens or would say her mother don’t allow her to. I don’t know if she is lying as why won’t you mum let you go do a simple thing say a hair cut that doesn’t cost much? Then when someone else, God knows who just says something nice, immediately she attempts to improve her image.

Actually this 2 entries about why people are the way they are is very much ignited by some fellow I don’t really know why I label the person as a good/close friend. She is sure one puzzling creature who doesn’t respect others. Sometimes, I don’t even know why I care. I must be nuts!!!

PS: If anyone reads my blog at all, can u pls leave a taggy, at least I will know I have visitors.

lies

2005-06-02T17:18:00.000+08:00

Human beings are the weirdest creature that live on this Earth. Why do I say that? I believe that you have heard that only humans will lie to the people around them and what’s more sinister is that they will lie even to themselves. Aren’t they weird? I am talking as though I am not a human being myself but because I am one and live among my fellow kind, I know this kind of lie and denial far to well.

Let’s explore the possible reasons that people lie. Well, from the chidren, we can see that humans lie to those around them as they are afraid to face the music or as a means to get themselves out of trouble. Some lie to cover some truth that they are ashamed of. But there still is a very interesting form of lie towards others that is really very mind-bogging. There is a form of lie that is called a kind lie. Puzzling isn’t it? Well, for example, the dish that someone has prepared for you, you know very well that it was too salty or too bitter, you merely say that it is alright or even worst, you say that it is great. Then if someone is dressed in obvious unmatching colours or has a very poor out look that day, you don’t say anything or even worse, you say he/she looks fresh. This argument between telling the truth or protecting the other person’s feelings by telling a lie can go on and on but really, must we lie?

I think human beings have perfected the skill over the thousands of years that they have walked this Earth. They learnt to lie to oneself perfectly well. They lie to themselves about a lot of things. They lie to them seleves that they can really make their dreams come through by repeated doing something a certain way and ignore the kind advices of others and actually take them as unkind comments. They lie to themselves that they are perfectly happy with the way things are in their lives and see to problem in the problems that repeated keep surfacing. They lie to themselves that maybe if they changed, their lost love will come back for them. They lie to themselves that they are pretty or ugly, whether they are fat or thin. They lie to themselves so much that it has become hard to tell that really is and isn’t true. Denial has totally twisted the channel of thought. This can be paint a really sad life.

Well, let’s see. To deny that there is a problem is in itself a problem. Why? Simply because the original or the first problem will never get solved as but only worsen as you do not to acknowledge its existence. By denying a fact or action, it is like throwing a pebble into still waters and the ripples will just go on and on. How much will depend on the size of your pebble.

Why do people then lie to themselves and others? Well, I think that a large part of the reason is because you are really a coward to take up the challenge of saying the truth. Some just conclude that reality is too harsh and that lies anre just something that they keep themselves in just to make themselves better. auiet a cynical idea isit it? But a lot of people do that. Then there is a kinder way to describe this sinful act of lying. Some people claim that they lie to themselves to make themselves feel better, make themselves think that there is still a leeway out, there is hope in a situation that looks really bad. Or is lying just a form of excuse that you make for yourself?

Ask you heart and search your soul. Don’t lie anymore. At least don’t lie to yourself for if you are how can others be truthful towards you?

2005-05-30T12:11:00.000+08:00

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAahahah...............

I AM SO BORED OF BEING IN THE OFFICE!!!

Man, you know, it's like in the whole month, there will be only a few days whereby you are fully occupied. the rest if the time, there is so many hours of free time, and the internet is only up sometimes and the thing is that even if go online after check my mail I got nothing to do.

wanted to bring my newly bought project, precious moment cross stitch to sew but I think that would be a little too much to do in the office considering that I am a super late queen everyday lor. then. when the internet is working, I will go visit denise and yi shan(VJ)'s blog and read and read. then I am left with nothing to do that I leave the channel news asia webpage running and see the news update and read the aritcles if they interest me. but as you know, I am not the kind that like to read so it's equa; to saying I got nothing to do, just being a little bo liao.

Then, as some of my friends would would know, I actually record nearly all his sms that he sent we ever since day 1 except that time when I service my hp then lost some of the sms. I want to write my sms now but my hp is charging, so maybe in the afternoon bah. then I also cannot write too long caz after some time my eyes will pain and there is nothing to look far in the office. then i will be rubbing my eyes.

hehehe.....these few days it's quiet happy and sad.

if my memory serves me right, you know the rate i forget things, we went out on wed or was it thurs? anyway, it was super duper last minute lor. he guessed that they may be able to go out in the afternoon and say that he will tell me afternoon. then that morning, i went to work, then from abt 12 plus i started sms and calling him but there was no reply or ans at all lor, then i really thought no hope already caz it's like 130 already. then at abt 140, he called and then say he just come back and then i asked to take leave. i wear what i wore for my sis's wedding in the day time. so it was this short plain white skirt, a tube top that is flare with and of white base with blues roses on it, blue necklace. well, i forgot about the ear rings. we met at about three and went to suntec to check their movie timeslots. to our surprise, there was only 3 shows showing, star wars, monster-in-law and some scary show. then we decided not to watch and we went to eat instead, caz he hasn't eatte. we went swensens. after that we went to our usual hangout and boy, was that not in the plan at all becaz he's tired and the time constraint. but it was a nice time out which only lasted a few hours. felt that he really wanted me.Hmmm...thinking back about 1 yr plus ago when i didn't even know how to kiss at all and now..hehe...lots of improvement :) got good teacher then got good student wad. anyway as usual, we cabbed together to near his place then i went to JP to take train home.

had a NPCC gathering with the girls at fish & co at the glass house. a small turn out with. linda and bf, veronica and bf, melissa, theodora, priyanka and of course me. well, it didn't turn out as nice as i thought it would. well, the seat beside me, supposedly left for my bf was empty. opposite was veron and her bf often in their own chatter, and theo who was beside me was talking a lot to melissa. I can't hear beyond that. so i was more or less by myself during dinner. then there was this stupid tv that was just infront and above our heads and when we wanted to leave, they showed the highlights of the match between ac milan and liverpool. they watched quite a bit before we can finally leave. we went to coffee club express near douby ghout and on the way walking there, priyanka was telling me how she spent her time in dubai. i practically stoned there more or less and just went home after that.i didn't want to go clubbing with them caz i am extremely poor this month,tired from my work and am a vain pot. well, you see, if i go clubbing, that means that i gotta wear that makeup that i had since morning even longer than usual and then i will have very little sleep and then i will have pimples and blemishes which will take me a few days to get rid off. i wanted to do the facial but was too lazy that night. sigh, i got some blemishes all over my fae now that i keep eating fried and fast food over the past several meals, low intake of water and the fact that I haven't done my exfoliater thingy and pore refininf mask for more than a week! sigh...must get it done tonight.

then onm saturday night, i was sms-ing him and calling him but he didn't ans or reply till about midnight. then came the surprising good but sticky news. he can go out in the afternoon but i need to be working at IMM Best Denki. but in the end we still went out and the stupid rain, plus he doesn't have an umbrella delayed our meet up at my workplace itself till about 230 plus coming to 3. we took a rtain to city hall, went to gv marina, watched madagascar finally. well, he ws very very unwilling to watch it initially but in the end he gave in. hehehe :) then after that we wanted to buy shin guard for him caz his one break already. we spotted a royal sporting house there and bought from there. we then went to suntec with the intention of dinner. actually wanted to eat food court but it was really really very crowded. afther much deliema, we went to BK. i had the coupons and we ordered meal for 2 whereby he takes the 2 burgers and 1 drink and i am more or less suppose to finish the rest. I am so geeting fat and unhealthy lor. ate BK for lunch on sat and sun and in the end, dinner was also bk lor. siao liao. then we had a little unhappy time caz i wanted to go sky garden to sit a while but he says that he is tired, and tired till he will feel pain if excited and most importantly was anxious to make it back by the given time caz of some stupid $300 finr if you return late. Sigh, like that we spent 5 hours together after a shortest ever meet up since he came back this year. but i always get sad when the hour is drawig near. well, another nice note in the evening was that this time, since we have eaten before going back, he dropped much nearer to his hostel and he told me which unit it was. after he got of the cab, i instructed the taxi driver to drive in to look for the particular apartment and i could see from outside that the guys in the living room was watching some show, probably not properly dressed also. but you know, at least now i know exactly where he stays and how it looks like :)

this blog entry is written in drips and draps over a few boring hours. from lunch time till i am signing off now to start to pack up to go home.

2005-05-24T18:35:00.000+08:00

Sigh….didn’t realise that I haven’t blogged in such a long long time. Well, I am now in office blogging again as it is another day when there is really very very little stuff to do.

Well, finally my sister got married last Saturday. Well, there wasn’t any special feeling as it merely felt as thou it was just any other wedding just that it is held at my house. The fact that she will be living in another family now did really bother me as 1, I am not close to her at all, 2, she has always been sleeping there except for occasional nights when she will come home. I think that ht eonly difference is that she will just come home even less. Well, got doll myself up but then I didn’t take much photos as 1, I am not the main character, 2, I personally think that I look really ugly in photos most of the time, 3, we didn’t have a camera. Hehe…got let people say I look good that day (",)

Sunday and Monday was working at best denki J8. Initially, I thought that there might be really hard to sell as J8 is a place very much tailored for the youngsters but it was really not bad sales in terms of cards. Caz most of my cust all sign to cards. Don’t talk about no. of customers. Stand there for about 10 hours, less than 10 cust, so you can see how boring it was.

Let me back track a little………….

Not mentioned yet was 2 outings that we had. One of them was a last minute outing that he only told me at about 11 and I took half day. That day we watched half a movie, quarrelled and then went to our hang out place but another outlet this time round. Then we quarrelled again. Or should I not say quarrel? I also don’t know what you call that. Disagreements and misunderstandings that we nearly break up but as usual it settled down but that was the first time I ever cried in front of him n cried really loudly in his arms for a while.

The other outing also quarrelled. You see, he could come out for the whole day that day and the night before just say that we should be able to meet before 11. So the next day, they woke me up for work which I did not go and was dolling up myself for about 3 hours? Then I wait and wait, then I sms him at 1030 and he just woke up and say that their there was raining heavily, can’t meet and don’t know what time. We quarrelled as I was super unhappy about waiting so long, meeting after the supposedly timing and thus delay all our plans and the movie. I was even more pissed when he can’t tell me what time we can meet and he keep asking me to say but he can’t make it at the timing s and just won’t say what time himself. We nearly didn’t go out but in the end we still did. We watch kingdom of heaven and Olando Bloom didn’t look like himself at all in the show. I think that the show was quite meaningful as it makes the sticky situation in jerusaluem something that is so human-caused and not because of any religion. The king was quite a sad case as he seems a nice guy with a heart for the people and yet he died a horrible disease at a young age of before 30. He was so nice when we went out. We lunched and I choose the place and eventually we had swensens. Then it was the movie then we cabbed to our usual hang out. On the way, the txi driver asked if we were from Malaysia. He said no, from China. He then asked if we were both from china and my dear hubby said yes, saying that he was from Beijing and that I was from Shanghai. The taxi driver then said, wah, brother, you very good leh, can get yourself such a pretty girl, really pretty girl. Throughout the whole time I was quiet and only smiled at the compliment. When we finally got out of the cab, I was like, why the hell didn’t I know that I was from shanghai myself huh? He was like, it was just any how talk on loh, a lot of uncle taxi drivers in Singapore all like to talk crappy one lor. Yah..so the rest of the night was as usual.

I guess the reason that we always quarrell is that I take a lot of things too seriously and always thinking so much, therefore, I uaually get very upset even at things that he said in a fit of anger caz I will think that it might be something that he was unhappy about and saying onle now but usually, this is not the case.

2005-05-03T16:32:00.000+08:00

What a horrible horrible long weekend.......there were nice things n bad things but humans as we are, we tend to only remeber the bad things.

let me start with the good things first.....

On Saturday......

I couldn't find company to go out with. Denise is out with her mum. I think Priyanka is in that Middle East country that she said that she was going to but i can't remeber when she was going or how long will she be there. Since she didn't reply my sms I think she is there already. So, it was a dull, humid, hot and boring Saturday and the fact that I was tagging along to buy my elder sister's dowry wasn't helping either. It only helped when he sms me saying that they also going to have labour day holiday. We were discussing how best to spend the day given the places that we want to go and considering the money factor. As most of the time, we have a little hipcup as we can't really agree and decide about the programme. That night we went to the resturant that my sis is going to have her wedding dinner at to try the food. the food was not bad and pretty filling. On a scale of 1 to 10, the day is rated 7 as I was really looking forward to going out with him.

On Sunday...........

I didn't work off course and was dolling up myself to go meet him. I asked my mum was i choi? which was a usual qn at home that I would ask if I dolled myself up. My crazy mother just shot off at me that only Geylang girls are associated with the word choi and was giving me a earful. If you didn't want to answer you needn't. What the Fuck! Geylang Girl then Choi?!?! Which era is she living in arh? Language is something that always develops and changes itself. like the word fuck, in the past it is the srude way to mention sex but now it has evolved to become more of a vulgarity. Choi? I don't know her before how many thousand times in girls and guys conversations saying how choi some gal is or that a guy want to choi a girl go out. Choi=Geylang Girl? Eat shit lar.

Anyway I went out to meet him, I was late but he was really late. Anyway that isn't the main thing. Well, we took the NEL to habourfront and took the cable car from opposite habourfront to snetosa. This part of the programme was actually meant for the make up V day that he owes me but we decided to just go. It was really a long long Q downstairs and we talked about a lot of stuff while waiting. That would be his first time going to Sentosa and our first time sitting the singapore cable car. When we arrived, we saw the 360 degree view thingy that goes up into the sky but he didn't want to. The sad thing was that the monorail was gone and there isn't anything to replace it. I was actually thinking of sitting with him, seeing the view but..sigh. Anyway, next stop fort siloso beach. As it was really hot and a little humid we had very expensive ice cream while we sat in the shade then we start walking again. we walked about half the beach. my feet was a little arching as I was on heels. I thought if there was the monorail it would be alright. We then took the beach coach to the arrival and departure bust stop. We then walked to the ferry terminal(they were playing a false version of heal the world) and then we walked towards the lost civilization, where along the way you can get to pick sagga seeds but we didn't pick any. We were looking for a nice shaded seat so that we have ourselves for campany and cuold talk etc. We didn't talk a lot but talk more about things that really matter. When we left that time, we tried and he carried my about 20 steps away? we then took the bus out to the bus interchange opposite harbourfront. We ate at the kopitiam there. Think this would be our first time not in a low end resturant or eating fast food or bread. It was also the first time he took initiative to pay and order our drinks and chicken rice for me while I just sit there and wait. He was kind of funny, he didn't ask me before he was heading to buy the chicken rice, as in you know what kind or part of the chicken I wanted.when waitind for the train i saw a pl girl but as in i never knew her sort, or at least that is what I remeber. We headed to Chinatown to buy drinks and stuff but in the end we went to douby ghout. We hanged out till about 7 and then we left. It was a nice day out as I really like talking and walking kind of thing.

After the outing, I went to meet up my mother and siblings and my future brother-in-law at suntec carefour and on the way there, I met Gerard. Well, He didnt' change much, the typical NSF kind of attitude towards the rest of the world. Then we continued to sms for a while after about how we miss school and the latest updates in life. That night was freak, We ate at only 9 plus and it was really crazy.

Monday.......

Went out with Denise the whole day. We more or less went window shopping, in mind of getting probably a top if we can find one. I was thinking of getting a top for my sis's wedding. We walked from PS towards town area and then we saw that the Istana was open to the public and since I have never been in there, Denise agreed to go in. It was pretty cool as I have never been in there and never try letting the police check through my stuff throughly. We only walked mid-way towards the Istana as we were tried. It was an uphill walk but the most diificult part about it was that it was a freakingly hot. Then we continued walking up and went into HMV. We went to the Annex and just when I thought I won't find anything in there that I may like, when we walked past this shop, there was this flare bare shoulders kind of top on the outer most hanger that caught my eye.I tried another 2 tops with it and in the end I bought the one that I first landed my eyes upon. We continued to Tangs where denise check out some cosmetics that was hand-culticated and made which also costs really expensive. We also went to Far East where she bought a pink knitted kind of shirt there. We went on to wisma and taka but didn't stay long there. We then went to cineleisure but couldn't find a satisfactory movie to watch. We then went to Paragorn's Thai Express for our tom yam sea food soup. We made our way back to PS and went to see some necklace and then there was this set of top that caught Denise's eye.The hoter neck inside and a v neck t shirt over it. I decided to give this kind of top a try and in the end I was the one who bought a set and she didn't.

The night time was a crazy one. Everything was going on quite well at home when my stupid sister was calling me names. Hitting session all against 1.. Fuck Them!

2005-04-29T12:38:00.000+08:00

Sooooooo SAD..............

Sigh, it have been months since I am last able to go out on the wkend but from what I gather, I think I am by myself this saturday if I want to go out. Well, Megdelene, my Credit card gourp leader has only 2 booths this wkend so I am able to have the saturday off and since monday is public holiday, I will be having most of the week off except a couple of hours on Sunday. Although that means that I earn less but I really look forward to a real off day besides the leave that I take on occasional Mondays to go meet him.

Sigh.......so sad........

2005-04-07T22:28:00.000+08:00

I think that this calls for a reason to be blogging. About my 19th birthday……

Well, I took the dy off fro my credit card job to go help out at the Ladder’s opening ceremony. It wasa really slaky man and they haven’t paid me yet.

Well, Farah, Li Shan and Ron all can’t make it to celebrate my birthday with me so we actually went out on Friday after work to Suntec Kenny Rogers. Together we shared a family meal and we chatted till the place was closing. Well, we talked about some funny encounters that we had with the aunties, uncles or kids. We also talked about adult stuff, novelty stuff. I was surprised about how much Li Shan didn’t know or was it that she was trying to be a good gal image?

On Sunday itself, after work, I met Denise for dinner and I was amazed at how much we could get with a budget of about 50 bucks for 2 person. We went Thai Express for Seafood tom yam soup, asked them not to make it too hot. The we went to Kenny Rogers again to have a quarter chicken that we shared. Lastly, we went to NYDC for boney cake and mud cake which were the 2 desserts that she was recommending strongly. We were both very full by half time the cakes but we still finished it. I think I ate more that night. Hehe….it was really interesting as I never thought of such an interesting kind of dinner; eat a little good stuff here and there to make a meal.

When I reached home, we cut cake at home as a family but I wasn’t too happy. I wasn’t too happy as theway we celebrated birthday as compared to last time was really much lesser. Moreover the joining of my brother whose birthday is about slightly more than a week earlier than mine. For the past couple of years, it has been celebrate together, going out to eat for his birthday and then saying that my celebration is included in there already. As I grow up, I feel less loved in the family, birthday only means sing a song, cut a cake and eat it up in my family. Quite a lack of warmth.

I also opened my presents. With out fail, for quite a no. of years running, I will not fail to receive something from Ron, Li Shan and Farah. Ron gave me a cute tiger bookmark, looks really nice but the sad thing is that I am not exactly into books but still it was really quite cute. Li Shan and Farah got me a Precious moments Cashcard. It was really very cute and I didn’t know that precious moments actually had such things. But the only thing is that, I don’t really know where I can use a cash card, moreover, I don’t know how it works!! But it is nice to have something from Precious Moments in my wallet. Precious Moments has this sweetening of the heart effect.

That night when we chat, I was initially sad already as he can’t celebrate it with me and with him saying that we can’t meet the next day I cried. Much later, he and a few of his team mates managed to plead for an afternoon rest and then we could meet. We were talking when he asked me what I want. I told him what I want and we quarreled about it. Quarreled in a heart breaking sense, over small things that I don’t think is really worth remembering as it is over and has been settled. Anyway, the night ended at about 3 plus in the morning with plans to give me the birthday I want the next day.

The next day was a tricky one. I didn’t want to go for work but can’t let my parents know. I left for work as usual but was hiding at the staircase till my mum went to work I then come back to finish my make up and stuff. I managed to leave the house just before my dad came home but was stuck at the neighboring block when it just suddenly rained real heavily like nobody’s business. I sat at the car parks staircase for 2 hours plus and dare not go back to get an umbrella. I made my way out when he rain got smaller. It was only when I reached Douby Ghout that he has just left the house and we then decided to meet at Takashimaya.

I paid for his cab to taka as the taxi river didn’t have small change. We went to change money then head on to buy rings. We bought from bits and pieces and got rings that was easy to ear but hard to remove sizes and got our names and anniversary date engraved on the inside of the ring. We then went to buys some clothes while the engraving was done. After the rings, we got a cake from that famous cheese cake brand at B2and was heading to B1’s flourist when he suddenly suggested drinks. He went down to get the drinks while I wait for him at B1. He was gone for quite some time and I thought what was up. When he finally returned, he was carrying 2 plastic bags. One obviously had Guiness in it. I still thought he bout so much drinks but then he passed me the other bag and ask me to open and see. My first flowers from him, red roses that were in a beautiful nearly circular bloom. We then cabed to our usual hang out and he paid for everything that day except for the clothes. After cutting the cake, he took the rings to wear it for me. Kind of weird, no sweet talk before wearing, just, which hand do you want it on? After wearing the rings he told me what I wanted to hear most and we hugged…sweet sweet…

Ok then…….think the rest I don’t want to share already. Anyway really really have a very blissful feeling for the rings have an alternative meaning to it….

Ok…this entry was written over 2 nights…..hope the next one will be shorter.

2005-03-30T16:49:00.000+08:00

It's been a while, have been thinking of blogging but as you can see it has only been thinking of blogging. I am now in my office, blogging when there's ain't anything to do.

Well, I looked at the past few entries and think that I should update you guys on my life.

Well, I am working at OCBC securities as a data entry for the office job and am doing a OCBC credit card promoter job on the weekends. I often feel very tired and don't you think that I am rich. the wpay is like so pitiful after CPF and though I do not get the chance to go out much to spend it, but when I am out with my hubby, we easily spend about $100.

Applied for NTU and NUS already, the kind of choices that we have here in Singapore is really not a lot. Only after I submitted my application, I think that I may not be so interested in Medicine after all. NTU was worse. I was only interested in 1 course from them and had problem filling up the rest of my choices. The newly started humanities courses in NTU may sound nice but sorry, they are only taking in about 50-100 students, don't want to waste my choices.

I haven't excerised in a very very very long while and I am begining to understand the dratfulness of excercising when you are working. I know it is possible but I am so tired everyday. I know I need to work out something as I miss perspiring from workouts. But I am so tired. Hmmm.........this makes me think of an article that I have read before. They say that exercise in bed, if you know what I mean, can actually be quite tiring and equivalent to the amount of calories that you expand in a normal workout.Hmmm....hehehehe

Well, there is quite a high chance that after this year, he may not be able to stay here as a soccer player and we are really quite confused as to what to do. after much brain storming, the plan is that he will try to stay here, maybe working as something else but don't know what, if really cannot I will transfer to Peking University of one of the Unis in Beijing. Well, the 2 main obstacles is my parents and $. Well, after talking to him for like so so so long, he has finally agreed to meet up with my family. I don't mean the formal way, but you know, bring him home a couple of times, to let my parents know of his existance and we will see how from there. Well, it has got to start somewhere right?

ok....I think that is all for now.

TA TA

death of the blog

2005-03-12T01:02:00.001+08:00

I was suppose to blog a couple of days ago but kept having no time o was too lazy.

latest update: A for chem, A for maths, B for physics, B for Biology, A2 for GP.
Comments: Well, I would say that this is an averagely okay result only. didn't expect the As and the A2 for GP and I really hoped that Biology was the only that got the A or would i say another A.

I am in no mood to do what i cameonline for, to half fill up scholarship forms.

Overwhelmed by sadness and anxiety. You would know what i mean if you are a loyal blogger for I ever mentioned it before already. money issue takes up 80% of my toubles. 5% for my impending sad local uni life, 10% for my don't know how love life.

I pronounce the death of this blog. I may come here and blog again, i don't know but i have decided that the dairy does things better and no one is reading much anyway or not as thou problems can be solved by blogging about things.

2005-03-03T00:08:00.000+08:00

something awefully big happened today....

well, you see i managedto get a friend, denise to come woth me to jurong east stadium to watch alberix vs sinchi caz i know that he will be going down to help so wanted to try my luck at peeping at him.

we were toking abt it lst night and he said don't go caz he was scared that other people will see through. then i saked if it was okay if i went with a guy friend and he didn't reply. all my sms after that telling him that i will be going he didn't reply. he offed his hp, maybe fall asleep liao. then today i just bloody hell can't get to him, think his hp got something wrong or there is a net working problem. i complained to the m card hotline but there was nothing much that they can do about it.

i went with denise and during half time, i managed to spot him and whispered to denise where he was and we positioned ourselves to sit near where he is. my heart was really racing at that time was so excited but i can't do anything much so i went to see what tibits they were selling outside. when i came back, i purposely walked at the stairs near him and i was looking down all the while till i steal a quick look up and for 1/3 of a seconds our eyes met. he continued to move his eyes away in their inital motion and i really felt that he did see me but i couldn't confirm anything. it was kinda nice that i can get to see my hubby but the fact that i can't go near him brush his hand or talk to him for a sec was really not that nice. i kept stealing a few glances at him or seeing him from the sides but he never onced turned to see me in the eyes. he didn't throughout the rest of the night.

the worrying thing was that denise told me that she was staring at them when i went away and they ctually looked in her direction and she was sure that they were looking at her.

i tried to call him before i wrote this entry but about the response that i get i am not too sure if it's good or bad. good int the sense that there is at least a computered repl by m1 to say that he is unavailable but it is also bad as i don't know if he is mad at me or anything.

just wanted to go see him again.....sigh....

2005-03-01T00:30:00.000+08:00

hey.....what's up dude..hven't herd from you for so long...

well guys, to whoever who ever bothered this plain blog of mine, yup, be glad caz i am in the absolute mood to blog....common...let's start with the headlines.

I never believed in starting out witht the most important scene when it comes to story telling.

first on the news, well, my ocbc data entry job will be ending within the week and I am currently doing credit card roadshow promoter for ocbc. well, i attended for the past couple of days and i think that it is ok, in the sense that it is not too bad. well, the good thing, good rates thou it is inferior to that offered by citibank i heard. the other thhing is that the people in my team are quiet nice people, average;y likeable for the new faces i know in the team. good thing is that till date, li juan and i are in the same team, under this girl by the name of megdelene, a nice and understanding superior who can joke with us pretty well. then there is this weirdo, name is ryan, shall i say that we kind of get it off on the wrong foot? i seriously do not know why but u know, he is someone i enjoy hitting on? whatever that means but it's like i just like to irritate some1 kind of feeling...i made manyfriends and enemies that way for the past couple of years but seriously, it's just a way to pass time. Hmm...sound quiet bad huh? but u can't blame me, he is a nice guy which is something li juan and i agreed but he is damn funny sia...guy? not that but u know very very very talkative and long winded...probably memory lag also, ask same questions like so many times. there's another 2 girls in my team that i have hardly seen thus far. another guy who...manz...quiet talkative too in somewhat a no brainer way at times...sweats a lot and i mean sweat if you get what i mean. but i am having a hard time to lean to tricks or skill of selling multiple cards to a customer which li juan and ryan is getting real good at....sigh....damn...

secondly, the o evel results are out today. the a level's release date won't be far away. i am a little worried, kind of forgotten how the paper was, whether it was good a not but i don't see any point on worry about something that is already done, it is just like waiting for your pizza delivery? you get your results based on something that you have already done? probably i think that i will start worry the nigt before? hmm..maybe that's too long, maybe the hour before? i would really like some company with me to collect the results or maybe some friends to talk with before the results are released. don't know who i can get hooked up with or if my casual friends will be around to chat for long enough. sigh.....

i sigh a lot do i? well, i think from now on, the amount of sighingthat i will be doing will be largely decreased by at least half? y? that's in the next news....

last but not least, and the most important thing that has happened to me is....YEAH! HE'S BACK! Thank God that he is! he reached at about slightl past six in the morning, the first calli recieved from him was at 630 asking me where was the airport's pick up location. i wasn't too familiar with terminal 1's pick up as i was working at terminal 2 last time. I was so scared about many things. i was scared whether he would have a safe trip here, whether we will be able to meet up on the first day of his arrival no matter how short it was. luckily both happened. he was damn fustrated that their new hostel location is in jurong, just a little away from the jurong stadium, meaning there will be a lot of training, and it would be harder for us to meet up and also the convience to town as we both prefer central areas? we manage to meet up for 2 hours plus and boy was that a costly and hurried trip. he cabbed down to town with only 14 sing dollars and i had to arrive earlier to pay of the remains as there was bloody hell no money changer in that kind of ulu pandang place. it's was so good to see him again, thinking of the short afternoon we pent together just makes me beam with a sweet smile that if possible could reach my ears. hmm...he's slightly slightly fatter, fairer, maybe more hair? he said i am skinner, a little too thin which i agree as sometimes when i look into the mirror, i am scared by my nearly bonely shoulders and the fact that i needn't move much to see my ribs should i be looking into the mirror half naked. it was really nice to feel and taste him again. we bickered a little? about me wanting to hear stuff etc...haha...minor things that i waited for coming to half a year. but of caz it was all sweet and nice. wonder when can we go out again and stay out longer as saying that this year wil be more busy and they are more highly watched at jurong and the inconvenice staying at jurong. like today, he needed to rush in and out within the time frame and so he cabbed to meet me and cabbed back.

ok then i think i am a little tired. i know he definitely is too caz he hasn't replied any of my night sms? can't blame him, a night flight last night and hanging out with friends a couple of nights in a row as his friends treat him to farewell dinner and such.

ok then...till next time

won't be too long, at least i know that i will blog about my results when they are out.

2005-02-13T01:39:00.000+08:00

hello!
wanted to blog all along but you know....lazy factor is working. so let try to beat the lazy factor and hopefully i won't have too many spelling errors.....keeping my fingers crossed.

firtsly, We have entered the year of the chicken....about cny and it's rlated happenings......

well, you know where I was when we just entered the year of the chicken? I was in the toilet bathing cause just finish with all the spring cleaning and stuff. then the on the first day of chinese new year, I was all excited as I have planned to do the make up for myself and my sisters and especially so as I borrowed this awesome ultimate beauty book with all the make up and other stuff in it. the make up turn out well but the first few hours of that day didn't. Only shortly after we arrived at my grandmother's house did we all left early due to some quarrel. it was a long time dis-satisfaction about my aunts' attitudes that put my family off and it just happened that it was that day that my elder sis had enuf of it. all my aunts are ultimate bitches....all of them are more or less the fake nice people of nice to a very limited extend. anyway, my sister and I have no intentions of going for any family thingy in the near futre...but frankly speaking, unless there is an unusual big or special event, i will never go there anymore.

after that we went to my cousin's place early. and finally i was commented positively about my looks that day. initially, i thought that there may be something wrong s my relatives all commented individually about the attire and apperance of m family members except for me. i had many flatering comments at my cousin's place which made me feel good about myself. that night, my sister and her bf brought me to play pool, teach me a thing or 2 then we went to eat prata. i suggested jalan kayu and the bf really drove there. we waited for an hour plus for our prata! by the time we got home and was ready for bed, it was 5 am.

the highlght of the second day was more that I met ron and li shan for movies. watched racing stripes. I really don't know what the hell is so funny about the movie, it was just mildly funny to me but my friends were luaghing their heads off. off caz i did understand the funny parts but i think maybe i am more used to silly no brainer humour. i also had a nice surprise. lishan wants to change her wardrobe. I tell you, farah and i have been waiting for a very long time for a comment that comes close to that. that day after themovie,we went walking a round. at the end of the day, she bought a nike sleeveless v nec top and a reebok tennis skirt.
he called that night an we had a nice chat :)

on the third day, went to ruby's house. shared with them about how me and my bf started as it was sharing of such things by the coupled ones. don't really know how they will take my boldness, shamless ness or romanticness into it?

ont eh fourth day's night, today, i went out w a few track friends to have dinner at marche. there was shun hua, yishan, malcom, jac, val and myself. after that i went to look for earrings and int eh end i bought a rhodium ear ring from mushi mushi at ps.

my eyes want to close liao

nitezz

2005-01-30T01:55:00.000+08:00

Hey………..decided to come blog again.

Well, you see the hour is running really late so I think that I will just make this a quick one.

About my life right now: well, you see, I have changed job…to work as some data entry kind of thingy at OCBC auto loan branch. The job there is quiet slack for the past week. No one to supervise us and it is really boring, just doing some nearly what you call no brainer kind of job. Everyday is just plain copying specific data from the old files into new forms which will be keyed into some system real soon by us. You see, the slack part is that your lunch can chose the hour, then we also brought cds and speakers and listening to whatever. Well, after some time there, you will realize what a small world it is over there that your new friend actually knows another friend of yours or friend’s friend kind of thingy, moreover, we are all the same age over there.

Finally I have finished buying my Chinese new year’s clothes but I am not really satisfied with one of the tops. Am thinking of buying one more but you know, the money factor is at play. Talking about money, I am really bloody hell broke. Am wondering f I should call the stupid dfs up to ask about the commission stuff and I wonder about he pay for this week’s work, sending in the original time sheet will be delayed as the guy don’t know got help use sign and stuff anot.

Sigh….My dear hubby is sick. Then it seems that blogs are one of the several things that is restricted by China’s government or something I think….finally end of feb is approaching real soon after the new year which is also really very soon. …hee hee

Ok then, I got nothing much to say liao….

nitez

2005-01-22T23:34:00.000+08:00

唉......昨天真是的。气还没消可是也该差不多了。
好的，那让我们说些开心的是吧。

昨天早上我染头发了。我是乘着我家人去理发原的时候染的。我就是染点的棕色，让头发看起来像是较自然的吧。只有头顶很明显，其他的就是不怎么看得到。我是看他们要去的店应该会比外头来得便宜才想到去弄得，我妈却跟我唠叨五十块的费，我姐还打来叫我别染，别浪费钱什么的。他们真的是超级翻人。尤其是我姐，他以前也不久又染过，染的时候还比我现在来的小，怎么她能染而能叫我别染啊？真的是太自私了，忘了她以前是怎么样的。

那我刚领完薪水，就像是我很有钱似的。德给我妈钱，得还这的那的，真是超级翻。他们每天都得提醒你，两三年的每一天都在提醒着，真的是弄到我真得很讨厌这个家。我现在是，若是没必要的话就少呆在家里，免得他们啰里啰唆的。翻！我有时想的是，我倒不如到酒吧做什么的，或是去买，这一来钱不就很快的进口袋了吗？

今天我打给他的时候，我们就约了下午上网，开那照相机看一看对方。中午去面试后就到我朋友的家开始安装QQ和南极星的染件，但要下载的时候才发现她电脑一点都不能弄到能看华文字，我就以记忆来下载与使用。最后我们还是有看到，有聊到，但因他那的电脑的速度不快，他的图案又蒙又动得慢，我觉得挺怪的。晚上回到家的时候也只有更想他了。想象他就在我的面前，能碰得到他的脸，能在我皮肤上感觉得到他的皮肤和他穿的衣服，想象我会怎样和他撒娇，想象一切的一切。这将近半年来，没有一天我是没想着他过的。起初是想到心翻就去睡，现在在我睡前，我脑里也还是想着他，希望能梦到他什么的。有一次，忘了起初的原因是什么，只记得是一边想，一边哭着睡的。想着想着，我有时也会想到我怎么第一个男友就交个外国人，像是长途的恋情的感觉有时还真不好受。可是...唉...事实就是这样的阿。

下午的时候我就更我朋友出去。她想玩桌球，但到了几个地方都是满座。最后我们在外头边吃冰欺凌和薯条，边聊，就回了。

好了。我没什么可说得了。明天出去看戏。

那就这样.........

晚安

2005-01-22T01:18:00.001+08:00

Fucking Asshole!! Damn....all good mood to blog earlier is just ruined by my stupid elder nagging Sister. DAMN!